My Heart is an open book
by cab4five
Summary: 4o years after the end of the Vietnam War. While helping his parents pack up during a house move, a 16-year-old boy finds his Grandfather's journal amongst other papers and things in an old cardboard suitcase. He had never met the man but through the words on the old pages young Nick Hudson, meets his relative and learns about the man… not just the decorated solider… Finn Hudson
1. Chapter 1

_**My Heart is an Open Book!**_

Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry Fanfiction

AU Romance/Drama/family

T- Rating, likely to change to M for later chapters

Summary: 4o years after the end of the Vietnam War. While helping his parents pack up during a house move, a 16-year-old boy finds his Grandfather's journal amongst other papers and things in an old cardboard suitcase. He had never met the man but through the words on the old pages young Nick Hudson, meets his relative and learns about the man… not just the decorated solider… Finn Hudson

_XxxxX_

A/N: Thanks to every one of you for the support on my last story, I hope you enjoy this new one just as much

As always I own nothing. Except OC's and any mistakes

Thanks for reading, please leave me your thoughts in a review.

This is a _**Finchel**_ story at heart so please keep reading chapter 1 is an introduction and sets the story.

cab4five

*XXXXX * XXXXX * XXXXX * XXXXX *

Chapter - I-

Summer 2015:

Nick Hudson was enjoying his summer holidays; before he was due to commence his junior year at Tudor Woods High in his hometown of Seattle. He'd spent some solid time with his buddies, Jack Wildershot, Marty Gregson and Bray Austin. Going bowling and catching up on their favourite _call of duty_ video game marathons, or hanging out at the mall or the park basketball court, and as many hours as he could be paid for at his summer job in the workshop, tinkering with the engines and pumping gas, at Mr Gregson's garage.

Any spare time he had was trying to talk Marty's older sister, Melissa, into going out with him. But so far, much to his frustrations, he wasn't having any luck as apparently according to Marty, Melissa had her eye on their school's shoe in for rugby captain Clay Torkwood who would be a senior like her when school went back for the new year. So he gave up on her, and instead of following up on the girls who kept sending him friend requests and messages via face book or the ones from school who were always stopping by the garage to _'just say hi'_ he instead spent his time banging on his bright red drum kit with a star on the bass, or making up his own tunes on his acoustic guitar.

Nick was spending a rare relaxing day off anticipating the upcoming 4th of July long weekend, his buddies had all planned to join their families down at the foreshore for a cookout and watch the fireworks, though Nick had made it quite clear that as much as he loved his parents and two younger sisters he didn't want to seen with them in public, as it made him look _'uncool' _and he didn't want to be the target of the slushy brigade or teasing once school went back_. _When he voiced his thoughts over dinner that night, his mom just sighed and said.

"OK honey, but just keep in mind image isn't everything sometimes other things and how you act towards people is more important. But we know you are growing up, just remember we love you and that how you act can influence Michele and Bonnie and you know how much they look up to you, and as they will be freshmen this year Dad and I hope you will keep a look out for them at school."

Nick looks across the table at his parents then his twin sisters sending the girls' a side smile that made the dimple in his right cheek stand out,

"I know Mom, but junior year is important and I want to be able to focus on my studies so I can get into a good college, I mean I know financially we as a family are pretty well off, and Dads' job with his legal company is solid. Hudson a well known name in this city, but I want to do it on my own merits and not be picked on because I like to sing or play the drums… but I promise to watch out for the girls, and try and keep all those slavering sports jocks away from them."

Will and Jenny nod at their son's words and send a smile towards the girls before continuing with their dinner.

Nick takes another look at Michele and Bonnie and suddenly realises how pretty they actually are, even though they are small in body size, just over 5'3"everything is in proportion, but he thinks (not from a creepers point of view) with their long light brown hair and cinnamon colored eyes they are growing up to be beautiful girls and vows then and there to protect them from... well as much as he can the guys out there, who just want to sleep with and use any girl with a pretty face.

Nick has never been the sort to use girls as sex objects, he is always so nervous and tongue-tied when ever he tries to talk to one, that's probably why Melissa didn't want anything to do with him. The ones his age just flat out scare him with their intense giggly nonsense and the fact they are always in groups or pairs, it is real hard to get a girl on her own to talk to, even if he didn't trip over his tongue and end up with a bad case of word vomit, thus putting said girl off and feeling extremely embarrassed into the bargain. Nick reckons he still has plenty of time to worry about girls, so he just forgets about them, and anyway none of his buddies have steady girlfriends either so he knows he isn't that much of a failure.

He worries sometimes though that he is going to be the only college freshman to still be a virgin, if his luck doesn't improve but isn't planning on throwing his virginity away, like a couple of his buddies did last year in the locker room at school, it was after the championship football game, the girl was a super hot but bitchy cheerleader who was just trying to get the top spot on her team by sleeping with as many guys as she could on a dare. The guys' got a sharp kick in the balls by Karma, when they had to visit the doctor and she ended up pregnant having no idea who the father was, then having to quit the team anyway once her coach found out.

XxxxX

2 weeks after July 4th, Nick comes home from the garage on a Friday afternoon, to find a moving company van unloading piles of packing boxes and rolls of bubble wrap. Wondering what the hell was going on; he makes his way inside to find his parents, also wondering why his Dad's duel cab metallic blue ford navigator was sitting in the driveway this early in the day.

"Mom? Dad? What's going on? Why are there packing boxes everywhere? Mom?" Nick hears his parents in the kitchen talking to whom Nick recognises as his Dad's boss Mr Shawcross from the law firm, once he gets closer to the kitchen.

"… Am really very appreciative that you have taken on the position Will, and I know it is extremely short notice but the unfortunate sudden passing of Bill Jackson, from the Lima office has left us as a firm with a major dilemma…"

"It's all right Oscar, I mean it will be a big change for the kids, but as the new school year hasn't started yet, Jenny and I think they should be okay obviously it will take some time… but the opportunity to be a partner is a wonderful and challenging one for my career. Nick might find it harder as he only has two years left in high school, but I'm sure once he understands what a benefit to our family this move to Lima will be he will come around. "

"Thankyou both, I just want you to know Will, that as soon as I knew about Bill you were the only one with enough experience and good sense I would trust to control the Lima practice."

"Well I … um don't really know how to thankyou for that vote of confidence Oscar, except to say you can count on me to handle it to the absolute best of my ability."

The older man shakes his head and waves his hands in front of him "No problems at all, please you are doing us a great service. Now you have the address and details of the house and the schools' in Lima don't you? I took the liberty of including the details of McKinley High school in the list as both our two eldest attended; I know it has a good reputation in the district now their crazy cheerleading coach has left to go into politics or something.

I hope you will find the house satisfactory and comfortable; Margaret and I lived in it when I first set up the Lima practice many, many years ago, and it has been very well looked after, since then by a well known and long established real estate firm, Fabray- Evans and Co. I have been in contact with them to let them know you will be moving in and they promised to give it a good going over and get it ready for you. Now is there anything else I need to tell you…? Let me think you have your air tickets if you want to fly yes? Just call the airport with the final details and you also have the credit card for gas and accommodations, if you chose to drive it takes about 35 hours plus stops. Just let me know what you decide so I can let the office in Lima know when to expect you all."

Then as he gets up from the dinning table and takes his coffee mug to the sink Oscar turns towards the door, stopping to shakes hands with Will and Jenny, again thanking them profusely for upping their family to move across the country so suddenly.

At dinner that night Will and Jenny Hudson explained to their three children what was going on, and hoped that the kids understood how much of a benefit for their dad the move would be and of course they understood that the kids would miss their friends and life here in Seattle but from the quick look the kids had at the Lima Ohio website and the McKinley high-school page, they all agreed that the town looked to be very pleasant. It was a bonus that their Uncle Chris worked at the school they'd be attending so they'd at least have their cousin Noah, who was moving into his senior year at McKinley to show them the ropes.

Will then said that "his parents were both from Lima, before they moved to New York after his Dad came home from the Vietnam War, but came back to Lima with Uncle Chris a couple of years before I was born. They were still there but Dad sort of became a recluse a few years after the war and has refused to speak or see anyone, not even Uncle Chris, Mom is the only one who can get through to him, I feel bad about not spending much time with him over the years but with moving here for college and law school then the firm and you guys, I guess the time flashed past too quick, They are both well physically, but whatever happened to Dad… lets hope by living in the same town we can repair the damaged lines of communication… he was a great dad always smiling and laughing…"

Jenny squeezed her husbands hand and leant over to press a soft loving kiss on his dimpled cheek, her own thoughts of the tall man and tiny wife who she has met only a handful of times, swirling in her head, and hoping not only for her husband's sake but their kid's, that they can somehow break down the walls that her father in law has erected around himself.

Brought back to the present and the eager anticipation of moving to a new town and how Will's comment had sparked everyone's interest, the elder Hudson's hoped the kids would give up some of their holidays to help sort through and pack up the house.

Bonnie and Michele were very excited about the move and gladly offered to help pack, and after seeing some photos' of their new home at 515 Fieldview Ave, and all the open space around it were looking forward to maybe having a pony or two as they'd always wanted a horse but they didn't have enough room in Seattle. Will told them that they had a very good chance of that happening, the girls then jumped up from their chairs and tag-teamed him by pressing thankful kisses and nearly squeezing his breath from his large body. When Will regained his breath he told his family that his Mom and Dad still lived in his Dads' childhood home on Bluebird Ave.

Nick on the other hand was in two minds, he was of course very proud of his dad and knew the move would be good for his career… but at the same time he would miss his friends and everything he'd ever known in Seattle. He went to bed that night thinking about things and wishing his mind would just shut up. He had been given the task of packing up the cellar starting tomorrow, and was hoping it would be an easy job, 'cause at this time of year it is real stuffy down there and he really doesn't want to come across any long forgotten mice mummies or other creepy stuff.

XXXXXX

Nick was awake pretty early for a Saturday especially as he was on summer break, but then he remembered his family were moving all the way across country to Ohio and they had to get their house in Seattle packed and moved, well the contents anyway, in a couple of weeks so he and his sisters would be pretty much settled by the time the fall school term began. He could smell his moms' famous pancakes and bacon wafting up the stairs so he jumps out of his bed, and races to his on-suite bathroom, hoping idly the new house will have enough bathrooms so he doesn't have to share with the girls, as he really doesn't want them to see his early morning _'excitement'_ nor does he want to have to step around all their _'girly'_ stuff and having two sisters there is always double the amount of stuff that seem to go hand in hand with their girly tempers and dramas.

He forgoes a shower, as he knows he will most probably get sweaty and covered in dust and cobwebs down in the cellar. Glad he made sure to put his I-pod on charge last night, he makes his way down to breakfast falling down the last two stairs when his giant foot catches the end of a bundle of packing boxes, landing him on his hands and knees, face slammed against the hall mirror that had been taken down and was resting against the wall waiting to be packed. He looked at his reflection and wondered how he had grown so tall, the last time he checked he was nearly 6'3" while the girls were tiny; but then his dad was tall just topping 6'2", but Uncle Chris was only about 5' 8" and didn't look like his dad… weird. Nick shrugs his already broad shoulders.

Then he remembered what his Uncle Chris said after his first growth spurt when he had just turned twelve.

"You have inherited the Hudson genes kiddo, as well as the famous Hudson dimples and passion for music and singing, but don't ever to be afraid to let your talents be known, regardless of what other people say. Your Grand Daddy Finn told me that, and boy could he beat the drums; I remember him and your Grandma Rachel used to take any opportunity at family gatherings, and the like, to sing together. Well more like Mom would sing and Dad would play his drums and add bits of the song just to balance it all out, but boy let me tell you when Grandma Rachel sang everything stopped because she had the looks and the voice of a brunette angel. Did you know kiddo they were even the glee club at their school? Even won some competitions if I recall correctly, pretty big ones too, like state wide... But all of a sudden he stopped … and I don't think he's sung since…"

Finn and Rachel Hudson were his… well his, Bonnie and Michele's grandparents, and he made a mental note to ask his dad about it later. But that would have to wait as his stomach was about to start eating its self so picking himself up of the floor, he walked into the dinning room rubbing his knees, garnering strange looks from the girls as he had apparently interrupted a very important conversation about what color saddle blankets to buy for their ponies Rosie and Tippy, once they got them and concerned ones from his folks. But Nick shakes his head and sits in his chair instantly reaching for the plates of fluffy pancakes and bacon, practically drowning the lot with copious amounts of maple syrup and washing the lot down 10 minutes later with nearly a pint of milk.

"I've put a bundle of packing boxes and a couple of rolls of tape, in the hall to the cellar honey, if you aren't sure of anything just put it to the side and I'll check it out later, though I think pretty much every thing should be all good to go as we've not touched it for ages, we usually clear out stuff fairly regularly, I'll call you for a break a bit later on ok honey?"

"Ok Mom, just make sure you don't forget to come get me, so I don't starve to death and end up shoved in one of the boxes by mistake."

His moms giggles followed him down the hallway till he came to the cellar door, thankfully she had turned on the light so he didn't fall face first down the stairs for the second time that day like the clumsy goofball he is. Nick got himself organised plugged his head phones in his ears selected some classic rock from his fairly eclectic play lists', and got to work, singing along to a classic.

"_Tommy used to work on the docks, union's been on strike  
He's down on his luck, it's tough, so tough  
Gina works the diner all day working for her man  
She brings home her pay, for love, for love_

_She says, we've got to hold on to what we've got  
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not  
We've got each other and that's a lot for love  
We'll give it a shot_

_Woah, we're half way there  
Woah, livin' on a prayer  
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear  
Woah, livin' on a prayer…"_

Lost in his own world with his music Nick starts his task, packing box after box of books and bits and things, every so often putting stuff that was definitely trash, into a pile in the corner, a couple of torn boxes of what looked like plates and kitchen stuff he just repacked into a new box, making sure to write on the box in big letters the words FRAGILE all over it. Another box looked to be filled with linen so he did the same with that but when he got to the bottom of it he found wrapped in an old bath towel a little brown cardboard case that looked like the one he used to keep all his matchbox toy cars in when he was real small.

Nick carefully placed the bundle on the dusty floor and gingerly unwrapped it fully, then carefully undoing the leather strap around it. He opened the lid to find what appeared to be papers, old photos and leather bound notebook. He was very interested as to what they all were, but not wanting to damage the old papers with his sweaty dirty hands. Nick used the tip of his fingernail to flip over the cover of the notebook and the first thing that caught his attention, on a lose sheet of soft pink paper, were the words written in a neat loopy hand

'_Love you always Finny, yours forever Rachel xxx'- Lima, 10 October 1965 _

Nick couldn't believe the treasure he had found, he straight away realized these papers and notebook must have belonged to his Grandparents, and from what his dad had said last night, that was still fresh in his mind Nick knew he couldn't pack this stuff again so he carefully wrapped it all back up in the towel and raced upstairs to his room putting the precious bundle in his backpack that he would be taking with him in the car, then racing back down stairs grabbing an apple or two from the kitchen on his way past, finishing off his chores by lunchtime, and then helping his dad carry the trash out to the curb for the council to cart away, then hauling all the repacked boxes to the garage ready for the movers who were due in a couple of days.

The kids' had a combined going away party of sorts the last night before they were due to leave and all their friends that were in town had a great time taking dozens of photos and all promised to keep in touch via facebook or SKYPE.

The day of the Hudson family's big departure had arrived, it had been decided that Nick would go by car with Will and their 5 year old Border collie dog Pip, and the few boxes of precious ornaments and favorite pot plants Jenny didn't trust to the movers, and she along with Bonnie and Michele, would catch the plane. The girls would obviously arrive before them and as Chris was still on his summer break, he would pick them up from the Dayton airport and take them to the house, he had been able to collect the keys from the real estate office on Friday, so everything was good he was more than happy to leave his spare car with her for a few days. Jenny had accepted his and Jane's offer to stay with them the first night as they had no bedding or anything, until the movers arrived.

At 4am on the Tuesday, Will and Nick said goodbye to their girls and promised to stay safe on the road and promised to call a couple of times during the trip and then again when they were close to Lima. Jenny and the girls were due to fly out at 6:30 am so needed to be at the airport about an hour before. So with one last round of teary kisses and hugs from his mom and the girls, a couple of sloppy kisses from Pip and one last look( using the bright new moon to see by) at the only home he'd ever known, Nick and Will Hudson, reversed down their driveway and on to Forks Street heading south east onto interstate 90. The drive was pretty uneventful, besides having to stop every couple of hours for a rest stop and to let Pip have a toilet stop and run around.

It was just after 10am when they had stopped for gas and another stretch and some food at a busy truck stop. When Nick brought up the subject of his Hudson grandparents, because since finding the old diary and papers in the little satchel, Nick had been extremely intrigued by the whole idea of finding out about the man, who from what both his dad and Uncle Chris had said was a normally happy man. So what had happened to him … well besides the obvious fact he'd been a soldier in the Vietnam War, but was apparently happy after serving his time, then suddenly becoming a recluse and seemingly forgetting his love of music and his family.

In a nervous tone Nick speaks "Hey Dad?" as rubs the back of his neck, with his left hand, looking across the wooden picnic table at his dad, and once Will is looking at him with a concerned but puzzled look, he continues.

"Yeah buddy, something brothering you?"

"Yeah, well no, not really I've just been thinking… well you know about Granddad and Grandma Hudson, and how you hardly ever talk about them or… I mean … are you not close? Like me and the girls have never even met them, and it's… just now that we are going to be living in the same town as them I was wondering if we'd like get to visit and stuff … 'Cause when I was cleaning out the cellar I found an old case wrapped in a towel filled with old letters and what looks like a diary or something. And it got me thinking, about them you know?"

Nick takes a deep breath after he's finished speaking and nervously clears his throat thinking he has upset his dad by bringing up the past due to the older Hudson's prolonged silence.

Will copies his sons' nervous neck rub before speaking,

A small smile appears on Will's face "Is that where that lot ended up, I'd wondered what had happened to it, but Nick please understand … when my Dad came home from the war he was a mess the things he'd seen and … well you've seen doco's on TV about it so I think you understand what I mean… then after a while he seemed to be back to his old self, the fun carefree Dad Chris and I remembered, he'd started playing his drums again and singing with Mom … I don't remember too many days when she wouldn't be just doing her chores or in the garden without singing or humming. Our house was never really quiet there was always some sort of music, usually them but sometimes it was the radio or Mom's treasured record player belting out her favorite Broadway classics or Dads' rock and roll stuff."

Will's face transforms with a wistful look as he remembers the happy childhood he and Chris shared at home.

Nick is listening with rapt attention to his dad, and trying to picture him and his Uncle Chris as kids,

Will starts again, "Of course us boys' grew up and went our separate ways, as you know I went to Seattle after college and met your Mom, and Uncle Chris went down to Columbus in Ohio for college after gaining a football scholarship then met Auntie Jane… and well once we left home and got busy with our lives we just lost touch…, oh we'd still call Mom every week and tried to spend most of the important holidays in Lima. Then about 25 years ago he and Mom went to a reunion of his army unit over in Columbus, I remember speaking to him a couple of days before and how he was looking forward to catching up with his old buddies and how his old uniform surprisingly still fitted him… but something must have happened that weekend , and even Mom wouldn't say… whether she didn't know or was protecting us boys I don't know, because from then on he stopped talking to anyone except Mom, and well it seemed what ever was troubling him could only be soothed by Mom's singing…"

But maybe if you read all those papers and things you might find out what happened. You know son you are so much like Dad it is uncanny, not only in looks because that's a given as you are my son and apparently I'm a spitting image of my Dad, but I mean your mannerisms and love of music as well not to mention you talents on the football field and under the hood of a car. You never know buddy maybe you will be the one after all this time to break down the wall Dad has put around himself … and let me tell you Nick, if you can be the one to get through, you and the rest of us will be given back the most honest, brave, caring, loving, talented and special man in the entire world. That's why we named you Nicholas Finn, because from the first minute I saw you I just had a feeling deep in my gut you'd be a good strong man when you were grown just like my Dad...

Now we'd better make a move or your Mom will be worrying and blowing up my cell, wondering where we are." He stands to collect their trash while slapping Nick on the shoulder while Nick tries to untangle Pip's lead from around the table leg.

Once again on the road Nick digs out the bundle of papers and looks through them properly, finding them in chronological order, which made him smile at the organisation and he noticed the top bundle was written in the same loopy hand as the first page he found. He decided to wait to read them till he could spread them out, so instead he opened the plain bound notebook realizing this was his Granddads. In a neat hand written in blue ink with what looked like a calligraphy pen that he had used in art class last year, he read …

_To my dearest Grandson Finnegan, _

_Now you have reached your high teens and are about to embark on the young adult leg of your education, please use this journal to document your travels', through what I sincerely hope will be a long and wonderful life, filled with the solid unwavering love and companionship of your true soul mate, happiness and music. I know you will be credit to our family name in what ever you decide to do with your life._

_Nana Elizabeth - 1954_

_Ps: Always keep the music in your heart dear, it can guide you through the worst times and make the good times even better._

Nick smiles to himself at the words which he reckons are typical Nana words, it's exactly the sort of things his Nanny Cathy says, and then turns the page…

_First day of freshman year: At McKinley High School_

_September 1955_

**A/N: Should I continue?**

**Our Finn and Rachel will show up next chapter I promise, this one was just to introduce the story and the character of Nick Hudson and his journey back in time to find out what happened to Finn.**

**Please review and let me know your thoughts, I really want to know if you liked it.**

**cab4five**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter ****II**

**September 1955**

Finn Hudson was talking out loud to him self as he traipsed up stairs to his bedroom, well to himself and the legions of paper cowboys riding across his walls chasing their cows around the spiky cactus bushes.

"Man! I can't believe I'm gonna write in this little book, I know my Nana gave it to me as a going to high school gift, but I mean what dude about to be a high school freshman writes in a freaking book, I mean it's just not cool… but it did make Nana Elizabeth and my Mom extra happy so I guess as long as none of my buddies from school, especially Puck see it then I should be cool, because if Puck knows about it he will never let up razzin' me so here goes."

Finn sits at his desk that is in a good well lit spot under the window, takes the last bite of his banana bread and swallow of milk wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, picks up his pen, takes a deep breath and begins.

Xxxxx

First day of freshman year at McKinley High School:

I heard my alarm go off , but made no move to get out of bed I just reached my hand out from under my toasty warm covers and hit the off button, then rolled over and obviously fell asleep again, 'cause the next thing I knew was mom shaking me and calling my name saying if I don't soon get up I'll be late for my first day of high school. I groaned and slowly opened my eyes stretching my long body thinking it really was time mom and dad brought me a new bed 'cause over the summer I had a massive growth spurt and now I'm hanging off the ends of my bed when I lay flat.

So after a visit to the bathroom and a shower enjoying the hot water and managing to fit in a song or two as well as a bit of _'personal time'_, I dressed in my usual jeans and t-shirt under my regular button up shirt and my jacket. Not that I was really bothered with threads, but I thought I looked pretty hip. I tried to Brylcreem my hair into a sort of DA in the back, but it didn't really work, so I just combed it down and into a side part. Mom had made my all time favorite breakfast of pancakes, scrambled egg and bacon. I was so hungry (as always) I scoffed it down pretty quick, Mom just looked at me and shook her head laughing. Another quick trip upstairs to brush my teeth and I was ready to go. I kissed mom on the cheek as she handed me my lunch bag which she said she'd packed in three of my favorite PB and J sandwiches' and a couple of slices of banana bread with butter, as well as a couple of nice red apples.

I caught the number 5 bus that stopped on the corner of my street and the park on Starbird Crescent, before it went along Fieldview Way. I nodded at a couple of my friends, Mike, Ben and Tom and sat next to Puck, half listening to him moan about how his Mom wouldn't let him leave the house with his hair slicked back, and looking like a bad boy rocker or biker or whatever, so he had to comb it down into his '_good boy Noah hair'_, but he must have fixed it as soon as he was out of her sight and on the bus 'cause it was now all slick and styled.

xxxxx

My classes were pretty cool, first period I had English with Mrs Whatley, then math with Mr Beetson, I'm pretty sure Puck was 'sposed to be in my math class , that's what he said at the end of english anyway when he was right behind me , but then he disappeared. Finally recess but I couldn't wait till lunch to eat my food, I was starving, thank you Mom for knowing me so well and packing extra so I had one sandwich and an apple and since recess was only about 10 minutes, I just stood by my locker, which is number 515.

Then I saw Puck wondering why he didn't go to math, smoozin' up to a blonde dressed in a super tight skirt and tight shirt with a gold jacket tied around her middle it had words on it but I couldn't read them not that I was really looking but it looked like it said _Angels'_, a couple of lockers down from me trying to chat her up, and had to laugh when she just gave him a hard look and a head shake. I wasn't really worried about him missing out on wearing her down 'cause with the badass DA in his slicked back hair, blue jeans, white sleeveless t-shirt and leather jacket, the chick's always eventually folded and made out with him. I reckon he was tryin' to be a James Dean clone; he'd probably even have a motor-cycle if he was old enough to get a licence . She then linked arms with her couple of her friends, girls' I sort of knew from elementary school named Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce, I laughed again as they all walked , well it was more like sway /walked off. Jackets tied around their middles, and their clothes looking like they must have painted them on they were so tight, their hair all curled and fancy like.

The other kids moved out of their way, though I reckon it probably had something to do with the "_I want to go this way freak _and _act like an egg and beat it nerd." _Being hissed at them,but when theypassed me the blonde leader winked at meI stopped laughing and blushed as red as a tomato, and tried to look like I was busy in my locker, tripping over my feet as I spun around quickly and face planted the hard metal. Oh man how embarrassing , I heard them giggling at my clumsyness but I kept my head down and finished what I was doing. Just then the end of recess bell went I grabbed my books for science and history, and was trying to walk quickly down the crowded hallway and read my timetable to see what room number I needed at the same time, when I bumped into someone, and of course my clumsy giant body fell down right on top of who I realized was another person, oh man… a girl person… a beautiful tiny girl person, and she squeaked at me to "please get off her".

I scrambled to my knees, trying to pick up her bundle of books that fell, I couldn't even say sorry for knocking her down, but in my defense I was unable to actually speak 'cause she was the prettiest girl I'd seen in like ever. Way better even than those movie stars like Marilyn Monroe or Lana Turner, and much, much more than those wannabe bikers' chicks' from before, who honestly scared me a little.

I can remember the few words I did finally speak once my stupid tongue got untwisted in my mouth all I said was "Whoa you are the most" my face felt like it was burning with embarrassment again but for some funny reason it didn't matter. But I did help her off the floor by sticking out my hand, which she grabbed in her tiny hand, and sent tingles up and down my spine and made my pants feel tight. She looked at me with the biggest pair of chocolate brown eyes and gave me a little smile. I think the world stopped because I couldn't think straight. When I pulled her up, as usual my clumsy self had to show up again. And I tugged too hard making her slam against my chest. She made a little moaning noise on impact and bounced back a bit.

"I'm so sorry for knockin' you down; man I hope I didn't hurt you um…"

"No, no I assure you I'm completely unharmed, thank you for assisting me but I have to go I don't like to be late for class, because you see it looks bad on ones permanent record, but thank you again. "

She pushed a little bit of her long dark hair out of her face and bit her lip. "I um… thank you again, maybe I'll see you around?" then she held out her hands for her books I still had hold of and turned around walking quickly towards the hallway. I groaned at how good her little body looked in her pink skirt that finished just under her knees and her tight shirt held together at her tiny waist by a white belt. What I could see of her legs were tanned and shapely and her little white ankle socks and white tennis shoes finished off her look perfectly. Her shiny brown hair was in a pony tail that hung to the middle of her back and I reckoned if it was out she could just about sit on it.

Oh man she was so pret… wait you drip Hudson you didn't even get her name, well boyo you will just have to keep a look out she can't be anything but a freshman unless she is a very small senior but she has to be your age…, just as I was thinking about her some more, the bell went and I had to leg it out of the hall to get to science. I didn't want to get detention for being tardy my first day…

I made it just as the teacher Mr. Rumbold was shutting the door; he gave me a dirty look as I puffed out a wheezy "sorry sir". Most of the other kids were sniggering into their hands as he gave me another stern look and pointed me to a seat, so I quickly walked with my head down hiding my red face and sat at the only spare desk in the end row at the back near the window.

I unpacked my notebook and pencils and looked up just as Mr Rumbold started to call attendance and as he said each name the kid made a motion with their hand or said "here" or "yes" out loud. He was in the B's and just got past Bastian- Robert, Ben-Israel Jacob, Bennett -Susanna, Berry…, when I sneezed and of course my clumsiness caused me to knock my pens off my desk, as I was reaching into my pocket for my handkerchief… when I heard the same beautiful voice from the hall , I whipped my head up so fast I made myself dizzy enough to nearly fall off my stool, when in answer to the name Berry - Rachel, a soft "here sir" was heard and a tiny arm shot straight up in the air.

The other kids burst into laughter and I heard the same blonde girl Puck was talking to at recess, from the seat next to me, snigger and say just loud enough "teachers pet, jeepers creepers what a freaky goody two shoes."

I don't know why I reacted the way I did, but I told her "to clam up and leave Rachel alone" Mr. Rumbold then told the class to settle down as he wanted to finish taking attendance and get on with his lesson. The blonde who's name was Quinn Fabray, spent the rest of the lesson sending Rachel dirty looks, and making nasty comments anytime she said anything, and trying to sit closer to me, sending, me little notes.

Me, on the other hand spent the rest of the lesson staring at the back of Rachel's head, ignoring the girl next to me completely, and willing Rachel to turn around and look at me, she was in the seat directly infront of me and I was hoping we'd have to do some partner work because I was gonna pick her. Just as I was being watched by Quinn, I noticed that creepy Jacob kid with the two surnames, watching Rachel like she was a tasty meal or something and wanted to get up and tell him off for looking at her like that, but I couldn't, I didn't know if he was her boyfriend or not, but by the way she kept trying to move her stool away from him, gosh if she moved any farther she'd be sitting on the window sill, and the creeped out look on her face, it was pretty obvious that she wasn't interested.

The bell rang and the class emptied lickity split, that Quinn girl wrapped her arms around my neck and said loudly "That she'd see me at lunch in the cafeteria and how she'd save me a seat in coolsville where I belonged, not in dullsville with a ugly wet rag like her." Then she pointed to Rachel with a mean look on her face.

When I pushed her away and said just as loudly ( I was hoping Rachel would hear and know that I was a nice guy), "I'm not interested in your sort so leave me alone" she stormed off in a huff, I didn't care. I decided then that she was one of those girls who pretended butter wouldn't melt in her silver spoon sort, and acted all sweet and innocent, but was really a nasty meanie.

Only me and Rachel were left then, she looked to be having trouble with her shoe or something so I stopped on my way past her desk.

"Um… hi Rachel?... Um do you need help..., oh man I didn't break your shoe when I knocked you down did I, just my luck I meet a pretty girl and if knocking her over isn't enough I have to go and break her nice shoes' as well…."

My goofy ramblings were cut off when I felt her tiny hand press over my mouth as she locks her beautiful dark eyes on mine, a soft smile on her plump pink lips.

"Finn please calm down, (1)- you didn't injure me in any way, (2)- I was just doing up my shoelace, so I didn't trip over it, and (3)- thank you for before … you know when you told that girl to be quiet, I appreciate your chivalry. But um… without sounding too forward I was wondering if you'd like to maybe eat lunch with me? Maybe we could talk some more and perhaps get better acquainted… That is I mean if you wanted to and … didn't feel obligated to eat in the cafeteria with the other hip cats?"

Then her face gets a sort of sad look.

"Yeah for sure, Rachel that would be swell. But er… just so you know I don't care about being in the cool popular crowd."

Rachel smiles at me and this time a real big happy beaming one I nod my head sending her a smile in return. I just lose myself in her eyes

"I look forward to it then why don't we meet by the lockers then hmm? Mine is 116, what number is yours Finn? Finn, hello? " I feel a tap on my chest and drag myself back to the real world

"Sorry what? I was distracted.

Rachel giggles and then clears her throat, running her thumb along the edge of her fringe moving it to the side of her face away from her eyes, smiling again she says

"I asked you what number your locker is, mine is 516."

"OH yeah, yeah I remember mine is um 515…, hey we're neighbors, pretty cool huh? Oh man there goes the bell again, I've got history next what about you?" I ask as I walk towards the door thankful the history room isn't that far from where we are.

Rachel softly says she has history as well and walks very close to my side and every few steps our hands brush aginst each others, I smile widely as we walk into the hallway and turn right .

We didn't get much time in history to talk because Mr. Schuester wanted to get straight into the lesson once he'd taken attendance. But I didn't mind as we had lunch next so I knew I'd have time to talk to Rachel then, I tried to concentrate on the Greek or the Caesar dime-on-a-string thing he was talking about wondering why Mr. Schuester was going on about dressing a salad and budgeting their money (did they even have the same sort as us?) when it was supposed to be history class but it was hard with Rachel sitting right next me. Her perfume or shampoo was making my mind dull but for some crazy reason I didn't mind.

I pulled a page from my notebook and scribbled my question on it sliding it along the desk and bumping Rachel's arm with the paper. She looked at me when she noticed the page and blushed the prettiest shade of pink before pressing one hand over her mouth to stop her giggles escaping, before looking up to check Mr. S wasn't watching us and wrote on the paper, before sliding it back. I read her words written in a neat loopy way, that made me think it was just like Rachel, cute and perfect, Grinning like a goofball, hoping Mr Schuester won't catch me.

_He isn't talking about cookery or money Finn, he is explaining about the Ancient Greek and Roman dynasties' and how their inventions and designs have become everyday common place things for, and improved the modern world, now please pay attention. It is very important that we start off our high school careers as we intend to finish them, which is as perfect students with an excellent GPA, needless to say I will not accept a score of anything below a 3.0 but that would be a very rare occurrence indeed. My ideal score is of course 4.0 you should always endeavor Finn to aim high. Now please stop distracting me, we can talk at lunch._

I blushed a little at the two cute smiley faces Rachel drew underneath. She also put a little star thingy at the end of her name that looked like this (_Rachel*)_. I just nodded my head, carefully folding up the page and carefully tucking it inside my text book I was definitely keeping that page. Hoping the rest of the hour goes real quick so I can talk to Rach without being interrupted.

Once we had got our lunches from our lockers… that was another thing that had me floating, knowing that I'd see Rachel here first thing every morning. I couldn't understand how I was attracted to her so fast, I mean don't get me wrong she was perfect, real small (she didn't reach any higher than my bicep) but she was just so dang cute, and for some reason I felt different inside, even with my clumsy giant body, she didn't seem to think I was an idiot or mind that I asked a stupid question in history and the way she kept saying 'we' it was almost like she wanted to go steady… but why would a pretty girl who was obviously real smart want anything to do with me huh? But I wasn't going to argue if she wanted to spend time talking, she could talk all she wanted, as long as I was the one she was talking to.

Rachel and I found a bench in one corner of the quadrangle which was out of the wind and started to eat. I was starving again so I ate quickly, sipping on my milk and sneaking little peeks at Rachel who was sort of just nibbling on her sandwich.

"Thanks for helping me out in history Rachel, I was just a little confused I mean I'm not bad at the stuff but … "

"It was my pleasure Finn, but I think we should introduce ourselves formally before we embark on the inevitable road to a long and lasting friendship, do you confer?"

"Oh um… yeah well if that means do I agree that we should be friends then yes I do."

"Excellent, I'll begin shall I? Hello, I'm Rachel Barbra Berry, it is my very great pleasure to make your acquaintance." Rachel then sticks out her right hand for me to shake.

"Er, I'm Finnegan, er, Finn Christopher Hudson, hi and the pleasure is all mine." I joined my hand with Rachel's tiny one and we shook them firmly.

"Wonderful, now Finn, please tell me about your self we still have a few minutes of lunch time left, then I will tell you about my own self on the way home, that is providing you reside in close proximity to Star Bird Crescent"

"Yeah that sounds real cool, and man that is perfect I live on Bluebird Ave, a couple of houses up from the park. Will you catch the number 5 school bus too?"

"Why yes I will, though I do like to walk when the weather is nice as I find the early morning exercise lifts my energy levels plus I like to use the 15 minutes or so to practice my singing, you know walking at a brisk pace while singing helps improves ones lung capacity. Now enough about me tell me about your cute self please."

Rachel blushed the prettiest shade of pink when she said I was cute, and for a minute I couldn't think straight, but in the end I managed to get my brain and my voice working together again and began to tell her about me.

"Oh um well there's not really that much of interest to say, I'm really pretty boring, I live with my Mom and Dad. Like I said in Bluebird Ave number 525, my Dad is the assistant manager at the Lima steel foundry and my Mom is a nurse at the Lima County Hospital. I went to Lima elementary school, My Mom is from Toledo and my Dad was born in Columbus… um there's not much else, I'm an only child I enjoy playing football and basket ball, my Dad reckons I could be McKinley's quarterback if I keep playing good like I have been, I played little league for years, but …I mean I enjoy it but it does come with a lot of pressure, and I quite honestly don't think I'm good enough, I er don't have a steady… um I also like playing the drums, I got an unreal bright red kit with a big star on the bass for Christmas last year and the dude at the music shop said was my kit was top notch."

Rachel turns around a bit more on the bench so she is nearly face to face with me and takes my hand in both her tiny ones, a bright beaming smile plastered over her whole face before saying in an excited tone.

"You like music? Oh how super, I can't believe I've met someone who enjoys music as much as I, wait please tell me you can sing too?"

"Um well sorta, I-I mean not in public or anything but I used to sing in Church when I was younger, and now just when I'm by myself or the shower…," I nervously rub my free hand over the back of my neck and send Rachel a shy side smile that shows up the deep dimple on my right cheek, even through the heat I can feel climbing up my face from under my shirt collar.

Rachel lets go of my hands and bounces a little in her seat making little clapping actions with her hands.

"Oh how fortuitous you bumped into me this morning Finn, that is indeed wonderful news, we will have to organize a rehearsal schedule, I have a studio of sorts in my basement… now as the bell is about to ring indicating the commencement of our afternoon lessons I suggest we head to our lockers to obtain our learning materials and peruse your timetable to see if we have more any of the same classes, though I do know for a fact I have home making and food and nutrition this afternoon which is girls only."

I was just sitting there stunned at the speed Rachel was talking and at the many big words she was using, and made a mental note to ask mom if we had a dictionary at home, if not I would use some of my birthday money to buy one that I could keep with me at all times .

I was shaken from my thoughts, by the soft giggling, coming from the beaming brown haired girl, with the shining chocolate eyes nudging me in the side with her elbow.

"Finn that is the third time you've zoned out on me when I've been talking, I know I probably talk too much but I find I always have a lot to say and don't see why my opinion should be swept under the carpet so to speak, normally people just tell me to be quiet but yo… Mmmph"

Rachel is suddenly rendered mute as I slammed my eyes closed and pressed my lips firmly against her mouth, then a few seconds later pulled away and took a deep breath, before jumping up and running away thankful I had a double period of gym. I felt like an idiot for running away and not even looking behind.

I was cursing at myself, because if I'd chanced a look behind me, I'd have seen my brand new friend Rachel Berry sitting there, with tears streaming down her beautiful face.

In gym class Puck met me at the lockers asking me "where were you at lunch man? 'Cause I was checking out the girls trying out for cheerleading and thought you might've wanted to 'get to know a couple of them. They were chasin' the goss on the tall cat, man…"

Puck started going all moony about some girl called Quinn, I remembered she was the one who was nasty to Rachel so I didn't really care "and did I think he'd have a chance getting her to neck with him under the bleachers."

But I wasn't listening to my friend. I was more worried about my own girl, well technically Rachel wasn't mine, _(yet_) because we'd only just met but, we were friends and I felt pretty damn low for just up and kissing her then leaving her sitting there.

I tried to focus on what coach was talking about but was finding it real hard to concentrate, for (1) our coach was a lady, and (2) she kept saying weird things that had more to do with a farm than sports

So I pretended to be unwell and told coach Beiste "that I needed to go see the nurse and could I please have an absent slip."

Coach just patted me on the shoulder and said "Yeah course ya can punkin, don' want ya pukin' all over my gym like a lazy three legged donkey's chaff bag on a holiday weekend now do we?"

I gave coach a funny look and nodded my head in thanks, trying to figure out what she said, picked up my school bag and walked slowly out of the gym.

Once outside I picked up my pace and ran over to the home -making and cookery wing, I remembered Rachel said she had her last two classes of the day here. I found a quiet semi hidden spot and while I was waiting for the bell to ring I spent time thinking about the kiss me and Rachel shared, (_more like attacked her you moron, you'd be_ _lucky if she ever speaks to you again, never mind wanting to go out with you or let you kiss her again, at any time in the future_) I shook my head trying to get the voice in my head to be quiet, so I can think of what to say when Rachel gets out of class.

Hopefully she will let me walk home with her and still want to be my friend. I decide to do the little bit of homework, while I waited, not really impressed the teachers gave homework out on the first day. My inner voice starts up again running my thoughts together so I have it down pat for when I see Rachel, or Rach, _yeah I like that it's cute and different just like her, ok so here goes… _

"_Um Hi Rachel, I um want to apologize for attacking you before…, NO,NO that sounds like I was beating her up or something and I'd never do that to her or any girl."_

"_I hope you didn't mind me kissing you Rachel, but I wanted … "_

"_Rach, that kiss was fantasic and I could do it…"_

"_About that kiss…"_

"Ahem" I look up and see the very girl I was thinking about standing there, with her hands on her hips and a look on her face that was a cross between angry and sad, but the way the sun was shinning behind her and making her sort of glow, I lost my voice for a minute and the words I had sorted out in my head seemed to just vanish, so I quickly stand up and shake my head trying to get my tongue around what I needed to say.

"R-Rachel er… hi… um… d-did you hear all that

"Yes Finn, so what about that kiss? I hope that wasn't just a ploy to get me to be quiet because if it was Mister Hudson you had better think again, and furtherm… "

I sort of pounced forward and pulled Rachel against my body making all her breath come out in a loud "whoosh" I wrapped my arms tightly around her tiny body and rested my cheek on the top of her coconut scented hair (Mmm I do love coconut and chocolate, just like her eyes, focus Finn, focus)

A couple of minutes later I loosen my hold on her because she is hitting my chest and squirming trying to get away. Her breath is coming out in fast pants trying to get back all the air I most probably squeezed out of her. I mentaly slapped myself for again acting like an idiot.

"Finn please explain what is going on, and that kiss… well I'm just confused, d-do you like me?"

I stepped back slightly but not too far that I couldn't reach for Rachel's hand, I took it and lead us in the direction of the school gate, idly wondering when the bell went, but was too lost in my thoughts about the girl next to me.

"Rachel… I um want to say I'm sorry for kissing you before… "I hear a sad sigh and feel a pressure on my hand as Rachel tries to pull away. "I-I mean I'm not sorry I kissed you … 'cause I mean I liked it and I hope you did too, but I mean I'm sorry you thought I did it to make you be quiet. Because, I know we only just met this morning, but I want to know all about you and listen to you talk and sing and just be your friend, but… can we please be friends and I promise not to kiss you again unless you want me to and I will stick to it…" I gave her a hopeful look and formed my mouth into what I hoped was a smile that showed up my dimple, ( Mom always said I could get anything when I was little by just flashing my dimple at her, I was just hoping it still worked, cause I really wanted Rach to say yes).

"Finn Hudson I do declare you are the cutest most charming and chivalrous boy I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and it would be very rude of me to turn down your offer of friendship, so yes I will be your friend, and in regards to the kissing, I'd certainly not be adverse to doing it again but not until we are going steady and like you say we have only just met and are getting to know one another, but if things go as planned, as I fully expect they will then by my birthday in December next year you will be my first sweet 16 kiss. I know it sounds presumptuous of me to assume you will want to be going steady with me but even after the short amount of time we have spent together today Finn, I think… no I know we can be part of something special.

Now as I said before I will tell you all about myself on our walk home… but wait a minute why were you waiting for me instead of in your gym class which is on the other side of the school? You must not skip lessons Finn it looks bad on your record, promise me you won't do it again."

I chuckle at the serious face Rachel has on and the way her hands are clamped on her hips, I stop laughing when she sends me a sharp look and huffs in annoyance poking a tiny finger into my chest pretty hard. I wince at the pain and put my hands up in a motion of defeat and say, "Ok, ok I promise Rach, I will not skip class again."

Pleased with herself Rachel gives me a determined nod and begins to walk off leaving me standing there.

"Rach wait up what's wrong I said I promised…"

"Nothing is wrong Finn I just desire to arrive home before the imminent deluge and I drown in a puddle, you can't afford to get sick either so hurry up I'm sure we have some banana bread or sugar cookies at home still , that I can serve you, if not I will bake some… I like it"

I catch up to Rachel in two long strides. "You like what Rach the rain? But I thought you said… "

Rachel goes all quiet and bites her bottom lip, then after a few seconds, says shyly looking up at me from under her lashes (which I notice are really dark and long) "Rach, I like it when you call me Rach, nobody has ever called me that before."

The biggest grin breaks out over my face as I lean down closer to look Rachel in the eyes and whisper, even though we are alone.

"Well get used to it then because I think I'm gonna be saying it for a long time."

The smile that covers Rach's little face is big and bright enough to outshine the sun. Making my heart start doing callisthenics and banging against my ribcage real hard.

XXXXX

It was late November, me and Rach had spent the last few months getting to know each other properly and even meeting each others family. As a result had become very close and each others best friends, we were not going steady yet, even though I wanted so bad to ask her, I didn't want to scare her off or ruin our friendship.

Every time Rachel was at my house, Mom would just smile at us and sigh holding her hand over her heart. One Friday afternoon when we were working on our history assignment at my house Nana Elisabeth was visiting from Ada, as it was Dad's birthday and Mom was doing a special dinner that evening.

"My, my Finnegan, who is your pretty friend, and are you going to introduce us dear?"

"Hi Nana, yeah of course."

Finn stands up from the table and pulls out a chair for the older lady, after bending down to her level and pressing a kiss on her wrinkled cheek he straightens up and says proudly "Nana this" indicating Rachel with his right hand "is my very best friend Rachel Berry, and Rach, this is my Nana Hudson."

Rachel gets up from her chair and offers her hand for a shake saying politely, "good afternoon Mrs. Hudson it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance on this day of special celebration."

As Rachel is gently shaking her hand, Nana Elisabeth takes a look at her grandson from the corner of her soft brown eye and can't help but notice the tender way Finn is watching his _'friend'_. She knows then that the tiny brunette with the deepest brown eyes and beaming smile is the one for her Finnegan, and thinks she must have a word with Carole and get her thoughts.

"It is lovely to meet you too dear I hope you will be able to stay for dinner? I would love to chat with you later, unless my grandson decides to whisk you away to do some canoodling or necking, or what ever you young people call it these days …" Elisabeth chuckles at the red faces on both teenagers before Finn splutters out.

"N-nana… we aren't g-going s-steady we a-are just f-friends and Mom did invite Rach,"

Rachel clears her throat and mumbles "I think I'll go and see if your Mom needs any assistance in her preparations, it was lovely to meet you. Mrs. Hudson and I look forward to continuing our conversation later in the evening."

She then quickly packs up their books and puts them on the sideboard before sending Finn a soft smile that doesn't go unseen by Elisabeth nor does the lopsided smile and soft look in his amber eyes Finn returns, as he is watching her retreating back disappear through the doorway, her long shiny pony tail swinging from side to side across her slender back with her movements,.

"Finnegan? Come sit and talk to me dear, tell me all about high school, have you been using the journal I gave you? "Finn is shaken from his Rachel induced mind fog at the sound of his Nana's voice.

"Hm?"

Nana Elisabeth smiles knowingly at him and pats the chair Rachel had just seconds ago vacated. "How is school going Finn, are you coping well with your lessons, and have you joined any clubs, I seem to remember your Dad telling me you were thinking about trying out for the football team, how did that go?"

"Um yeah, school is going ok, and um Rach helps me a bit if I get stuck on anything, she even made me a study planner timetable thingy so I can write in when I have assignments or tests due and stuff like that, Mom is real pleased because my grades are going up and I'm mostly working on a solid B in most subjects. Oh and I joined the glee club with Rach, oh man, you should hear her sing Nana she sounds like an angel, I sing a bit but mostly I play the drums, I did dance the other week when we were practicing for a competition, but I tripped over my big feet and nearly flattened Rach,…"

"Oh dear was she alright?"

Finn chuckles a little "Yeah she was cool she got up off the floor, dusted her clothes off, and just said it was alright and that we can keep practicing until I was comfortable with the steps. She is so cool Nana it doesn't matter if I muck it up 50 times, she never yells or gets frustrated with me, or calls me a gangly unco-ordinated idiot, she just encourages me to try again, she has even more patience with me than Mr. Schuester our glee club teacher. I think of her as more than just my best friend but I know we are too young to get real serious but I can't see anyone else in my future except her and well me… is it stupid to think like that?"

He lets out a deep sigh and looks towards the kitchen doorway, for a minute then adds without giving his Nanna a chance to offer an opinion "I'm, really enjoying auto shop too. I did try out for football, and our coach said I was a natural quarterback, it is ok, we haven't played any games yet, only among us we are still working on our team skills, some of the guys just don't want to listen to coach 'cause she is a girl… but I don't know if I want to commit to football, because there is so much pressure, what with all the training and things like parties and the girls chasing you all the time, plus it takes time away from my studies, glee club and my Rach time, but it does look good on college applications, that's what Rach said it's an extra 'cir ric le um' course or something so I'll give it a go this year at least. Also I want to get a job after school or Saturdays to help save for a car and help towards college, and yeah I've written some in the journal, quite a lot actually, I started on the very first day of school and I 'spose I use it every other day or so. It is good to get all the stuff outta my head cause some days there is so much stuff in there I forget who I am."

Elisabeth nods her head causing her graying curls to bounce, as she listens to her grandson who is growing up to be the image of his father Christopher, she smiles at the way he mentions his 'friend 'Rachel every second sentence, and will be very much surprised if the two of them don't get married very soon after high school, or at least engaged, she can see the same look of love in his amber eyes as she remembers seeing in Christopher's when he met Carole at about the same age as Finn is now. She just hopes that the world won't descend into madness again with wars and trouble that takes another Hudson man away from his home and family to fight on the other side of the world.

Meanwhile in the kitchen Carole Hudson is happily listening to Rachel hum along with a song on the radio as she finishes preparing the vegetables to be baked along with the couple of beef joints already cooking and filling the kitchen with a wonderful smell, Carole is putting the finishing touches on a double layer chocolate sponge for dessert.

"I want to thank you Rachel for helping my Finny with his studies and such, I know how much he cares for you and is really trying so hard to do well and now that he has joined your glee club, he is so much happier and I have to admit I'm a little ashamed to say I never realized how talented he actually is singing and playing his drums."

"Oh Mrs. Hudson please don't apologize for anything, and as for helping Finn, I haven't really done anything, he is very smart, but perhaps he just never had the right incentive to do better and aim high … do you know not long after we became friends, I was talking about how I'd like to oneday be a star on Broadway or even a recording artist and how I had always thought I could you know? Even though all through elementary school, and even now in high school, there have been people who have told me I'm not pretty enough or I'm too short or they don't like the way I dress, ect, ect. But I never listened to them. And do you know what Finn said?"

Carole shakes her head, her light brown eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Well he said that he likes the way I dress and how I dream so big, and that it doesn't matter what anyone said I was a star and I had to shine, but Mrs. Hudson I know Finn is extremely talented as well but moreover he is a beautiful person, inside and out. All he needs is the confidence, and to believe in himself the way I do and I'm sure you and Mr. Hudson do. He is so special to me and I'm positive my feelings for him have gone far beyond the bounds of friendship, but …"

The ladies' conversation ceases as both Finn and Mr. Hudson come into the kitchen followed by Nana Elisabeth, Carole discretely wipes her eyes as Chris speaks.

"Carole I'm just taking Finn down to the garage before they close, to get some gas for the lawn mower so we can do the yard work tomorrow ok love? Oh and Mother was talking about a cup of tea."

"Alright dear just don't get sidetracked talking to any old buddies and be late for dinner, being your birthday and all."

While she is talking to her husband she glances at her son and notices the way he and Rachel have moved closer and Finn is trying to be discrete in squeezing Rachel's tiny hand she also doesn't miss his soft look and pout as Chris slaps his son on the shoulder nodding at Rachel on the way out. Or the way Finn looks over his shoulder and sends a tiny wave to Rachel who returns it a wide smile now on her face.

Her own smile grows as she busies her self with the kettle for a pot of tea. Noticing her mother in law didn't miss the exchange between the two young people and by the look on her face is thinking the same thing which is '_just best friends my foot'_

_XXXXX_

18 - December 1955

Today is Rach's 15th birthday and I wanted to get her something special, so I asked my Mom to help me find a necklace or something delicate and pretty like Rach. She said she would and even gave me $3:00 to put towards what I had saved from my paper route job, and my houple of hours a week at Hummel's tire and Lube store. We found the perfect one at the jewelry store, it is a little gold star on a fine link chain. The lady in the store offered to gift wrap it for me but I said I'd do it myself. I am going to give it to her tonight as I have been invited around to her house for dinner. Dad said he would drop me off there as it was too dark and snowing for me to ride my bike, Mrs. Berry said they would bring me home after so my folks didn't have to come out again but it wouldn't be real late.

I was so excited to be going to dinner at the Berry's I got along pretty well with Mr. and Mrs. Berry, though sometimes I think Mr. Hiram was worried I was going to run off with Rach and elope or something, Mrs. Barbra, was just like my mom with the hand over her heart, and deep sighs every time she saw me and Rach together thing. But it was more than just dinner that had me all in a tizzy. I also want to ask Rach to finally be my steady, we have been best friends since school started in September and I can't wait any longer. I'm pretty sure Rach will say yes as she is always saying things like…

"You know nearly everything about me Finny, just like my Teen magazine says a good steady should" and "Can you believe that Molly Johnson has already had three steadies? Finn three and she is only a freshman like us."

Then just yesterday she said "Did you know, that Matilda Becket was asked by two different boys to go to the Christmas sock hop at the YMCA next week Finny, (a big sigh) I do love to dance and I think taking ones shoes off is a bit rebellious don't you think,(a little giggle at the thought of taking her shoes off was breaking a law or something) I wonder if I will be asked by a cute boy…?"

Then she would look at me from under her long dark eyelashes and sigh and pout all dramatic like, just like the lady actors do in all the movies'.

So yeah I reckon Rach will say yes, I was going to ask her to the dance anyway even though I am likely to do her and anyone else in a 5 foot space an injury with my crazy uncoordinated dance moves. I know Rach keeps telling me not to worry and that I am getting better, but I want to get real good at it so I can take Rach to the fancy dances she likes, and to make sure we keep winning our glee club competitions .

"You ready to go son, you don't want to keep your girl waiting now do you?" I hear my Dad yell through my bedroom door, I check myself once more in my mirror and make sure I look spiffy, then pick up the little box and card I got 'specially and walked down stairs grabbing the small bunch of flowers from the kitchen sink as I went. I kissed mom on the cheek when she wished me a good night and said how nice I looked, asking me to wish Rachel a happy birthday and say hi to Mr. and Mrs. Berry for her and thank them for driving me home, and to remember my manners. Before she went back to watching _'People are Funny'_ on NBC

As soon as I rang the door bell Rachel swung it open, I was so happy to see her, even though I'd seen her all day at school, but at home she just looked so much more natural, her soft hair was out and flowing over her shoulders like a cape, and her big brown eyes glistened with happiness, nearly overtaking the big beaming smile lighting up her beautiful face.

"Hi Rach, happy birthday, Mom said to say it too, so I will before I forget… oh and I got you these and this." I give her the bunch of lilies and the little box I wrapped pretty well I think in some pink paper with little gold stars all over it.

Rach squealed with happiness at the parcel and pressed her face into the flowers and took a deep inhale of their perfume, before moving them away from her face and resting one hand on my shoulder leant up on her tippy toes to press a kiss of thanks on my cheek. But I pulled away smiling at her little pout.

"Finn? Why did you pull away? Do you not want me to kiss you? I mean I know it is not yet my 16th birthday but…"

"Aw Rach you know I do but you have some flower stuff on your nose here let me…"

I swiped my forefinger over the tip of her nose, collecting the little dusting of pollen and before she could say anything I pressed my lips against hers. Smiling as we both let out a little moan when our lips touched, I hadn't kissed her on the mouth since the very first day of school and I had been wanting to do it again so bad, it was like magic.

"O-oh my Finny…" Rachel says breathlessly, her breathing heavy and her cheeks blushing an adorable shade of pink.

"That had better mean you will agree to be my steady Rach 'cause I don't want anyone else kissing you like that and I certainly won't be wanting any other girls to kiss me, so will you please Rachel Berry be my girlfriend please?"

"Hmm I don't know, can you promise to always kiss me like that, and let me kiss you and hold your hand in school and when we go out on dates, even though your popular friends think I am a sad geeky square?"

"Rachel Berry how can you think I'd ditch you huh? You and I are going to be part of something special which means Missy… epic FINCHEL."

I take the flowers and present from her little hands and put them on the hall table, before taking both of her hands in mine and leaning down so our eyes were level.

Speaking softly I said "from the first time I saw you Rach, something inside my chest started to feel like it was tugging on something and I hadn't been able to get you out of my head, I've never felt like this about any girl before and yes I know we are only very young still, but I can promise you I want to be your boyfriend for as long as you will let me. Please say you will because I'd really like to kiss you again before your Dad comes in and kicks my butt for molesting his little girl."

Rach is trying to keep a straight face by biting her bottom lip, but before I know what is happening she has pressed her tiny body up against me and her soft pink lips on mine in another toe curling kiss, using her tongue to try and push between my lips, but just I get the hint, she pulls away, and just in time because I hear Mr. Berry say.

"Ah Finn, I thought I heard your voice, good evening, I just came to see what was taking you two so long Barbra is just about to dish up, so do you think you should invite Finn into the house and to the living room where it is warm baby girl, before the poor boy freezes to death Hmm?"

"Umm… yes of course Daddy, sorry we will there momentarily, please tell Mom to continue with the serving of dinner." Mr. Hiram laughs out loud at mine and Rach's red faces but he nods and says with a laugh.

"Of course darling" he slaps me on the back and takes off for the kitchen chuckling to himself.

"Oh man that was embarrassing getting caught kissing by your Dad Rach, maybe we should just go inside and you can show your Mom and Dad the present I got for you, plus I think flowers like water and yours need some." I reached out to pick up the flowers from the stand while Rach picks up her present, smiling shyly at me from under her fringe, before she says.

"Just as long as we can continue with that kissing thing later, because you know Finn that the good girlfriend guide, in chapter 3 said a good girlfriend answers all requests for sweet kisses' from her extremely cute, boyfriend, as well as volunteering some of her own and I very much want to be the best girlfriend I can be, because just like you said how you were wanting to be mine … well the same goes for me now please give me one more kiss so I remember what to do later.

Xxxxx

I won't bore you little book with telling you all about dinner except to say it was delicious,

We had _'Beef Wellington'_ I think it was called but what ever it was the meat cooked inside the pastry, was real yummy, Mrs Berry served it with mashed potatoes, green beans and honeyed carrotts, then for dessert we had dumplings with caramel sauce and ice cream.

I even offered to help with the dishes but Mrs Berry said that I didn't need to this time, as it was Rachel's birthday and therefore a special occasion, and as it was a school night, us young ones could just spend some private time in the den, till it was time to go.

So Rach took my hand and led me to the den clutching her gift in her hand then once we were there she put on a Doris Day record, "for mood music Finny" she said as I was making myself comfy on the sofa. She sat next to me nearly on my lap and opened her present smiling at me the whole time , she struggled in places with the amount of sticky tape I used, and I could see she was trying to not tear the paper. Then once she finally got it unwrapped and opened the little velvet box, she squeeled with happiness and all of a sudden clambered onto my lap and pressed her soft pink lips against mine .

Whispering soft thankyou's inbetween more kisses, she asked me to put it on her neck.

When I could finally catch my breath I said "you are welcome Rach, the minute I saw it in the jewelry store I knew it was perfect for you small and delicate and I know that one day you will be a star it's what do you call it ?... a meloford?"

"Metaphor, it's called a metaphor Finny, and you Mr, are just the best boyfriend I've ever had, and I like you so very much now can we please try that kissing thing again before my Daddy comes to take you home?"

"Oh sure, yeah of course we need to practice lots…, wait just how many boyfriends' have you had Miss Berry hmm?"

"Well let me see, there's Jacob Ben- Israel, he is such a beef cake it really is hard to stay away, there is one other you may have seen him around, he is…"

"W-wait what is he bigger than me?" I know she is only playing, so I play along as well,

Trying to hold back her giggles Rach pulls away and taps her pointer finger on her chin and closing her eyes like she is thinking deeply, and before she can say anything I press my lips on to hers and wrap my arms around her body pulling her closer to me , a growl comes from my throat as I feel her smiling into our kiss. As we separate for air, I speak trying to keep a serious tone to my voice.

"Now about the amount of boyfriends you are allowed to have the number is one and one only, AND that one only is me , do you understand me Miss Berry? Well for as long as you will have me anyway, which for my sake I hope is a very long time, Though I think you better kiss me again just so I understand what I was meaning." I close my eyes and pucker my lips waiting for a kiss. After a couple of seconds I open one eye wondering why she hasn't kissed me yet when I see her just sitting on my lap with tears running slowly down her cheeks. Of course I feel like a real heel for upsetting her, but not knowing what I did I open my mouth and start to apologize .

"Oh man baby I'm sorry did I say somethin'…"

Rach lifts her head and after wiping her eyes says " I've changed my mind Finn I don't like you…"

A loud sad sigh leaves my mouth and I feel my eyes start to get wet, "Oh b-but why Rach you were so happy a minute ago, was I too bossy? I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell you what …"

"Finny, what I meant to say is… I think my feelings of _like_ have turned to love, because, Finn you make me feel like the most special, beautiful girl in the entire world, and I know you always say you don't say the right thing , but baby you always seem to know the exact words to make me fall for you more and more everyday, and everytime I look into my future the only person I can see there with me is you, and I promise to always be here for you and help you in any way I can to make your dreams, whatever they may be come true. But Finn please believe me that I know you can achieve whatever it is you desire, because you are a smart, kind, big hearted, beautiful person and, and … if I don't kiss you again I think Imight just die."

I'm flat out crying now, not even caring if I look like a girl, but my girl, my tiny beautiful girl gently wipes my tears away with her little hands as she gently places a kiss on my mouth for every tear that falls. My voice cracks as I try to tell her that my feelings for her are the same and I have had them for a while, but didn't want to scare her away by telling her. Then all of a sudden I take hold of her shoulders and pull her closer to me so our mouths and bodies are pressed so close together there was no room for anything to get between us, my heart was racing in my chest at the tight feeling as though there was a rope or something attached joining Rach to me and I hoped with everything I had that that special feeling of being tethered to Rach would be there for the rest of my life.

Rach said she felt the same after I explained how I felt and had from pretty much the first time we met. Then for a little while before Mr Berry took me home we just sat snuggled together on the sofa watching the fire light dancing on the ceiling , listening to the record playing and just absorbing the new level of feelings.

*XXXXX* *XXXXX*

A/N: Did it flow well? I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave me your thoughts.

All recognizable characters belong to the glee creators.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: ****Thanks for the great response to this story, Please enjoy Chapter 3 and don't forget to leave me your thoughts**. Welcome to the couple of new followers I hope you stay around for the rest.

Any songs or named brands used belong to their rightful owners. All Glee characters belong to R M and team I'm just borrowing them for a little while. All OC's and any mistakes however do belong to me.

Chapter III

After Rach's birthday dinner last week when we told each other how we felt, our world was perfect.

Things at school in the last few days before Christmas break though, seemed to become really strange, I mean we had always spent all of our free time together and if we had the same classes we sat at the same desk, but now we were a real couple, it was like every girl in the school, (well in freshman year anyway) wanted to be with me and the amount of times I had to say _"No I'm not interested, I am going steady _ _with Rachel Berry and no I'm not going to dump her "_ or throw away the endless amounts of bits of paper covered in telephone numbers, in a day was really starting to bug me. Because I was more than happy with my tiny brunette and had no intentions whatsoever to break up with her. Rach was having her own problems with heaps of guys who had never spoken to her much before were asking her for her telephone number or trying to cop a feel in crowded hallways or on the school bus.

I nearly smacked out that creep Ben- Israel on Tuesday though, for coming on to Rach in the library, when we were there doing research for our history assignment on the Industral Revolution. She had got up from our table to go look for another book, and I was wondering after about 10 minutes what was taking her so long so I got up and just in time too 'cause I heard a male voice say

" You know Miss Berry, the independent polling company in my pants has voted you the hottest girl in this school, and I have the urge to kiss you, ok-ok so I'm just gonna go for it, you were made for me baby, can't you feel that?"

Then he backed her into the shelves and was tryin' to kiss her, and he had his slimy hands all over her and was grinding his skinny hips into hers. Rach was trying to push him off, telling him

"_Get away from me, I don't know how many times I have to tell you I'm not interested in your slobbery attentions Jacob Ben- Israel and as for our coupling being fated, just because we are Jewish, I am telling you, to keep dreaming, but if my BOYFRIEND comes and finds you manhandling me, well let me just say, I'm glad I'm not in your shoes."_

But she wasn't having much effect, trying to get him to back off, due to her tiny size but when he saw me coming he jumped back like a scared rabbit, and ran away. I hugged Rach 'cause she was a bit shaky but it soon turned to anger as she started talking about giving him a piece if her mind and reporting him to Principal Figgins. I told her I'd back her up if she wanted to, but I'd like to have a few words with the kid myself first. Rach pulled out of my arms and told me that if I retaliated by punching that boy I'd get in more trouble than it was worth , and she didn't want me to get a black mark against me on my personal record. So to promise her I would do nothing.

"Ok baby I promise, but if he ever tries anything again, I won't be held responsible for my actions, personal record or no."

Rach kissed me there and then in the library and I couldn't help but get a little _'excited'_ at her rebelous streak, Rach is usually very strict about following the rules . 'Cause the crabby ancient old lady who works here jumps on anybody who so much as makes a noise when they turn the page on a book, for heavens sake so goodness knows what she'd do if she saw us and gropping each other against her precious book shelves. Most probably cut our tongues or other bits off and tack them to her shelves as a warning to others about defiling her library.

The fact we were in glee club together seemed to make a difference too for some reason, I mean our glee club 'The New Directions were pretty cool and we all had a great time, but ever since we won our first sectionals competition, and had given a preformance at a school assembly. The hip kids had started to pick on us, I mean poor Kurt, the other day was chucked into one of the dumpsters, by whom he later told Rach were football jocks and she immediately told me so at training that day I had a word with the guys and told them to leave my glee club friends alone. Not that it made any difference, they just laughed and called me names, and said if I wasn't careful I'd be next and they'd make sure it was the extra smelly trash from the cafeteria. Then Rach told me that rude drawings of her were starting to appear in the girls bathrooms' and how she had been the target of an egg attack on Wednesday when she was walking home alone because I was working at the garage, Tina and Mercedes also said that some of the cheerleaders had started to call them horrible racist names ( I always believe that everyone is special and regardless of your skin color or eye shape, or whatever they deserve to be treated right) and trying to trip them up in the hallways and one purposly dropped her plate of spaghetti and sauce over Tina's head, claiming she 'tripped'.

Then to top it all off Artie who was in a freaking wheelchair, had been kidnapped , his glasses taken away and chucked in a dumpster, he was then covered in frozen red cool-aid slush and left in a small janitors closet for hours out near the bike sheds, and wasn't found till the gardener Mr Thornbush, heard the banging he was making with his chair against the wall. I was getting really pissed at all the crap my friends were getting done to them, so I asked Puck who had always been my best buddy, one day after football training what the hell was going on.

"Puck, why are you ball players and your chicks' picking on my glee mates, huh? It's gotta stop now, cause if my girlfriend gets hurt, _ I'M_ gonna hurt someone"

"Finster, calm down dude, it's your fault ya know for joining the loser queer club, everyone in the cool crowd thinks you've abandoned us to sing and dance around like a freakin' fairy or sumthin' and the only way to get you to see sense is to take it out on your nerdy geeky friends, so if you want it to stop you will ditch them losers and that minature queen of the freak parade and catch the cool train to the right side of town. I know for a fact that Quinn Fabray is keen to get with your QB's ass and be on top of the heap, and as much as that pains me that she turned down the Puckmeister, at least if you're with her, the helm of the good ship popular will be held up"

I stand there stunned at the words coming from his mouth and after a few minutes of trying to understand I shake my head and drop my voice real low trying real hard to contain my temper, so I don't fly off the handle and slug him. But when he gets a sly look on his face and leans in towards me slightly mumbling something about _"the scared look_ _on that wheelchair kids face when we locked him in the closet", _and then has the nerve to start laughing I couldn't take anymore.

"WHAT? Are you telling me the crap that my girlfriend and friends are getting done to them is all because I joined the glee club? And you so called king of the heap kids are making them pay instead of just minding your own freaking business and leaving us alone or being grown up about it and talking to me. Shit Puck that has gotta be the lamest excuse for acting like jerks I've ever heard and as for _your_ dolly Fabray, you can tell her I don't want her or any of your skanky cheerio groupies now or ever, and if she keeps picking on MY Rachel, she will answer to me just the same as all you others who think it's a great joke to pick on my friends. Who by the way are a hell of a lot better people than you and your friends, and as for being a loser, that may be so but for the first time in my life I'm happy, real honest to god happy, with Rachel as my girlfriend and my glee mates and no one is gonna a take that away from me. Furthermore I will not appologise to ANYONE for having a mind of my own, nor will I CHANGE just to suit you. I love glee and I love Rachel Berry and I'm making a choice for me.

Puck is just standing there watching me with a stunned look on his face at the way I'm going off, I get my breath back, scrub my hands over my face ,

"If you lot just tried being yourselves and not who you think you should be, just to be popular, you'd be a damn sight better off and happier in the long run. So you can run back to your _'crowd'_ and tell them that I'm not quitting glee or dumping Rachel Berry, and if you can't accept that then we will no longer be either friends or teammates, 'cause as much as I like being the QB and playing football I don't want to be associated with a bunch of assholes. One more attack on my friends and I'll be going to see coach and taking myself off the team and then you'll find out exactly how cool and with the in crowd at this school you'll be, once the football team stops winning games, 'cause let's face it man without me as QB to hold up your lazy ass's you havent got a team, 'cause the other idiots on the team can't get their stupid heads around the fact a a woman knows more about football than they or any other coach in this town does. There is more to life than image and popularity , it's called being yourself and doing what makes you happy. So I'm telling you Puck, as a buddy and we've been friends since kindergarten, but it stops now."

I spin on my heel towards the locker room to grab my stuff and get to Rach's dance class, my temper is about to explode and the only thing that calms me down is hearing my girl sing. As soon as she sees me Rach knows something is wrong so without saying a word she takes my hand and the minute we are out of the school grounds we walk to her place, still not talking, but just having her close to me, slows my temper and the way she is rubbing her thumb over the top of my hand is soothing. We sit down on the wooden swing which is in a corner of the porch out of the cold wind, and she pulls my head against her breast and starts to run her fingers through my hair, slowing my temper to nearly nothing then she starts to sing in her soft beautiful voice.

"_Love is a many splendored thing_

_It's the April rose_

_That only grows in the early spring_

_Love is natures way of giving_

_A reson to be living_

_The golden crown that makes a man a king_

_Once on a high and windy hill_

_In the morning mist_

_Two lovers kissed _

_And the world stood still_

_Then your fingers touched_

_My silent heart and taught it how to sing_

_Yes true love's _

_A many splendored thing…" _

The whole time she is singing Rach is running her little fingers through my hair, and after a couple of minutes when she can sense I've calmed down, she softly asks.

"Baby what's the matter? Did something happen at football, you're not hurt are you? Finn talk to me please, I don't like to see you so upset."

I lift my head and press my lips against hers, then pull away sending her a small smile as she sucks on her bottom lip her eyes full of concern and love.

"No baby I'm not physically hurt but I am super pissed…" Rach frowns at my curse word " sorry for swearing baby but I'm am just so angry, I had a word with Puckerman today at training…"

"A-and, what did he say?" She has hold of my hand now and is stroking the top of it with her thumb, looking sad and it's almost like she knows what I'm going to say .

"Take your time Finn," Rach leans in slightly and gently kisses me on the mouth, sending her support for whatever is bothering me, she pulls back and looks deep into my eyes, and says, " you know you can tell me anything and I will do what ever I can to help you figure out or fix it."

I just nod and steal another kiss then without losing eye contact I start to tell her about the conversation me and Puck had after training.

"Oh…"

"Babe is that all you can say?, I can't believe that all the gutless attacks and horrible name calling and shit is simply because I joined glee club. It's my life and I want to be a good man and make something of my self when I grow up , not be stuck in this town pumping gas or dealing with a wife and kids I don't want, just because I was too damn lazy to make an effort…

Rach leans up to kiss me again cutting my words off, then cups my cheek in her hand stroking her thumb along my chin and over my lips, her voice reassuring and gentle.

"Finn that will never be you because you are better than all of them, and will show the likes of Noah Puckerman and his followers, that you that you will overcome all of this and at the same time, set a good example and be a leader."

I had to kiss her then because she always knows exactly what to say and when I look deep into her big brown depths, I can feel the honesty and truth behind each and every word.

A few intense minutes is spent with our lips locked together our tongues shyly asking for enterence to each others warm moist mouths tangling in our own private dance, and my hands finding their way around her tiny waist and under her sweater to rub little circles on her silky smooth bare skin. I feel her scramble on to my lap as she tries to get as close as possible, it's like she is wanting to burrow under my skin. She pulls away gasping for air, her face flushed and her lips red and puffy, my own body is reacting in a way that I have gotten used to but I won't force Rach, into anything, I will just have a cold shower when I get home.

Her breathing still a bit ragged she says" Well I think you should let our other glee clubber friends know, what is going on and tell them to just ignore all the negitivity and hateful comments and that it would perhaps be prudent to carry a raincoat at all times, incase of more slush attacks. As well as try to not be alone, you know safety in numbers . Kurt Mercedes, Tina, Artie and my self share pretty much every class except science and history, but those four share those classes, and of course I'm with you. I don't think too many of the other glee clubbers are having many problems it only appears to be the main 5 of Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie and myself that you are the friendliest with. BUT we will not give the so called top of the heap kids the satisfaction of getting under our skin, they have no rights to dictate to you or pressure you into being someone you clearly are not and have no desire to be. But if it hurts your standing with the football team, then we will have to talk to Mr Schuester and Coach Beiste and get some higher intervention."

I'm nodding my head instantly feeling better at the way Rach takes charge of the situation and doesn't seem to let it upset her, it is the opposite she is like an army general taking no prisoners.

"As it is winter break from tomorrow, we will have 2 weeks to get together and try and come up with a solution … no baby that does not mean you are allowed to punch Noah in the face he is your oldest friend."

"But Rachhh, him and his groupies could hurt you, and what sort of friend is he if he can do things like that huh?."

"Baby listen to me please." I look at her beautiful face, her eyes filled with worry for me and how all this nonsense affects me, "I know all this bullying business is upsetting you and after hearing the reasoning behind the delplorable and odious behaviour, I know you think you have to protect all of us and I love you even more for doing that…"

I try to interrupt, but Rach holds her little forefinger over my mouth.

"But baby you have to look out for yourself, and not let them get to you, because you Finn Hudson are a strong, brave, loving, young man, and it is your right to do what you want as long as it is legal and dosen't hurt others in a malicious way. And as far as I can see under no circumstance does singing and dancing or playing drums in a high school glee club in small town Lima Ohio, fall into either of those catagories, so you have to follow your heart, and maybe if you have another talk to Noah, just the two of you in a casual setting, perhaps suggesting a game of ten pin alley, then maybe he will have a change of heart, but if not then well…,

I have to say though if he could forget about his so called tough boy image and decided to join the club it would be of great benefit to all parties concerned, because I happen to know that he has a nice, albeit untrained voice and is rather talented on the guitar."

At my jealous look at where she might of heard Puck singing, she says, "He used to sing at temple, a couple of years ago, although he has obviously forgotten we attended together… I mean our families attended the same temple , there aren't really that many Jewish families in Lima to warrant our own place of worship, besides ours and that disgusting creepy Jacob Ben-Israel's so we used to drive into Dayton."

I sigh deeply and shake my head, "Ok Rach I'll try to talk to him again, but I really don't expect he will come to the party but … Oh and it's bowling babe, not ten pins." I chuckle at her lack of sports' terminology, but you get credit for being a little bit right there are 10 pins and it is played in an alley. I think it's time I took you for an indepth bowling lesson including the part where everytime a strike is hit, kisses have to be exchanged.

I instantly feel much better at her shy smile. She says it's a date and that she can't wait, before jumping up off my lap and taking hold of my hand in one of hers, her other one grabbing the handles of her school bag before trying to tug my large body up and indoors.

" Now hows about we go inside and see if we have any of my famous sugar cookies we can share with a hot chocolate. I'm positive you must be hungry am I right?"

Rach smiles at me before pressing a soft kiss to my lips and whispering in my ear "that everything will work out, so please don't be sad , and don't let it stop me enjoying my life, remember Finny high school is just 4 of your teenage years not the be all and end all of your life.".

At those words I had to kiss her again so I pulled her on to my lap and very nearly kissed the life out of her, puffing out inbetween kisses and trying to take in lungfulls of air, "That I think she is the most special girl in the whole world and every day I love her more, and as long as she keeps loving me and continues to let me love her then I know that everything will turn out ok."

Xxxxx

Christmas 1955

I think this Christmas was one of my favorites not only because of the snow and my Nana Hudson and Nanny and Poppy Mathews (Mom's parents) came for a couple of days, but I got to spend it with Rach. Man I had a blast going to her Church or Temple, it was a bit strange… no, no not strange like weird strange, just interesting and different I guess. 'Cause Jewish people like Rach and her family, don't celebrate Christmas the same we do, they have what is called Hanukkah and it lasts for 8 days, which was in early December they go to their church and say prayers, light candles they put in a special holder called a '_Menorah'_and eat special foods ( I really enjoyed the potato pancakes called _Latkes _and _sufganiot_(Hanukka donuts) as well as the _rugelach_ ( a pastry with different fillings) they even exchange gifts every one of the 8 days, and play a game with a four sided toy like a top called _dreidel, _I had heaps of fun, and was so happy Mr and Mrs Berry let me join in and be part of their special time, and as it was before December 25, Rach was able to spend Christmas Eve and Day with my family.

To help her feel at home Mom had made Rach a pair of pj's with Reindeers and candy canes, printed all over the material, when she came down stairs after changing after dinner on Christmas eve, before we decorated our tree she just looked so dang cute I asked mom to take a couple of photographs , which she did as well as some of us together.

I had decided my Mom is the best one in the whole world 'cause when I woke up Christmas morning at 6am, pretty early for me as I don't like getting up before mid morning when I'm on vacation, and found my stocking on the end of my bed, filled with all sorts of little things, I couldn't wait to show Rach, so after using the bathroom, (thankfully my morning excitement didn't show up). I raced down stairs to the living room , and from the last step I could hear Rach ooh-ing and ahh-ing over what I figured must be her own stocking, Mom must of put out for her too. Rach's happy giggles making me feel extra excited.

I tried to walk quietly without tripping over my big feet into the room, where I saw Rach snuggled up on the sofa under a mountain of blankets digging through her little pink glittery stocking with a fluffy white bit around the top. The smile on her little face was so bright she just looked adorable her beautiful silky hair was in two long braids . When she saw me she quickly threw off her covers and practically bounced over to where I was just leaning on the door frame watching her, my wide smile matching hers.

She jumped into my arms nearly making me drop her and pressed a deep kiss on my mouth, " Of Finny Happy Christmas, at least I think that's the right thing to say is it? it's so wonderful I even got a holiday sock filled with all sorts of lovely things, but I'm a little worried am I supposed to wear it once it is empty or….but there is only one … come see baby,"

She slides down my body then, making me groan when she bumps my 'business', (Darn it, if she does that too many times my morning excitement _will _show up)

I am dragged over to the sofa and as Rach climbs back in under her covers she indicates for me to get in the other end , once we are snugggled in and she has tucked her now cold feet under my calves, making me jump a little , we both put our stockings on the top and start to unpack them. But first I say "Merry Christmas to you too baby, and for future reference they are called stockings babe, not holiday socks and no you don't wear them, they are supposed to keep kiddies busy until their parents wake up. I figured I was too old now, but maybe Mom decided seeing as you were with us this year she would let us have one more year of childhood fun"

Rach starts to giggle again at her silliness and kisses me again thanking me for correcting her , I watch her as she sorts through her stuff . She got a little star shapped bottle of perfume, some pretty lacy handkerchief's, 2 pairs of pink socks with a little star button on the side, some hair ribbons, a couple of little bags of dried friut and nuts and some popcorn and a whole bright red apple as well as a current teen magazine. She was so happy and as she started to munch on the apple, she tried to climb on to my lap to see what I got as I was unpacking my stocking. I got the same food things as Rach, as well as some new boot laces a bottle of aftershave, a compass and a new pen knife, as well as a small tin of new fishing lures and a new Archie comic, some new socks and to my great embarressment some underpants, which I quickly shoved back in the stocking , my face bright red with the fact that Rach had seen them.

We sat there eating our snacks, talking about the sorts of things we do at Christmas, like going to Church and then lunch, then we'd just usually hang out at home relaxing with our families sometimes we'd do a jigsaw or if we got anything to put together as a gift we'd do that and drink hot chocolate or egg nog by the cozy fire, then at dinner time it was usually a sandwich and some soup if we had room left in our belly's from lunch.

I promised her I would take her for a walk around our neighborhood to see how other people decorated their homes, and to see the few houses that had pretty colored lights, then if it wasn't too cold we'd make a snow man in the park. Her parents had gone to Cincinnatti for a little vacation for their wedding anniversary, so Rach was staying with us till the day after boxing day.

"Thankyou Finn for sharing your special day with me, I'm very glad to be here and learning for future reference."

When the adults got up and everyone pitched in to help with the food, Rach was as excited as a kid in a candy store and spent all morning standing next to Mom or Nanna's watching and learning and trying to help as much as she could, then once everything was ready and in the oven cooking I told Mom I was just going to take Rach for a little walk, she said "that was fine but to make sure Rachel dressed warmly as she didn't want her to get a chill, but remember lunch was set for 12:30, so don't lose track of time."

By the time Rach had put on her coat, mittens, scarf , wooly hat, snow boots and some wooly footless sock things on her legs, she called legwarmers there wasn't much of her left to look at. Her face with her big bright shining brown eyes and happy smile, was pretty much all that was visible, which of course meant I just had to kiss her. I took hold of her mittened hand in my large gloved one and guided her down the front path making sure she didn't slip on the ice, Dad had put some salt on it, but the snow was pretty thick. We started towards the corner of Fieldview way and stopped to look at the Shawcross's house at number 515 that had a few colored lights glowing in the front windows' and little brightly painted wooden figures of elves and reindeers all around a bigger Father Christmas one in his bright red sleigh. Rach was giddy with happiness and was doing a little dance on the spot and clapping her hands together in front of her face. We kept moving and saw a few other houses that had decorated the trees in the front yards or put wooden cutouts like the Shawcross's up. After 3o minutes of walking around talking about everything and me saying when I get married and have my own family I want to be able to do the same sort of things like the yard decorations and colored lights, so my kids will love the holiday just like I do. We get back to the park on the corner of mine and Rach's streets so we decide to find a seat and just sit for a while. Then Rach reminds me I promised to make her a snow man, so while I'm rolling up the balls of snow Rach says,

"Finny I'm just going to race home and get a scarf and a few things for Mr Snowman ok? I won't be 5 minutes promise, love you." and off she goes.

I chuckle out loud , my breath escaping in big clouds while I get to work. By the time I have made two balls of snow and put the smaller one on top I'm puffing and sweating a bit despite the cold, wondering where Rach is, 'cause I'm sure it has been way more than 5 minutes, so I forget about the snowman and start to jog through the new falling snow to the path that leads into Starbird Crescent and run a bit faster towards Rach's house. Where I find her sitting on her front stoop her mittened hands covering her face.

"RACH? Baby what happened, did you fall? Are you hurt?"

She lifts her head at my voice and I can see she's been crying so I let out a loud "SHIT" scoop her into my arms and sit in the same spot she was, I brush a couple of loose strands of hair off her face that escaped her hat and put my forefinger under her chin gently pushing her face upwards so I can see her eyes.

In a soft voice I say "can you tell me what happened?

She drops her face into my neck and just whispers so softly that I could hardly hear, "letter" her hand pointing to the floor

I pick up the paper which I can see is words made up from letters cut out from a magazine and stuck on the page it makes me so angry when I read it,

_Man Hands !_

_Queen of the freak patrol leave Finn Hudson alone he doesn't NEED YOU or your stupid little fairy assed club._

_Stop tryin' to drag him down to loserville!Take your geeky ugly weird self away and find someone else to annoy maybe in another country? _

" Rach look at me please"

She shakes her head no and nuzzles her wet face deeper into my neck and tries to bury herself as close as she can into my body, her arms wrapping tightly around my sides. I chuckle at her actions. Despite my anger at the trash I have just read.

I lower my voice "Rach, baby please look at me?" another head shake, but this time I gently take hold of her shoulders and pull her away so I can see her sad little face.

"Babe do you remember what you told me when all this teasing nonsense started hmm?

I don't give her chance to speak I just watch her head nod a little bit,

"Ok then, well I'm going to tell you the same thing, you can't let this crap upset you, because there is no way in hell that I'm going to let you break up with me or leave glee and anyway the idiot who made this got their facts wrong... And as soon as I find out who did this" I pointed to the page, "they are going to pay somehow, even if it is a girl, " A sharp gasp from my lap . I shake my head and rub her arm. "You know I wouldn't ever hit a girl Rach, but I can go and speak to her parents and Principal Figgins, but if I find out it was Puck well that's a different story…, I told him that we would no longer be friends if he carried on with this freakin crap. And I meant it, I know he has been my friend since kindergarten, but I've grown up and found other things and people more important than hanging around the pool hall waiting for some drunk to get me booze, like he does or chaising every dolly that comes with in 2 feet of him. There is only 1 girl I _**NEED **_and want, and if she will have me I hope to be with her for the rest of my life,.

Now come on Miss Berry we have a freezing cold snowman in desperate need of a scarf and hat and just about to get up in a huff and go find one for himself, but try not to worry 'cause at the minute he is pretty 'armless so he can't do anything to help himself but we owe it to him to finish then get home for lunch, my Mom will kill me if you catch a cold."

Rach lets out a little giggle and reaches up to kiss me whispering a soft "Thankyou Finny for putting me straight , and I know I haven't got anything to worry about in regards to you dumping me, but I can't understand why these kids are doing this, surely if they were really your friends they would want you to be happy , I just worry about your spot as Quarterback and the troubles you might have within your team I don't want your chances of getting into a good college on a sports scholarship, lost because of me, I'm not worth it."

I sit back down and level her with a look of disbelief at the words she just spoke, not being able to understand how she could think she wasn't as important to me as my highschool football career, and my anger at the other kids that have caused all this spilled over and I yelled.

"HOW CAN YOU THINK LIKE THAT RACHEL, YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE BESIDES MY PARENTS, AND WITHOUT YOU, MY LIFE WOULD NOT MEAN SHIT, YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN ALL OF THOSE OTHER FUCKING IDIOTS COMBINED."

I stop my rant and look at her immediately feel like a real heel for causing her big brown eyes to leak fat tears.

"I'm sorry baby for yelling … but god Rach, if it weren't for you I'd most probably be failing my classes and be part of the crowd that thows pee balloons at people or nails all their lawn furniture to their roof, not a guy who realised he wasn't ashamed to admit he loved to sing and sorta dance, but more importantly I'd have missed out on finding the one girl who from the first moment I knocked her down in a school hallway , helped me to realise I can be better than small town Lima, and have the love and respect of the most beautiful and talented girl in the whole world. Football is a sport I enjoy and I'm pretty good at it, but it is not my entire life focus, and If I didn't play again it wouldn't bother me… but if I didn't have a tiny brunette brown eyed angel with her animal sweaters and all, in my life that would, because you are so special to me Rach, and I love you so, so much."

Rach is full on crying now and through her tears she says "Finn, I'm sorry, I know you love me… but I suppose I just find it hard to belive sometimes that this is real life and I found a boy who loves me for everything I am and even the things I don't like about my self, and I'm waiting for the dream to end and I wake up, but what I can't fathom is why those kids are being so horrible,… I mean you said that you have never shown those girls any attention that could be mistaken for attraction, and Noah he wasn't always like he is now he used to be sweet and kind, otherwise his parents would tell him off. The world is changing Finn and there is so much anger and hate in it , why can't everyone just get along? But school kids with such nastiness inside them aimed against their fellow students is so wrong on every level."

As she stands up and reaches out a hand to help me, she says

"But you are right we must not let this behaviour sway us from our path in life, you and I are FINCHEL and that means we are endgame so I will just accept the fact that those kids are simply jealous and too caught up in their own ideas and forget about them, because in the end love is what gets a person through both the good and bad times. Now I seem to remember something about a neglected and naked snowman in desperate need of clothing, so hows about we finish our task and get home so I can assist your Mom and Nana's with the remaining lunch preparations?"

xxxxx

A couple of days after Christmas and before school went back Rach called our New Directions team mates on the telephone, to organise a get together to discuss what to do about the teasing and bullying at school, I was hopeful that it would have all gone away over winter break, but like Rach said "we need to have a contingency plan babe." I was so thankful I'd brought a dictionary, I could follow along pretty well with the big words Rach said now.

We agreed to meet at the Lima Bowl-a-Rama Tuesday afternoon at 1:30. I thought it would also be a good time to teach Rach how to bowl, so I made sure to tell her "to wear some thick socks and plenty of lip shine as her lips were going to get plenty of action due to the amount of strikes I was going to get and as per the FC-Hudson rule book, ALL strikes must be rewarded with a kiss for the strike -e from their super hot girlfriend."

Rach giggled then kissed me, and said "you are pretty sure of yourself mister, I'll have you know I've read the bowling for beginners rule book and I reckon I have a very good understanding of the game and how to play, so you might be the one owing _me_ all the kisses."

Another loud giggle and I couldn't help but grab her around the waist and start to tickle her till Mrs Berry came into the living room to find out what all the squealing was about.

I picked Rach up from her house at 1PM, it was only a 15 minute walk to the alley but she wanted to arrive a bit earlier, we didn't talk that much on the way because it was pretty cold and we were covered in coats and scarves so talking was a bit difficult. But we held hands the whole time swinging our arms a little as we went, we arrived at the alley and were grateful to be in the warm , we went to the desk and got our shoes , I said hi to a couple of guys I knew from school, like Mike Chang and Sam Evans, they were cool in a good way, and didn't take part in the crap that was going down against the gleeks, I was hoping they would join too but Sam was only new to town and was just finding himself I guess, plus he was on the football team and was my backup QB, Mike was always pretty busy helping in his parents restaurant, and didn't have a lot of free time after school , but it was good to see him having some fun for a change. While we were waiting for the dude to find a tiny pair of shoes for Rach we could hear Mercedes and Kurt arguing over clothes, Mercedes's steady Shane was just sitting there talking to Blaine,( Blaine joined The New Directions a couple of weeks after term started when he transferred to McKinley from Dalton Academy over in Dayton) Artie and Tina about a movie or something he'd seen recently.

"…Mercy, you know that houndstooth scarf would look so much better if you teamed it with a plain black or white sweater but I do like your choice of the poodle applique on your skirt …. Oh hi you two ." Kurt says as he greets us by giving Rach a sort of kiss on both cheeks but he doesn't touch her skin, more like the air next to her, I think it is funny watching them smack their lips with a loud "MWAH" sound , when I said something to Rach about how weird it looked and what was wrong with a proper kiss she said

"It is called 'air kissing ' very popular with the hollywood and Broadway elite baby and as Kurt has dreams of gracing either the fashion houses or the stage in New York or the movie lots of Hollywood , he is just practicing. But don't worry I very much prefer to kss you in the normal everyday American way.

Kurt laughs at the relieved look on my face. He then pats me on the shoulder. "Never mind Finn I'll just shake your hand, I can tell you aren't versed in the ways of the stage, now lets get the ball rolling HA,HA"

Everyone groaned at his bad pun but happily got themselves sorted , we decided to make two teams me and Rach, Mercedes and Shane against Artie and Tina, Kurt and Blaine. Even though Artie was in a wheel chair and had to use a ramp he was pretty darn good at bowling.

Kurt and Blaine had got very _'close'_ I had figured out pretty early on that Kurt _wasn't interested_ in girls' but I didn't care as long as he was happy that's what was important, I tried to protect him and Blaine from the bullies , but I wasn't always able to stop them getting chucked in the dumpsters or egged. But he was like Rach and as much at it hurt he shrugged his shoulders and just said that the bullies would one day be the ones pumping his gas while he made it out of Lima and became a well known personality in the fashion or entertainment business.

Our afternoon bowling session started out with more laughing and good natured ribbing than actual bowling, but once we were organised with our balls, ( I found Rach a little pink one, that I knew wouldn't be too heavy for her) We got started,there was more giggling from the girls when Mercedes went first and straight away threw a gutter ball, but on her next shot she did hit 3 pins. Shane gave her a kiss on the lips as a reward , I have a suspision that Rach told her about the kissing rule. Shane went next and got a strike with his turn then it was Artie who also got one , Kurt spent more time worrying that his shoes didn't match his outfit but was pretty happy with his 5 then 8 pin knock down.

When it came to Rach, I helped her a little telling her where to stand and how to hold the ball, properly and once she was ready she just flung it down the lane and pouted when it went into the gutter, she came and sat next to me pouting deeply while she waited for her ball to come back, and I felt sorry for her so I leant over and gave her a quick peck on the lips as encouragement, that she could get a strike. She asked me again to show her how to do it so I stood right behind her groaning when she pressed her butt against Finn jr, put one hand on her hip and once she had her fingers in the holes I put my hand over hers and sort of guided her arm in the propper way, then whispered in her ear that she could do it and left her to it, watching from my seat at the way she did a little skip/dance sort of thing on her spot (man did her butt look good in her tight pants) before she got a little run up and threw the ball down the lane, I jumped up and stood behind her watching as the ball sailed down the lane in a direct line for the center of the pins. Then all of a sudden a loud squeal as all 10 pins went crashing in all directions and she spun around and jumped into my arms making me stagger at her sudden move and pressed her lips against mine. I was chuckling against her lips as I '_congratulated '_ her , then carried her back to our table while the others had their turns, sortta forgetting we were in mixed company and in public when after a few minutes a deep "AHEM" forced us apart as Shane asked if we were "still playing or forfieting."

Once we had all finished it turned out that the scores were pretty much level, as the guys had been helping the girls so we all congratulated each other, before getting some food an discussing the reason we were there for.

xxxxx

We had a big glee competition , Regionals to prepare for when we got back to school. Mr Schue was pretty excited about it and had picked some good songs for us to do, he said the theme this year was love songs as the competition was a week before Valentines Day. Everyone had agreed to stay close in school and after speaking to Mr Schue about the troubles we were having he said we could spend our lunch break in the chior room if we wanted, we all thanked him but decided it was too much like running away but decided if we had any trouble we would. Apparently he had spoken to Coach Beiste and at the first sign of any bad behaviour against any of us, the kids causing it would be given a warning, Coach told me she would make them do extra wind spints in full kit so they would be too darn tired to cause too much trouble.

Life went on and before long it was just about the end of freshman year, what a year when I think back to September and I was just starting my high school career I thank the stars above for all the good things that came from it, number 1 of course is Rach , 1st time sectionals comp, winning team, we lost our regionals, on a technicality 'cause coach Sylvester was a judge for some reason and she has always had it in for Mr Schue and glee, but we know that next year we will win and hopefully go all the way to nationals, but even if we don't win we all have a great time and have made some good friends.

I'm now looking forward to the summer and spending as much time as I can with Rach and my real friends, it makes me sad that I haven't had much to do with Puck this year, when before we started high school we were best friends, but I guess that is a part of growing up , I still wish sometimes he would just forget about being a tough bad boy and be himself , he would be assest to glee and I'd like to keep him as a friend but I'm not letting Rach go as she makes me feel complete and neither am I going to stop with glee, Music is food for the soul (or so Rach says, I still don't get the connections between food and school subjects) I just know it makes me feel good inside, even when I've had a crappy day at the tire shop or school has kicked my butt.

XXXXX * XXXXX *XXXXX

**A/N: Please read and review, I really do love to read your thoughts and opinions. I know I've made Rachel super excited/ childishly innocent over Christmas but, I thought it added to the innocence of the 1950's.**

**cab4five**

Love is a many splendid thing: Lyrics by PW Webster – Music by S Fain - this version by the (The Four Aces 1955)


	4. Chapter 4

_My heart is an open book_

_A/N: Again thanks for the support, please enjoy chapter 4. As always, I own nothing but the plot and OC's. All recognisable glee characters belong to their creators, as does any music/movies or named brand products mentioned._

_Chapter __IV_

August-1956

Hey journal, I thought I should let you know why I haven't been writing in you for a while… though I reckon I'll have to get a friend for you as you are nearly full…, man I wrote a lot didn't I? I can't promise to write in you every day or even week this year but I will as much as I can OK?

Anyway I have been busy, and now I'm about to be a sophomore, I guess I'll get even busier. But, for now, I'll tell you what's been happening since… WOW! May, man time really does fly. Ok well for a start since I turned 16 I am allowed to have a drivers licence, (thank goodness I didn't hit any mail-men while I was taking my test, like I did when my dad took me for lessons after I got my permit, it was so scary). But don't worry he is ok, just now he makes sure I'm nowhere in sight when he comes to our street, he crosses quickly if we have any mail, I guess he is still a bit nervous and not taking any chances.

But something good did sorta come from that episode … like when Rach and me are making out and things get a little too um hot you know '_down there'_ … well I think of the day in the car and my '_excitement'_ goes away. The first time that happened to me while we were making out, poor Rach thought she was doing something wrong and had hurt me. I felt so bad when her little face got all sad and pouty. Then I explained to her about my little problem, (well without bragging little Finn isn't that little, not that I go around checking other guys' junk you understand, but coach did have to get a specially made jock strap).

Man, it was embarrassing to tell my girlfriend that, but she was so cool about it and just said

"Never mind Finny we will have to look for ways to help you."

Now where were we? Oh yeah driving, I don't have my own car yet but dad lets me borrow his on Saturday nights so I can take Rach out on dates like to the drive in or to the lake or town dances. But I have to wash it and pay for my own gas; I thought that was pretty fair 'cause gas is pretty expensive at about 22 cents a gallon. So obviously, I don't use it much and I am saving as much money as I can to buy my own.

It was so cool last week we went to the drive in and saw, Around the world in 80 days- with David _Niven and Shirley MacLaine. _It was the bomb!

I wondered when I picked Rach up why she had such a large purse with her, but once we were organised in our bay at the drive-in and I attached the speaker to the window, making sure it wasn't too loud on her side of the car. (Earning a kiss for being so considerate), Rach dug into the bag and brought out a bag of potato chips and some of my favourite gummy bears, and butter-finger candy, as well a package of PB an' J sandwiches. I asked her why she brought all that stuff instead of grabbing it at the concession stand.

She said, "She didn't want me to spend all my hard earned wages on food when it is much cheaper to bring your own, and I think it is only fair to share our expenses especially at the movies. I know how hard you are working to save for your own car and college, so I want to help out when I can baby."

Then I surprised her by pulling out a packet of _Hershey's mint chocolate drops, _which as it turns out are her favourite, and earned me a mini make out session (score Hudson). Anyway, we made our selves comfy, Rach was leaning against my side and I had my arm wrapped around her shoulders, my fingers playing with the end of her ponytail. We watched a Tom and Jerry cartoon first then there was a _Fox movie-tone newsreel. _

It was all about the happenings in the world, like the Olympics in Melbourne Australia, the trouble in the Suez Canal and the rationing of petrol in England_. _As well as entertainment and sports news, there is a 16-year-old kid in Brazil called Pele`, who joined the Santos soccer team and is magic on the field. Also how teenagers the world over have been struck with the new rock and roll dance craze. They also showed a 21-year-old guy called _Elvis Presley,_ on stage singing a song called _Heartbreak Hotel_. The song its self was pretty good but I was a bit jealous of the way Rach was swooning and fanning her face with her hands at the guy's hip wiggling and thrusting of his _'business' _at the camera.

When I said he looked like a show off, Rach slapped me on the arm and said after sighing all romantic like; "Oh hush Finn, Elvis is a real dreamboat" (sigh)

I huffed and pouted at that and muttered under my breath "more like Elvis the Pelvis"

"Did you say something baby?" Rach asks never taking her big brown eyes off the screen.

"Ah… no, nothing important Rach." She nods and presses her lips against my bicep still looking at the _'pelvis'_

I was happy when that bit finished and I had ALL of my girlfriends' attention again, then sport news came on.

It was about how the New York Giants moved to a new home ground and due in part to running back Frank Gifford and linebacker Sam Huff won their fourth NFL championship.

There was also a segment on, #5 Paul Hornung, of Notre Dame, who won the Heisman Memorial Trophy, that was the best bit, and gave me a good feeling in my gut. 'Cause I was #5 and a pretty good QB at school and maybe if I worked even harder, I could win it someday… though with our team of idiots it would take a hell of a lot of hard work but I can dream I guess...

I wasn't sure if I was going to try out for the team again this year, some of the crap had stopped at school but I was pretty busy with working and I wanted to do well in my studies, so yeah…

There was also a bit about the Baseball World Series contenders, the New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers.

There was a short intermission afterwards, Rach said she needed to use the bathroom and I decided to get a soda for when the proper movie came on. I climbed out and ran around to open her door earning another kiss from my girl "for being so chivalrous Finn". I was smiling goofily as we walked hand in hand to the concession stand and while Rach ran into to the bathroom I went to the counter and ordered an extra large cola, for me, and a medium 7-Up for Rach. I moved to the porch while I was waiting saying hello to Sam who was there with his new steady Veronica and stopped to talk to him for a bit. Rach came back and spoke to them for a few minutes, then as we walked back to the car chatting about all sorts of things, her little hand in my large one every now and then she would bump her nose into my bicep and sort of press a little kiss there.

The movie finally started and it was great, I had to laugh about three quarters of the way through Rach was curled up against my side her face snuggled into my chest, making cute little noises that told me she was fast asleep. I reached for the blanket on the back seat and spread it out over her. As it had turned a bit chilly, I pressed a soft kiss on the top of her head enjoying the feeling of her body pressed against mine. Then watched the rest of the movie, she woke up just as I was pulling into her driveway and after saying our _'goodnights'_ I waited on the front porch, till I saw her front door close behind her and made my way home.

XXXXX

The rest of summer went by fast probably because I was working nearly every day at _Hummel tires' and lube_, Mr Hummel was great he had showed me last year how to do oil changes on the cars and now was letting me do them and basic tune ups all by myself. He also taught me pretty much all there was to know about engines and how to tell by sound if something was wrong. I went home covered in grease and muck, most days but was having a great time and learning heaps, and I was earning a pretty good wage for a kid.

If Rach wasn't busy helping her Mom, with the cooking and house chores or at her summer job at the Lima bean café she would meet me for lunch and we'd spend it eating our sandwiches in the town park feeling very grown up. I loved those days 'cause Rach always made me a special treat like brownies or apple pie or like last week she brought a picnic basket with cold chicken and potato salad and fresh bread rolls, as well as a big piece of lemon meringue pie. I gotta hand it to my girl she sure does know how to cook and what I like.

XXXXX

School started as normal, and being a sophomore, it meant I would be extra busy. But I didn't care because I would be spending my time with Rach… and speaking of the tiny brunette, that makes my heart do flip flops in my chest at the smallest mention of her. There she was walking towards me a beaming smile on her face, rugged up in her woolly hat and scarf and warm coat over her skirt and tights, wrapped up snugly against the cold wind, I couldn't believe how cold it had suddenly got, I mean I know it's fall and all but usually it isn't this cold.

"Hi Rach, oh baby, come here you look frozen … come and let your Finny keep you warm until the bus comes."

She giggles into my chest as I wrap my arms around her, and hers go around my waist squeezing tightly I feel her press a kiss against my jacket, which I return by one on the top of her head.

Thankfully, the bus comes soon and we climb on, taking our regular seat a couple of rows behind Mr Spears the driver. I fist bumped Mike and Sam and nodded to another couple of guys. I saw Puck sitting in the back corner; we made eye contact, but not being sure, what his mood was I just sort of jerked my head in his direction. Which earned me a shoulder shrug then his eyes moved up and down Rach's body and he lifted his cheek in to a sort of sly smirk, and I quickly guided Rach into the seat on the window side. I didn't need him gawking at her like that, I know she and I were solid but I wasn't taking any chances.

I started to talk about our class timetables and how I was glad we had the same lunch break again. This year I had also picked up an extra class in first aid and sports medicine, coach Beiste and our school nurse, were running them, so I was looking forward to that, plus having a nurse for a Mom give me a bit more of an edge.

The bus pulled into and stopped in the schoolyard and we stood waiting for the aisle to clear, then just as we step off the bus, we hear

"Finster, Berry, y'all set for another year filled with fairy-assed prancing and screeching in your lame gleeky club till our ears bleed? HA, HA… Ya know Huddy it's still not too late to switch to the cool side." He says tugging up the collar of his leather jacket, and running a comb through his ridiculous new hairstyle that has two big curls either side of a centre part that fall onto his forehead, called a jellyroll, or somethin' I smirked to myself at how silly he looked. I was just to open my mouth in response when my girl stood tall (what? five feet three is a scary sight when she is cross)

"Good Golly, if your lovely Mother could see the way you are behaving Noah Puckerman, she would be sorely disappointed, you certainly are not setting a very good example for little Joanie are you? (Joanie is Puck's little sister who is in the 8th grade now). Now if you have finished with your asinine and pseudo tough boy nonsense. Please excuse us as Finn and I have learning to do. Oh and by the way Noah, _YOU _are obviously in the wrong club if all you are doing is prancing around like a fairy that sounds more like the ballet… Hmm, maybe you have been practising for 'A Midsummer night's dream' I do believe there is a character called Puck in that wonderful play by Mr Shakespeare, who dances around in tights. Though I still think you are more than talented enough for glee club, and would be a positive benefit to both our wonderful club, your own personal growth and piece of mind, but oh well... Have a good day and don't get tangled in your tights." She then sends him a big bright smile and a little wave.

I smile at the livid look on his face when he glares at Rach, his hand curls into a fist but when I step in front of him and stand up to my full six feet three and a half inches, a good six inches taller than his five foot 8, and stare him down, he backs off. However, I did notice the thoughtful look on his face when Rach said he was talented.

As we walked away, I stole a glance at him over my shoulder as he just stood there looking at Rach, with a frown on his face then he shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head before turning towards the gym. I hoped that one day soon he would figure out that he didn't need to carry on the way he was, but like Rach said until he realised he was the one missing out on being the best person he could be and who I knew deep down he was, I guess I would continue to miss my friend.

The first couple of weeks went along as normal glee club gained another couple of members in Sam Evans and Mike Chang, Mr Schue was happy as the more members the better our set lists and dance numbers would be and to everyone's surprise at our first meeting Mike showed us all how good a dancer he is.

I was really enjoying my first aid classes they weren't a full semester course but the sports medicine one was. I practised on Rach at home sometimes with the slings and bandages, Mom said I was doing very well, just try to remember not to wrap too tightly that the blood flow is restricted, especially with a broken leg or arm, just tight enough to keep the limb immobile against the splint. Otherwise, it could cause more problems later on. It was a bit difficult trying to practice padding and bandaging the obviously pretend stabbing or gunshot wound just under Rach's ribs. 'Cause every time I touched her sides she started to giggle,

"O-oohhh F-finny stop it tickles"

She'd just collapse in fits of the giggles and squirm around that much that it was impossible then I would kiss her to calm her down and that would lead to a pretty hot make out. In the end I made a _'person'_ out of my bed pillow and some spare clothes and used that instead, even though it wasn't nearly as much fun and I couldn't kiss the pillow to make it be quiet, that was just weird.

I had decided to stick with football because I did enjoy it and it made sense if I was learning about sports injuries, and it was another plus on my portfolio for next year when we start looking at college applications. So, at try-outs, I put my hand up for QB, and got the spot, Sam was again my backup, Puck was wide receiver, and Shane (Mercedes steady) was a linebacker.

I didn't see a lot of Puck at school besides football training, and when I did he just sorta, looked at me briefly or kept his eyes on the ground. I tried to figure out what is problem was but with everything going on in my life I 'spose we were just growing apart.

At training, coach was all excited about the divisional championship game that was coming up but she was still havin' trouble convincing some of the guys' that she did know exactly what she was talking about. She had us all take a knee in a line, and said as she paced along in front of us,

"Guys' you have got to find a way to come together or we're gonna get our asses kicked from here until Tuesday finds a saddleback full of buckwheat"

I still had trouble understanding what she said, but I did figure out that she was trying to say that whatever problems the guys' were havin had to be left off the field. Practice went along as well as could be expected; Puck was working hard, and was in the exact spot to catch the ball every time it left my hand. We still hadn't talked much but he had at least stopped with his bullying, and crap, as had most of the other idiots. Only the jacket wearing, Fabray, and her cronies, Lopez and Pierce, were still being bitches, with their dirty pictures and hateful comments. However, from what Rach and the other glee girls' said, it was mostly all Fabray.

She had joined the cheerleading squad and now that she was on the field and could prance about all the time, dressed in her little skirt and tight top teasing all the boys she thought she was the best, I ignored her as much as possible.

But every time our paths crossed on the way on or off the field. She'd wrap her arms around mine and say things like…

"Oh Finni-babe, you looked so good out there I can see your muscles bulging" then slide her hands over my chest or butt or "You can take me to the drive in and we can not watch the movie" (wink, wink) "you are my perfect prom king, we would be shoe-ins, with me as queen naturally. The best looking couple there" she leans up to kiss my shoulder pad "that's if you can get rid of your pet hobbit long enough to spend time with a popular pretty girl lik…"

When she started on Rach I exploded, I pulled my arm out of hers and stepped back. Coach and the other guys' wondering what was going on, I noticed Puck had moved up closer to me as though he was ready to thump someone or something.

My voice turns as hard as steel

"Get away from me, I will tell you for the last time FABRAY, I want nothing to do with you, do you hear me? Rachel is my girlfriend and she is the only girl I will be with, so get the message and leave her and me ALONE, or I will be paying a visit to your parents and telling them just what sort of nasty, bully you really are."

I take a deep breath and notice her playing with the cross around her neck, her face taking on a look that said she didn't care.

"Not the good little Christian girl you pretend to be, don't think that just because you wear that cross around your neck it makes you perfect, 'cause you are far from it."

She is just glaring at me with slitted, angry green eyes, and her lips in a thin line. Arms crossed and one hand tapping in anger on her forearm but I don't give her a chance to speak.

"Now we are done here so don't ever talk to _my girlfriend_ Rachel Berry or me again, and leave my glee friends alone while you're at it. Maybe if you tried to be nicer more people would … you know what forget it until you like you for you don't expect other people to. There is more to life than image and popularity, so think about it or don't I don't care!"

I stormed off before I hit something, but before I walked into the gym I did hear Puck say,

"You'd better listen to him doll, he's never gonna leave Berry for you or anyone else, so get that through your little blonde pony tail, you are just wastin' your time and makin' yourself look stupid, but he's right there is more to life than bein' on top, maybe you should try it…"

Then before he could turn around his left cheek, is slapped so hard by the fuming blonde, the action leaving a red hand print on his face. The sound echoed across the field. Followed by the words "Screw you Puckerman, he will want me, I can be prom queen with him by my side and I'm so much better and prettier than that freaky hobbit"

Puck staggered back momentarily then shook his head and said in a hard voice, "And that is why he will never like or want you, oh an' just for future reference doll, I'll be looking out for him and Berry, from now on so watch your step."

"What are you talking about Puckerman you are one of first ones to mess with Berry and her team of off key prancing fairies, don't tell me she has turned you soft or maybe she put out for you… jeez, you are just desperate to go for that…"

Puck stares at the beautiful blonde girl in front of him, and wonders to him self why he ever thought she was nice, sure is a real dish on the surface but deep down she is nothin' but a hard cold bitch, god help the fool who ever gets tied up with her. He shakes his head again and opens his mouth to speak his words leaving his mouth in a harsh tone.

"Ya know doll I always thought we could be good together two hot good lookin' folks, but in a way I'm real glad you turned me down last year 'cause now I know we would never have lasted more than 5 minutes, we are just too different."But my man Huddy was right, image and popularity don't mean shit, we are in high school for shits sake and in 2 freakin' years we will be out in the big wide world and no one, is gonna give a damn if you won a toy crown at a school dance, or were the top cheerleader or what.

So I'm a gunna take a branch or whatever out the same book as Finn and do sumthin' for me, I'm tired of being a Lima loser waitin' to happen I wanna be someone. Have a nice life Quinny"

Puck walked off towards the locker rooms, hoping that now he has decided to be a man he and Finn can get their friendship back on track, 10 years of being friends has to mean something. He meant every word about standing up for Rachel and the other glee kids, and he would do what he could to keep her safe, Finn had always sorta been his idol, and now more than ever, he was the leader, the QB, and his best buddy.

XXXXX

I tried to help Coach as much as I could, seeing as I am the QB and captain to get the guys together, and over the weeks before the game, only a few dicks like Azimo, Jefferson and Greenburg were left, who still weren't getting on board, and then at training a week before the game. Coach threatened to kick them off the team and make them join either the glee club or drama/dance club.

"Y'all can't do that and there no way in hell am I gonna join in with a pansy assed group of outa tune losers, that's Hudson's thing" Azimo spits out. Then turns his face away from the front and towards Matt who is next to me, mumbling, "damn women don't know nuthin'"

I feel Matt put his hand on my arm and shake his head, to stop me from laying into Azimo

"Hey, Hey, hold ya tail there Adams, I run the S.S Kick-ass, not the S.S Backtalk, so if you wanna continue play ball on _my_ team you'd better watch your tone mister! 'Cause you crap on my leg, I'll cut it off!" Coach says glaring at him.

I was laughing inside at coaches words, and was still chuckling when she told us to "Git goin' and show me some laps, till I tell ya to stop first one to drop has'ta clean the gym with a single Q tip."

Half way around my second lap, I notice Puck come up on my right side. His voice sorta soft and nervous like, "Hey Finn, um… how's it goin'? Man coach sure doesn't take no crap does she?"

I send him a half smile (that Rach always says shows off my super cute dimple) and nod my head, then in-between taking in air say "Good, yeah it's about time some of those idiots' got brought into line, but I don't want them assholes in our glee club to spoil it... Anyway can't talk now, maybe I'll catch up with you later man, I gotta focus on my breathing." I nod at him and start to sing

"_Love me tender,  
love me sweet,  
never let me go.  
You have made my life complete,  
and I love you so._

_Love me tender,  
love me true,  
all my dreams fulfilled.  
For my darlin' I love you,  
and I always will…"_

As we are running I notice Puck watching me with an interested but wary look on his face. And think that maybe we can talk later, maybe ask him to go bowling or something when Rach has late dance class. I just continue running at a gentle pace controlling my breathing and singing just like Rach taught me and it is so much better now I don't collapse in an out of breath heap, I have to laugh to my self when I pass Azimo and a couple of his buddies panting in an untidy jumbled mess of arms and legs and pads, on the grass near the goal posts after only 3 laps. Coach calls us all in then and as I pass her she slaps me on the back and sends me a wink, saying softly, "I think we won punkin' should be a cake walk from here on in."

Then a bit louder "Azimo, Jefferson, Greenburg, when you saps are done with ya belly-achin', my gym 5 minutes I'll have your Q-tips waiting boys, so don't be late. I think the science dept were having their science fair in there today, so it's probably got muck from all them crazy experiments… oh man I do love watching those vinegar and baking soda volcano's explode everywhere, it's like a hung-over hogs' breakfast." She laughs out loud and rubs her hands together in pretend excitement as she heads towards her office.

I can't wait to tell Rach what happened. I am still chuckling as I head to the locker room for a shower.

XXXXX

I was pretty nervous about the big game on Friday, I had heard a rumor that some college scouts where gonna be watching. I know I was only a sophomore, and they wouldn't be looking at me but a couple of the other guys were seniors, they played defense and were real good, so I wanted the game to go well for them.

I noticed when my team ran out on to the field that the stage was set up in front of the bleachers, once our guys were in position, standing in a straight line, opposite the other team from Fordam High over in Dayton. Principal Figgins stands up and starts to speak. Blowing and tapping on the microphone a couple of times, causing the feedback to squeal through the speakers and make the crowd cringe.

"Testing, testing… good evening everyone and welcome to McKinley High School, and the divisional championship game. However, before we get the game started we have a special treat for you all… If Mr. Schuster could please gather your students and assemble on the stage we will start tonight's proceedings with something special, take it away New Directions."

A loud round of applause and just as much whistling and a few nasty comments followed the glee kids up the stage steps. Where I saw Rach take hold of the microphone, looking across the ground until our eyes met and I pressed my three middle fingers to my lips then against my heart before holding them up and pointing them in her direction.

I was deaf to the sounds of the crowd once her beautiful voice flowed over me like a silk sheet. Even if she was only singing the national anthem I didn't care, I was in a trance

"…_Conquer we must, when our cause it is just_

_And this be our motto: In God is our trust,_

_And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave,_

_O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave…!_

As the last note found its way into my brain, I couldn't help but leave the line up and race over to the stage jumping up and grabbing Rach around the waist lifting her up so our faces were level and slamming my lips against hers.

Once we pulled apart I whispered "I love you baby" then immediately took off back to the field earning a slap on the back and a beaming grin from coach as I passed her the words "Go get 'em QB, do me proud son."

It was a hard game, and by late in the fourth quarter, the scores were level, it had been that way all game every time we scored a touchdown, the guys' from Fordam, would match us. I was getting frustrated with the way we just couldn't seem to get a break, we were also a couple of guys down through injury, so the result of the game rested on my shoulders. I looked up into the stands to see my parents and all my glee friends, but the sight that gave me the will to win more than anything else was my tiny Rach standing up wearing a sweatshirt with the words 'TEAM FINN' underneath five gold stars, across her chest. To avoid being sacked by the opposition defense, I made an impromptu move once I had the ball in my hand; I just took off for the end zone. With my head down and my shoulders squared, I ran and when I saw the goal line I threw myself over it about half a second before the final siren.,

The noise from the crowd was deafening, and my back was getting quite sore from the amount of slaps from my teammates. When I made it to the sidelines where coach was standing, big fat tears streaming unchecked down her face. She just lifted me up and bounced me up and down, it can't have been an easy feat I mean I am as tall as she is and only about 10 pounds lighter.

"Thank you Finn, one day I know I will see you in the NFL that was a fantastic bit of play. Now git outta here I think there is someone who wants to congratulate you punkin…"

I look to where she is indicating with her chin and through the grill of my helmet, I see my girl. Her little face beaming with pride, I rip my helmet off as I make my way towards her, cringing a little as I pass the huddle of cheerleaders, I could hear giggling and fawning all over the guys on the way to the showers. My eyes never leaving Rachel's, all my senses focused on her, I was a couple of feet away from Rach when all of a sudden I felt arms clamp around my neck and a pair of cold hard lips slam against mine, taking my breath away.

Rach's loud gasp and angry face was suddenly right next to me as she gripped the back of her uniform and pulled the blonde girl who was attacking me off, and in the struggle, she landed on the cold damp turf. Her cheerleader uniformed clad butt finding a puddle of mud.

"Get away from my boyfriend Fabray, or so help me you will…"

"Get lost hobbit Finn belongs with me not an ugly freak like yo…"

I reached for Rach and pulled her into my sweaty chest whispering into her hair that I was ok and not to worry, she knew it meant nothing on my part. Quinn had by this time got off the ground and was coming for Rach. My girl had lifted her face and was glaring at the cheerleader, who in a flash swung her arm, so her open hand connected with Rach's cheek, the force knocking her back into my chest. I was ready to take her down myself but I couldn't hit her or any girl, so instead I yelled, my voice like thunder, I had to squeeze Rach tighter 'cause I think I scared her a bit. "WHAT THE HELL… HOW DARE YOU HIT MY GIRL, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Rach pulled away from me and turned to face Quinn opening her mouth to say something, when Quinn again raised her arm this time her hand formed into a fist intended for Rachel. However, this time Puck caught her arm and pulled her away from us.

In a hiss he spits at her "I thought I told you doll, to leave Hudson alone, you must be a slow learner, maybe I should let Rachel hit you, but then I don't want to see HER get into trouble over an evil bitch like you, so for the last time LEAVE THEM ALONE. Every single person here saw your little display, including Finn and Rachel's parents and your own. So how do you reckon they feel huh? Seeing that, Finn Hudson doesn't want you!"

Puck walks away from Quinn then, nodding at Rach and me as he makes his way towards the change rooms for a shower. I wrap my arm around Rach's shoulders and lead her off the field and towards our friends and family where both her mom and mine check her over making sure she is ok, Mr. Hiram storms off to find Principal Figgins to make a complaint.

As our group passes the Fabray's at the gate, I hear Mr. Fabray going off at his daughter for being a disgrace and how could she embarrass him and their family like that. Due to her behavior, she was grounded for a month which meant no cheerleading, or any other activities except school and church and if she carried on with any more of that sort of conduct he would be enrolling her at the local all girls' Catholic school.

I kissed Rachel on her sore red cheek and said, "Thanks for the support babe you won that game for us, I love you and I'll see you tomorrow ok?" get some ice on your cheek or you will have a bruise. Goodnight Mrs. Berry can you please thank Mr. Berry for me for coming to watch our game?"

"Of course dear it was our pleasure, you played very well indeed, I know Hiram was very proud and impressed, and thank you for caring so much about our Rachel."

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for Rachel Mrs. Berry she is my shining star, but she does more for me than I can ever repay."

I left then with mom and dad; listening to him as he went over the game and told me, I had a definite chance to go pro one day if I kept playing like that. Mom just kissed my cheek and told me she was so proud of both my playing and the way I stood up for Rach and did not lash out and thump that hateful girl. In addition, how it was good to see Noah have a change of attitude, and how she hoped his mom would be proud of him, after all he has not had the best role model in his father. Once we got home mom made some hot chocolate and served it with some apple pie she had baked that afternoon. I went to bed that night, happy and content, and fell asleep dreaming of stages and awards and brown-eyed tiny girls with beaming smiles and soft very kissable lips…

xxxxx

The choir room on Tuesday after Friday night's championship game is all a buzz, when Rach and I walk through the doors. We don't even get a chance to sit down before we are surrounded by our teammates and bombarded with questions.

"What is he doing here?"

"Is this a joke?"

"Did you have anything to do with this Finchel?"

"Does Mr Schue know about this?"

"Yes Kurt I do know about what is going on, so why don't you all let Finn and Rachel have some breathing space and a chance to get caught up with what's happening Hmm?"

Kurt lets out a loud huff and loops arms with Mercedes and Tina and flounces back to his seat on the second row. Artie and the other guys shrug their shoulders and go back to talking about the latest scifi movie they had seen or what ever.

Rach and I have no idea what is going on, until we take a glance around the room, I take a tight hold of Rach's hand as I see the leather jacket and slick hair of the one and only Noah (Puck) Puckerman sitting in the very back row of chairs, one hand gripping the neck of his guitar, a nervous look of expected rejection on his face.

"Now everyone I know that maybe you haven't all, always got along with Noah here but after he came to see me yesterday and auditioned, I just couldn't turn him down , so please welcome to New Directions Noah Puckerman"

A few of the kids clapped and I smiled widely at the soft " It's Puck" that came from his mouth as he made his way down the steps to stand infront of the school band and Brad the piano player.

" Puck cleared his throat looking down at his black biker boots, then stood up tall and said in a soft voice so unlike the tough badass he portrays.

"Um yeah hi I'm Noah Puckerman but I prefer Puck , I know I've been a real ass to most of you kids and I want to apologise, for that, I had what you might say was a wake up kick in the ass the other week at training, when I finally understood what being a grownup was all about, thanks to my friend… still I hope, Finn."

Puck looks at me and I look carefully to see whether he is serious , I can't see anything but the truth in his hazel eyes, making me nod my head and hold up my closed fist as if for a bump, letting him know there were no hard feelings. I felt Rach lean up and press a soft kiss on my cheek before we settled back in our chairs to hear him sing.

He smiles a wide smile of relief, " Thanks man I promise not to let you down. Um yeah well… I have never sung like this in public before …"

He notices the frown on Rach's face, then sighs and says "Ok, Rachel yeah beside temple, so don't hate me if I'm a bit rusty."

I feel Rach grip my hand tighter and see from the corner of my eyes the happy smile and determined nod of her head at his words. Puck looks over at the band and counts them in with his hand making the motion of a 1-2-3

"_Well, it's one for the money_

_Two for the show_

_Three to get ready_

_Now go cat go_

_But don't you_

_Step on my blue suede shoes_

_You can do anything_

_But stay off of my blue suede shoes_

He does a little bit of hip wiggling which has the girls sqealing.

_Well you can knock me down_

_Step in my face_

_Slander my name_

_All over the place_

_Do anything that you want to do_

_But uh-uh, honey_

_Lay off of my shoes_

_Don't you step on my blue suede shoes_

_Well you can do anything_

_But stay off of my blue suede shoes_

_Let's go cat!_

_Ah walk the dog"_

Another bout of hip and leg wiggling, and even Mr Schue is claping along and having a great time. Then as he leads in to the final verse no one is left sitting we have all got up and are dancing around the room having a ball.

_Well it's_

_Blue, blue_

_Blue suede shoes_

_Blue blue_

_Blue suede shoes_

_Blue, blue_

_Blue suede shoes_

_Well you can do anything but stay off of my blue suede shoes!_

The round of applause is deafening and as Rach pulls out of my arms and bounces over to where Puck is just standing by the piano she leans up and presses her mouth close to his cheek, from my spot I can see she is whispering something in his ear, and I grin again at the beaming smile that forms on his tanned face and the way he blushes at her words, but I see his lips move in what looked like a "Thanks Rachel."

XXXXX

After glee, the day Puck sang for us I caught him up and asked him if he wanted to go bowling or something to catch up. He said that would be cool so we made plans to meet up at the bowling alley on Friday night. I didn't see Rach on Fridays usually as it was her family time , when they had their special regelious rituals, last week was a special thing due to our important game. Puck was never one to follow religious rules , I mean he ate bacon burgers and if he was at our house, I had to eat my breakfast bacon super quick or he wold eat the lot.

When I told Rach, she was super happy and knew things with Noah would work out just fine, I was really looking forward to Friday because I'd not been bowling with Puck since the summer before freshman year.

But first we had 3 more days of classes to go. I was real pleased when I got to First aid/Sports-med, last period before lunch and saw Coach had a bundle of marked test papers on her desk. I was hoping I did well, with the theory paper , I know I aced the practical, but the written was 40% of the total mark.

As she handed them all out she slapped me on the back pointed to the big A++ in red ink on the top corner near my name. "She said my answer to question 25 was gold", I was beaming and couldn't wait to show Rach, I was just about to flip the top page over when Coach started to talk.

"Guys we were gonna watch a film on Sexualy Transmitted Disease's 'cause now that y'all are growin' up and starting to think the girls' are more than just a pretty face ya' gotta to be real careful, because the few moments of pleasure the act of sex and fooling around gives ya, could have terrible consequences long after you've forgotten the girls please guys if the urge to sow your wild oats strikes make sure you put a bag on it. 'Cause if ya don't , ya junk is likely to fall off or y'all be paying for a bunch 'o kiddies you never wanted or both. As every good farmer knows a bull without his pizzle ain't no good for breedin'. So watch and pay attention, then after we're gonna have a demonstration of how to bag it properly."

As the lights went out in the classroom, and the film started, a few of the guys sniggered like kids when three condoms with smiley faces and top hats started dancing across the screen, tapping their walking sticks on the words that kept flashing across the wall behind they finished and pictures of normal 'guys' were shown then different stages of what a guys junk looks like after they have caught a VD. A loud chorus of "ouch" and "Oh man" or smart ass comments like "Yo Hudson at least you wont have to worry , I bet your midget will keep ya hanging till ya junk falls off from lack o' use." then loud cackling . I just ignored Azimio and his idiot friends and secretly hoped he caught something.

By the time the film finished I was feeling pretty queasy, then coach pulled out a half dozen cucumbers and box of condoms and made us get into groups so we could practice she said we had to sit with the cucumber in our laps pointing it upwards and use our other hand to slide the rubber on . it was so embarressing pretending the vegetable was our 'business' Sam went first in our group of him, me, Puck, Shane and Mike. And was blushing so much he looked like a strawberry cupcake with vanilla frosting, as he was rolling the rubber on , he had to ask me who was next to him to hold his cucumber 'cause his hands were shaking so much. And he couldn't focus properly but after two attempts he got it right, and let out a deep sigh of relief before shoving the cucumber and rubber packet into my lap and sitting back in his chair crossing his arms glad to rid of it. I was so thankful when the bell went, so I didn't have to go through that, but I told myself to practice at home in the privacy of my bedroom . Then as we were walking out the door I heard coach call Azimo , Jefferson and Greenburg back and tell them they needed to stay and practice because she didn't want to be responsible for them going out into the world and making more pains in the ass kids like themselves and if they refused she would tell all the girls at school they had sumthin'and they'd never get anyy action.

I found Rach in our spot in the quad and before I sat down I gave her a deep kiss and hugged her tightly, trying to erase the images from health class from my mind.

"Oh my Finn, I missed you too baby, but what brought that on?"

"Oh um… well we just watched a film on sex disease's and what can happen to a guys junk… " Rach scrunches her nose at the thought, which makes me smile. "then we had to practice putting a rubber on a cucumber by holding it like we would our… you know… business. While rolling the slippery rubber over it. Man it was humilating and I was only watching Sam…, well he did ask me to hold it for him… on a less painful note but I did get my assignment back, Coach said my answer to question 25 was gold, I don't know why."

I sat down then and pulled my paper out of my bag proudly handing it to Rach and when she saw the A++ she squealed with glee and jumped into my lap pressing lots of little kisses all over my face. But all of a sudden she jumped up and I blushed as red as a beetroot from the way I was suddenly 'excited' . I cleared my throat and adjusted my pants hoping Rach didn't see me trying to rub my boner away. I know we weren't ready for sex yet and after that film I wasn't worried, I knew it would happen when it happened … but when it did, it woud be fantastic 'cause it would be with the girl I love with everything I've got.

I'm brought back to the now by little giggle followed by a couple of snorts from beside me and as I look at a red faced Rach , I must have had a funny look on my face, 'cause she giggles again then leans up to kiss my cheek saying "Finn Hudson, how could you write that on an assignment?"

"What are you talking about baby?" she points the page and taps a finger on Q-25 before handing me the paper and then digging her sandwich out of her lunch bag.

I take the page from her and look down my face again turning red and my ears feel like they are on fire, as I read the words I wrote in answer to the question of _(How do you keep a concious patient calm while attending to a body wound?) A_ : _Pretend it is my super hot and sexy girlfriend Rachel Berry, the most perfect girl in the world, with the voice of an angel, and kiss her on the mouth till she calms down. I could also be practicing mouth to mouth resuscitation at the same time, and I would be able to feel her breasts. Only the sides I spose but I have always thought they are perfect, but then on Rach everything is perfect. Oh man now I've got Jnr Finn all excited, so I have to go and deal with him.)_

I can't believe I would write that on a school paper, no wonder Coach was acting the way she was, I feel really bad that Rach might think I'm trying to force her into stuff… so I keep my head down and for some reason I've lost my appetite, so I just sip on my milk,and keep quiet. Until Rach nudged my side with her elbow and said softly, "baby what is the matter? I am sorry for laughing but it was just too cute." I raise my head and look into her eyes seeing the love she has for me and how bad she does feel.

"It's ok Rach I just feel stupid for writing that stuff on a school paper, but that is what you do to me sometimes I forget what I'm doing , and I was so glad to get that assignment done I guess I didn't check it otherwise I would have seen that and changed it. Not that any of it was untrue, but I know it's not the sort of thing I should be letting my teachers see… and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty that we haven't done anything like that yet I know we have plenty of time and I can wait, but sometimes I get so …."

Rach has climbed onto my lap nearly knocking my milk bottle out of my hand. She cups my face in her tiny hands and closes her eyes and slowly presses her soft pink lips against mine. After a few minutes of gentle kisses she opens her eyes and locks them on mine. Then taking in a deep breath she says. "You know how much I love you Finn don't you?" I nod energetically then pout when she holds a tiny hand over my mouth to stop my kiss. "well I also know your feeling for me are just as strong, and I promise one day we will get to the stage where I am ready to make love with you and considering I plan on you being the only man who is ever going to see me like that I feel we have plenty of time… however I am not adverse to doing _'stuff' _that will help Finn Jnr out when things get hard for him, if you get my meaning, because you do things to me too you know… some nights I can not get to sleep because you have me so wound up after a date or even just saying goodnight on the telephone."

We spend another few minutes kissing , my hands sliding down her sides to settle on her tiny waist as I gently rub my thumbs over the bit of bare skin exposed there. And when Finn Jnr wakes up again instead of jumping up and being embarressed, I juust take a deep breath and focus my thoughts on the mailman and thank my lucky stars Rach is mine.

The end of lunch bell goes and we get our selves organised and ready for an afternoon of glee, looking forward to hear what Mr Schue had decided on for our sectionals competition setlist, and hoping he has picked out a good duet for me and Rach.

xxxxx

**A/N:**_ Please forgive the discrepancies regarding the dates of the sporting awards and such, my research showed that most of them occurred later in the year (1956) but I needed them to fit the story._

_Love me tender: Elvis Presley 1956_

_Blue suede shoes: Elvis Presley 1957_

_The Star Spangled Banner: Francis Scott Key 1814_


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for the terrific response to this story. I must admit I am having a ball writing it, but in saying that this chapter has taken me a while because I am trying to move it along and get to the reason behind our Finn's reclusive behaviour without leaving too much of a giant time gap and hopefully I've managed it so you wonderful readers won't be bored.

As always, nothing belongs to me except the plot and OC's. All music and songs used belong to their rightful owners.

Please enjoy chapter 5.

cab4five

XXXXX***************************XXXXX

Chapter V

1959: End of senior year

Oh man little book…, well your not really a book anymore are you just a collection of papers, though I think I will still call you journal it sounds much cooler than ' bundle of loose pages' but I guess you will one day tell my grandkids all about me. I hope that they will understand how I came to love music even more now, than I did before I met Rach and joined the glee club. (I am keeping my fingers and toes and everything else crossed that my grandkids will also be Rachel's).

Well High school is finally done. This year has been so full on. I can't believe how fast the time keeps flying; did I tell you we won our nationals last month in glee? Well we did, and we travelled to New York. Rach and I sang _'Only You'_ by _The Platters,_ Puck sang _'Mack the knife'_ by _Bobby Darin_ and as a group The girls sang '_Pink shoe_ _laces'_ by _Dodie Stevens_ and the guys sang _Charlie Brown_ by '_the Coasters'_.

It was a total bomb, staying in a fancy hotel and meeting kids from all over America. Then when we stood on the stage, in front of the thousands of people… Journal, oh man… it was nerve wracking but all the nerves and tears and everything else vanished when the MC guy called out… THE NEW DIRECTIONS! From McKinley High School in Lima Ohio as the winners! We were so happy, after we congratulated the losing teams, we spent a few minutes on stage hugging and dancing with each other, probably looking like little kids but we didn't care, we were so proud and happy that our little glee club from a small town in western Ohio could take out a national show choir competition. Mr Schue came and organised us all into a group around our trophy, and took like a gazillion photographs, then as we made our way off the stage and down to our dressing room, Mr Schue said we would need to get a new display case built, for all our trophies.

Rach was in her element, she looked so good up on stage singing, and man! She was just perfect. I think I fell more in love with Rach then. She was made for the stage and the big city. I told her we would come back here one day. In her excitement, and nearly knocking me over, (man for such a little thing she sure is strong) she wrapped her arms around me then and slammed her lips onto mine in front of everyone. Man -o- man Journal, my breath and all my thoughts just up and left, from the intensity of her kiss the only thing that didn't leave was the way that Finny jnr woke up to full mast and I had to call in the mailman, real quick before I embarrassed myself and Rach in front of everyone.

I really am so glad I ran into her on that first day of school in freshman year, (but real happy my clumsy goofy self didn't hurt her) because she not only helped me to see that I was capable of achieving my dreams and being better than I ever thought I could be. (I can understand more big words now too) and how music in any form is good for people to express themselves, and I have to admit I really do feel alive singing and pounding on the drums. The best bit by far, though journal is she also became my best friend and one true love, and I want to be a good man and her hero just as she is mine. Now we are headed to college together, then the rest of our lives will really begin, I can't wait.

The next step is getting married, I have already started planning on how to ask her, and I've saved quite a bit for a down payment on her engagement ring. But I think a few more years at least till we are done with college and got our future careers sorted out, but I guess I will know when the time is right, if it happens before then.

I picked my subjects for college that will give a good shot at getting into the police force, and Rach wants to be a teacher. I do know she would like to be a singer on the stage or make records, and I will help her as much as I can, she would ace whatever she ended up doing, but as long as she still wants to be my girlfriend, all will be ok.

Rach and I also won prom king and queen … even though we didn't nominate the rest of the senior and junior kids decided we needed to win. We were so surprised and really nervous about walking up on the stage 'cause that crazy blonde cheerleader… you know journal, the one that was always chasing me and being mean to Rach? Well she did nominate herself and dragged my buddy Sam Evans up with her to be her king. I didn't think he even liked her, but there you go maybe he saw something nice in her that was buried way- way- way deep down inside perhaps, he will go into mining as a career 'cause anything nice in that girl would have to be buried way deep underneath the stone surface. Anyway, where was I? oh yeah prom… when principal Figgins called our names Quinn went right off the deep end and stormed off out of the gym. Leaving poor Sam standing there on stage looking like a fool.

After the fuss of that died down, we just enjoyed our last prom ever at McKinley High. I spent most of the night slow dancing with my girl. The night was fantastic, until about 30 minutes before the end. Rach said she needed to use the bathroom. So while she was busy I sat down and was talking to Puck and Mike, about maybe having a get together and cook out up at the lake, as everyone was moving all over for college so it would be hard to catch up regularly. I mean Rach and I were going to Ohio State, over in Columbus, Puck was staying in Lima and going to community college, Mike was heading to Chicago for a special dance school. I think out of all our glee friends Puck was the only one staying in Lima.

I was starting to worry about Rach as she had been gone for a long time so I got up and asked Mercedes and Tina to go check on her for me so I didn't have to go into the girls bathroom. I waited outside but the second they pushed open the door, I was worried by Mercedes loud shout of …

"Rachel what happened to you girl? Aw hell to the no!"

"D-do you want m-me to get F-Finn or Mr S-Schue?" I hear Tina stutter.

Hearing those words, made me forget all about privacy, I had to get to my girl. I pushed open the door with enough force to make it slam against the wall, startling the three girls, huddled around one of the sinks, trying to help Rach who from what I could see in the reflection from the mirror, was holding a wad of paper towels up to her left cheek.

As soon as she sees me, Rach pulls away from Mercedes and Tina and scrambles into my arms, wrapping her arms as tight as possible around my neck and hanging on for dear life. Her breathing all jumpy and ragged, she wasn't crying but when I finally noticed her little face. A bright red handprint clearly showing I winced, feeling her pain, so all I could do was carry her over to the single chair in the corner, and pull her on to my knee, trying to soothe her shaking body by pressing little kisses on her face, rubbing my hand in circles on her back and whispering comforting words. I was so angry that someone would hit Rach, and was trying to find out who did. The other girls had disappeared presumably to fetch Mr Schue or coach Beiste, so Rach and I were alone.

"Rach baby, can you tell me what happened and who did this? Because they can't just go around slapping you for no reason, and when I find out…" I felt Rach's tiny body take a deep breath and her head nodding against my chest.

She lifts her head so her face was level with mine then in a soft voice starts to speak, but was interrupted as

Coach and Mr Schue came bursting into the bathroom followed by Mercedes and Tina.

"Rachel are y'all right punkin?"

"Yes thank you I am all right just a bit shaken up, and more than a little confused as to why that girl has always had it in for me, when we haven't exchanged more than a couple of dozen words in our entire high school career. Then to react so strongly to something that was completely out of my control..."

"Rachel can you tell us what happened?" Mr Schue asks

Rach nods her head but her eyes never leave mine.

"Well, I came in assuming the bathroom was empty as I could not see anyone in here. So after I finished and was just washing my hands, dreamily singing along to the song, we had been dancing to, happily thinking about the rest of the night, when all of a sudden the cubical door right behind me was flung open and Quinn Fabray stormed out shoving me out of the way of the sink. Calling me such horrid names and … and well being her usual nasty self. I was shocked to say the least as I hadn't even said a single word to the girl. Then as I was making my way to the door, she swore aloud, grabbed hold of my arm digging her fingernails into my bare skin, and spun me around so roughly, that I fell over. Then she started going on about how I stole her prom crown and had made her lose the vote. And the only way I could have beat her was… by offering all the boys who voted… sex" (Rach whispered the last word).

I was ready to explode how could that blonde bitch dare say such nasty and untrue things, I was ready to punch something…

All of a sudden, her big brown eyes filled with tears and a couple leaked down her cheeks. As she said in a halting whisper "But Finny you know I would never cheat on you and I-I have never even done that…"

Rachel shook her head slightly and continued to speak.

"Then in a burst of temper she dragged the crown off my head pulling my hair as she went, stomped on it and smashed it in pieces muttering if she couldn't have it an ugly freak like me wasn't going to either. But after looking at it said it wasn't good enough for her anyway and only looser freaks like me would think it was pretty. Then she stood in front of the mirror straightening her dress, hair and her makeup then walked out smiling, as though we were the best of friends who had been having a girly gossip session."

"Rach please calm down baby girl I know you didn't cheat on me. Damn that girl makes me so mad what makes her think it is ok to go around hitting others and being so freaking mean just over a toy …ARG! If she was a boy…"

Rachel's face was mask of hurt and confusion and all I could do was keep a tight hold on her hoping my touch was enough to calm her down.

"Rachel, please listen to me if you want to we can take this to the police but I think you should tell your parents." Mr Schue said in a pleading tone.

"I'm all right Mr Schue honestly; can we please just forget about this and enjoy the rest of our evening? Finny can we go please?"

The adults look at each other and sigh deeply but couldn't really do anything about it, except nod their heads sadly and leave the bathroom, ushering Mercedes and Tina out as well.

"Come on baby let me take you home and get some ice on your face before it leaves too much of a mark. The prom is nearly over anyway"

"Yes please, thank you baby." Rach says as she stands up from my lap and moves to the mirror trying to straighten her hair and digging through her little purse for her makeup, dusting some powder over her cheek, which worked a little to hide the redness.

By the time we arrive back in the gym, things were starting to slow down. But we heard the DJ say there was time for one more song, and Rach asks if we can stay as a couple more minutes isn't going to make any difference to her face. Then as the first notes started to play, I wrapped my arms tightly around her tiny body pressing her as close as possible to mine, I smiled when I felt her arms loop around my neck and her cheek press over my heart, I rested my cheek on the top of Rach's head and softly sang along.

"_Put your head on my shoulder_

_Hold me in your arm, baby_

_Squeeze me oh so tight_

_Show me that you love me too._

_Put your lips next to mine, dear_

_Won't you kiss me once, baby_

_Just a kiss goodnight, maybe_

_You and I will fall in love_

_You and I will fall in love_

_People say that loves a game_

_A game you just can't win_

_If there's a way_

_I'll find it someday_

_And then this fool will rush in_

_Put your head on my shoulder_

_Whisper in my ear_

_Words I want to hear tell me that you love me too_

_Tell me that you love me too_

_Put your head on my shoulder_

_Whisper in my ear_

_Words I want to hear_

_Put your head on my shoulder…"_

One the music finished and the lights came back on, Rach and I stayed in the same spot just swaying not wanting the feeling of closeness to go away. Until we were shaken from our own world by the sound of Mr Schue's voice,

"Time to go home guys, oh and Rachel, please make sure you tell your parents what went down tonight, I know Mr Figgins was very unhappy to hear about it, and is prepared to take any action necessary on your behalf. Congrats again on your crowns, you two were more than worthy of the votes even if it was an unexpected write in vote. See you on Monday have a good weekend.

"Goodnight Mr Schuester and thank you for caring so much, I promise I will talk to my parents when I get home if they are still up or at least in the morning ok?

Mr S nodded and waved as he walked away to round up the other kids and send them home, or wherever they were going, knowing most would probably be heading to the lake or lovers lane to make out.

Instead of going straight home, Rach asked if we could drive up to our special spot at the lake, for a bit. Apparently, we were not the only couple who wanted some quiet alone time before curfew. Our parents were real cool with our curfew's, allowing us to stay out till 11:30pm as long as we were careful plus the fact it was a Saturday night, and we only had a week or so of school left till graduation.

I parked the car in our usual spot that was partially hidden by a clump of bushes and the minute I turned off the ignition my tiny girl was sliding across the bench seat and straddling my lap. Pressing her center firmly against my groin, and her lips onto mine in a hard breath-stealing kiss. We spent a few glorious minutes enjoying each other before I poked my tongue out to run along Rach's teeth, asking for more, she moaned deeply before opening her mouth wider so our tongues could tangle in their own embrace. Mingling with the sounds of the radio softly playing in the background, our moans and sighs filled the car.

My hands took on a life of their own and moved slowly up Rachel's body, caressing her thighs that had been uncovered when she climbed on to my lap; they were shaking slightly in nervous anticipation when they reached her breasts, hidden behind the silky material of her dress. She pulled her mouth away from mine panting slightly from our kiss, locking her beautiful big brown eyes on mine before she leans forward again and whimpers against my lips "Please touch me baby"

I try to control myself (well Finn jnr) Rachel's breasts' are perfect and I have wanted to touch them, skin on skin, for ages but have always respected her. But there is no way I'm going to turn down a direct request from my girl.

My voice turns all husky as I say, "Are you sure baby?"

"Mmm-Hmm the zip is at the back, please Finn I want to be close to you… I-I mean I'm not ready to go all the way just yet, but I want to feel your hands on my body so bad… I love you baby…"

All coherent thoughts leave my brain then as I lean down a little to sweep my lips over Rach's already puffy ones, and snake my hand around to find the hidden zipper on her dress. Once I had the little tag in my fingers, I slowly slid it down, my other hand helping to slide the material off her honey colored shoulders and down her arms until her dress was just a bundle of silky pink material, around her tiny waist. My eyes automatically followed the line of her soft neck to her breasts now uncovered and just perfect, I couldn't help but touch one and the mewl that left my girl's throat made my heart beat faster. So in-between kissing her like the world was ending my hand was caressing her breast, my thumb rubbing her nipple. She was wiggling on my lap grinding her center on mine

While I was busy undressing her. Rach was undoing the buttons of my dress shirt without restraint pouting adorably when the last button got stuck. Her fingers grazed my dick and it all of a sudden became rock hard, pressing against the fly of my trousers. I think I scared Rach 'cause she jumped a bit and moaned. Our eyes made contact and in an instant hers were alight with what I can only describe as lust, 'cause the next thing that happened she had undone my zipper and button, sliding her little hand in my trousers and rubbing a finger over the head of my dick.

"R-Raacchhh" was all I could utter and when she slammed her beautiful soft pink lips against mine, my head (both of them) nearly exploded and my breath all but stopped. I could tell she was getting impatient, so I wiggled my hips on the seat tying to help her. Meanwhile I had slid my other hand under her dress and was walking my fingers up her smooth thighs until I reached the hem of her panties and as my fingers connected with the lace covering her secret place she moaned again, and nuzzled her face into my neck whispering that I could touch her if I wanted to.

If I wanted too? Man! what a question to ask a horny teenage boy with a half naked, beautiful, super sexy girl sitting on his lap with her soft hand down his pants stroking his dick…

"I want to" and as soon as I nervously entered one finger into her hot wet core she sucked my neck so hard and made the sexiest noise I have ever heard in my life. I jerked my hips at the same time because Rach had started to slide her hand up and down my rock hard dick twisting her wrist when she got to the head.

I was trying to control my breathing so I could focus on pleasing her the way she was doing for me. So I pushed another finger inside her and made like a scissor motion, at the same time as I was rubbing the little button I had found with my thumb. She was moaning and sighing and making the sweetest music,

I could feel myself about to cum so I whispered to her and she nodded into my neck … we came together in an explosion of love juices. With flushed faces and pounding hearts beating in time, we took a few gasping breaths. As I came down slightly from my orgasm, I needed to kiss her so I took my hand off her breast, and cupped her chin bringing her flushed face level with mine, I could feel my eyes filling with tears as I gazed tenderly at her, and through my raged breaths told her.

"R-Rach I love you so very much, and I can't ever be without you, and I will never forget this night thank you baby for taking a chance on me and letting me love you."

"O-0h baby, you have given me more than you will ever know, I love you so much. I wish there was a stronger word to describe my feelings, I know I cannot be without you ever Finn. You are my home and what we just shared is only the beginning baby, so I have to thank you for choosing me I love you Finn Hudson until the twelfth of never. "

Once we are calmed down and redressed, I noticed we still have a bit of time before we are to be home. So I lean back against the door pull Rach on to my lap, looking out at the stars shining like diamonds in the night sky. I feel Rach press a kiss over my heart then she starts to sing softly.

"_You ask how much I need you, must I explain?_

_I need you oh my darling, like roses need rain._

_You ask how long I'll love you; I'll tell you true:_

_Until the twelfth of never, I'll still be loving you._

_Hold me close, never let me go._

_Hold me close; melt my heart like April snow._

_I'll love you till the bluebells forget to bloom,_

_I'll love you till the clover has lost its perfume._

_I'll love you till the poets run out of rhyme,_

_Until the twelfth of never and that's a long, long time._

_Hold me close, never let me go._

_Hold me close, melt my heart like April snow._

_I'll love you till the bluebells forget to bloom,_

_I'll love you till the clover has lost its perfume._

_I'll love you till the poets run out of rhyme,_

_Until the twelfth of never and that's a long, long time._

_Until the twelfth of never and that's a long, long time…"_

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think. Things will start to get hard for our Finchel from now on leading up to what caused Finn's hermit like behaviour.

The Twelfth of Never: sung by Johnny Mathis- written by: Jerry Livingston &amp; Paul Frances Webster (1957)

Put your head on my shoulder: Paul Anka (1959)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews and reads; so glad you are still with me.

Like I said last chapter, we are heading into rough water for Finchel, they might be tested, but a little drama in life just proves the strength of their tether.

So please don't worry in my stories _**Finchel is Forever**_, the drums and the music will play on eternally

Rating: changed to M for the Finchel love, I own nothing except the plot, OC's and any mistakes that slip through. All music, songs or name brands used belong fully to their rightful owners.

Please enjoy Chapter 6 and leave me your thoughts, I honestly do love to hear from you.

**xxxxx**

Chapter VI

_1961: summer between sophomore and junior year of college_

"…Oh, man Rach that was freakin' fantastic baby, I love how you can get your leg up on my shoulder, it really gives me more room to…" The words escape my mouth in ragged puffs

I lean down to press a soft kiss on my tiny brunette, sex goddess's naked shoulder, slightly detouring till my lips find the spot where her soft neck meets her collarbone. Spending a few glorious minutes nipping her warm skin firmly enough, to leave a little mark then swiping my tongue over the marks and licking away the sweat droplets formed during our intense lovemaking…

"Mmmm, it is _my pleasure _as well baby" Rach purrs breathlessly "but I think I need to lay down now before I collapse"

"Course babe, hang on."

I chuckle as Rach slides her still thrumming center against my hips, and wraps her long, silky, honey hued legs, (man for someone so short her legs go on for ever) around my waist locking her ankles over my butt. I can't help but groan as Rach grinds against me, causing my dick to spring back to full attention. I feel her shiver with anticipation at the same time she smothers my mouth with her pliant lips, forces her warm sweet tongue past my teeth, and begins playing a well-rehearsed game of tag with mine. Then pulling away to take in a much-needed breath of air before reattaching her mouth to my neck and returning the attention by sucking the skin just under my ear, giggling when I pulled back the minute her teeth bite my skin.

I finally reach our bed, and throw her on top of the rumpled covers. I attempt a look of anger on my whiskered face. Scowling down at my love and trying to be a little intimidating but, not really achieving my goal, most probably because, I'm standing in front of Rach, in all my 6'4" naked glory, my rock hard dick standing at full attention quivering with a desperate need to be buried to the hilt inside my angel's warm, wet love cave. She is laying there; her brunette tresses spread like a cape over the white pillow, seductively looking up at me from under hooded eyelids, her big brown eyes shining with love and lust that tells me she wants me as much as I want her.

I put a stern inflection to my voice as I say, "Did you just bite me missy?"

Rach pulls her bottom lip into her mouth (knowing that every time she does it turns me on even more) then she slowly nods her head, pulling her body up slightly to lean on her elbows. The movement making her beautiful breasts' bounce, forcing my eyes to focus on the numerous red marks our lovemaking has left. I grin cheekily as I remember how the stubble rash marks came to be there. Before dragging my eyes slowly in a line up her voluptuous body, and settling on her beautiful face. My brain turning to mush at the sight of the most beautiful and sexy woman I have ever seen or want to see in my life.

"Yup (as she said the word she made the P pop, sounding like a little kid) sure did Mr. Hudson, couldn't help myself, you are yummy." She smirks at me then, her eyes moving over my body at the same time as she moves one of her little hands up from underneath her, to caress her boob, squeezing her nipple between her thumb and forefinger.

I let out a deep growl as I throw my self on the bed landing just to the side of her, bouncing on the bed and making the headboard thump against the wall.

"Fiiinnnyyyy, what are you doing you goof, the couple next door will be complaining about the wild sex orgies going on here and we might get kicked out for being disturbers of the peace." She says through her musical giggles.

I just shrug at her and say.

"Maybe we should put a foam cushion or something against the wall then to stop the noise, 'cause there is no way I'm ever going to stop sexin' up my woman, regardless of the neighbors complaints. But you forget I'm going to be a police officer in a couple of years so I can skirt my way around the noise laws, now missy you need to be punished for biting my neck _and_ for playing without me. I just have to think of a suitable punishment, so while I think about it, please feel free to carry on with what you were doing, but maybe this time you could include Finny Jnr? You know he doesn't like to left out of the fun."

I pout, making sad puppy dog eyes at my still smirking girl. I lay with my back against the headboard as Rach, straddles my thighs and reaches out one tiny hand wrapping it around my dick, whilst her other has slowly moved up her body to its former place on her boob. This time the action is accompanied by soft mewls and moans as her back arches and she bends her neck backwards causing her long hair to tickle my thighs. A few minutes of this have me steel hard and breathing as if I've just run a marathon. She lets go of me and slides backwards, until her face is level with her second best friend, then as she lowers her mouth to take me inside, I can do nothing but groan loudly, thrusting my hips up to meet her amazingly talented mouth. (Did I mention she doesn't have a gag reflex? Well she doesn't and the first time she took me all the way in I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but every time since has been just as fucking 'mazing).

My long fingers tangle in her silky brunette tresses automatically, moaning her name then, when I can't stand it any longer I reach down to grab her around the waist and pull her up impaling her on my throbbing dick. Wondering idly when she slid the condom on, our moans and whispered words of love the only sounds in the room besides the occasional squeak of the bedsprings as it hits the wall. In-between the squeaks of our bed, and the increasing volume of the music bleeding through the walls that is alerting us that our neighbors are home, but we can't be bothered to care, he is just jealous he doesn't have a Raacchhh, shit …

"Oh god I'm just about there, cum with me baby, show your Finny bear what you've got baby, Oh yeah Rach… fuck I love you…"

"Mmmm, oh, oh Finn honey just there … oh yeah please harder baby please YES, YES, YEEESSS, I love you FIIINNNYYY…"

As soon as I felt my love contract her internal muscles around me I couldn't hold on any longer, so moving one hand down to her clit and rubbing it firmly I encouraged her release, which in turn forced mine. We then fell off the edge together in one heaving and sweaty heap. Rach collapsed against my chest pressing as many little butterfly kisses across my still tingling skin as she could between taking deep breaths to replace the air in her lungs. Once she caught her breath, I rolled her to my side, as I removed the condom and dropped it in the trash bin under the side table. Reaching at the same time into my drawer for the little velvet box, I have had hidden in there for months waiting for the right time. I don't ever think I could love her anymore than I do now; I wanted to make sure the rest of the world knows she is mine. I am sure she will say yes but still I'm a bit nervous.

"Rach, baby can you please look at me? I know you want to sleep honey, but this is important."

Rach looks up at me yawning widely as she battles to stay awake and mumbles "Baby what ever is the matter, surely you can't be ready to go again so soon, I need to recover a bit first…mmmph" I slam my lips on to hers and pull her into a semi sitting position against the mound of pillows.

"Baby girl you are a sex maniac, a guy needs his rest, to recharge the swimmers tank too ya know, but this is more important so please just try and stay awake just for a little bit longer and listen, I always feel you hear me better when I don't speak."

I have to smile at the befuddled look on her beautiful face as she tries to figure out what is going on. So I make my self comfortable next to her making sure I have full eye contact, reluctantly sort of draping the covers over her naked body, as much as I enjoy looking at her I need to focus and I can't if all I see are her boobs.

I swallow deeply, and start to sing one of my favourite country songs from a few years ago. Since I first heard this song, I knew it was the perfect one to sing to Rach when I proposed.

"_Someday I'm going to write_

_The story of my life_

_I'll tell about the night we met and how my heart can't forget_

_The way you smiled at me_

_I want the world to know_

_The story of my life_

_About the night, your lips met mine_

_And that first exciting time_

_I held you close to me_

_The sorrow in our love was love breakin' up_

_The mem'ry of a broken heart_

_But later on, the joy of makin' up_

_Never, never more to part_

_There's one thing left to do_

_Before my story's through_

_I've got to take you for my wife_

_So the story of my life_

_Can start and end with you_

_Can start and end with you_

_There's one thing left to do_

_Before my story's through_

_I've got to take you for my wife_

_So the story of my life_

_Can start and end with you_

_Can start and end with you…"_

I finish singing and take a deep breath taking my eyes off my love for a second as I open the little box smiling goofily as I notice the box is the wrong way around. Turning it around I present it the right way to Rach hearing her gasp as her little face is awash with tears and her hands pressed against her mouth, stopping any words that are trying to escape but I think the animated head nodding is exactly the answer I was hoping for.

"Is that a yes?"

When she finally finds her voice it is more of a teary mumble, but I can understand enough. "Yes! Finn Hudson that is a yes, yes I will marry you, I love you so, so much baby and that song was absolutely perfect baby."

I place the diamond heart shaped solitaire ring on her left ring finger, and seal the deal with a kiss, to first her hand then her mouth, whispering my thanks and my love before cocooning her in the safety of my arms and snuggling into the sheets for a nap _before_ properly celebrating the Finchel engagement a bit later …

xxxxx

January 1962: Junior year

College is great; soon after arriving, Rach and I found a group of friends, to hang out with, and our apartment, which we were very lucky to get together is just a little studio type, with one main room a tiny galley kitchen and an even smaller bathroom. Is just perfect for us, however, the cool thing about it is we have a little balcony off the main room. Rach even has a couple of flowerpots, which at the minute are bursting with dainty white snowdrops.

When the weather is nice, Rach and I sit out there, on our extra large beanbag and study or talk about all sorts of things, though lately it has been all wedding talk. Even though we decided to wait till we graduate college, (only because that was Mr. Hiram's single non-negotiable stipulation in giving us his blessing to finally tie the knot) we, (well Rach, her mom and mine) are planning every little thing right down to the last napkin holder, to make sure our day will go off perfectly. I'm pretty much going along with what my girl wants, I know it is my wedding too but as long as there is a preacher/rabbi to make it official, Rach and me and a nice feed afterwards I will be over the moon. I do like to see Rach's happy smile though, when I agree on something and it does earn me another round of making out. (Score 5 for Hudson)

The faster the year moves along though, the more excited we get. I think Rach has finally decided on what wedding dress she wants, well narrowed it down anyway, to the top 3 or 8 choices and of course, every time I ask about it she just rolls her big brown eyes at me and says,

"It is bad luck Finny, for the groom to see his bride's dress before the wedding, so you will just have to wait and be amazed like everyone else. Even so, maybe you could talk to Daddy again and reassure him that I'm not pregnant and I won't be walking down the aisle with either a baby belly or pushing a pram, so there is no reason to what so ever for him to get his hunting rifle out. I have already told him he has nothing to worry about and how, I'll want to put my wifely request list on the table after the ceremony and it would be a big shame if he has shot off your business, which would not bode well for his desire for grandchildren at some point…"

I smile and kiss her and say, "I will talk to him again next time we go home if it will make you happy baby. But to be honest I don't give a hoot if you wanted to wear a red shower curtain, made into a dress and funky red stuff over your eyes, as long as you meet me at the end of the aisle and become Mrs. Hudson… Hmmmm though ya know… I do like the thought of your luscious sexy little body round with my baby… But I know that is down the track without it's paddle or something… but I promise baby to keep my big business parts safe just for you. It won't be hard or well maybe it will, yeah most probably will be, like it is every time I see you… But as they already have a property of Rachel Berry/Hudson stamped on them I should be A-ok."

She giggles at my words, telling me "it's up the river without a paddle and down the road a bit, but you are super cute baby, when you get your idioms mixed up," then gives me a beaming smile and leans up to whisper in my ear "It's Hudson" before kissing my neck and rubbing Finny Jnr protectively albeit teasingly.

Xxxxx

I am coping very well with my studies at college so far, seeing as we are three quarters done and I have been getting great results; I've also been volunteering every other weekend, down at the local emergency center as a first aider. Sometimes I go with the fire department and other times the police. I really enjoy the work and even though I don't get any actual course credits at school, it is all good experience that I hope will give me a good chance of being accepted to the police academy here in Columbus. I heard they have a motorcycle division now and after talking to Rach about it, decided that if I get the chance I will apply for it. I have also become really good buddies with a couple of the guys down there, and we go out most Friday nights to the bowling alley, sharing a few beers and stories.

One guy, at the fire station, Todd Greggory who is few years older than me talked me into playing the drums for his part time band, once he found out I played, he plays bass guitar and sings lead vocals, and a couple of his old school buddies Natty Young and Eric Carmonovich are on keyboard and rhythm guitar. We do mainly covers of current chart hits and play semi regular gigs at the YMCA, and the local high schools. We are getting quite a following for our band _'The Gr8 Buck's.'_ Rach was so happy that I had found some time to keep music in my busy life, though I know for a fact she doesn't really like the _'after-party and 'groupies' _side of it, 'specially when I come home late and trip over our furniture 'cause I'm a bit tipsy. I tell her not to worry and that I promise to be careful, I usually only have a couple of drinks, but sometimes, depending on the day I've had or the late hour and buzz of performing make me a bit sloppy.

In answer to me, she just sleepily kisses me scrunching her nose at the smell of beer on my breath, and mumbles, "She is glad I am having a full college experience but to please be careful, as a few drinks after a gig can turn, so quickly into an all night booze fest."

xxxxx

Last week I came home from my late class in Sociology about 9:30pm to find her bouncing around our little house as if she had just won a lottery or somethin'. The second I sit on our bed she jumps on my lap forcing me onto my back, and then pressing kisses all over my face…

"Whoa baby girl what's going on? I mean please feel free to greet me like that anytime, but what has you so excited?" I chuckle at her little face shining with happiness and watch as she calms down enough to dig under her pillow and pull out a sheet of paper. As she is straightening it out on my chest I can sort of see, albeit upside down a word that looks like _'Carnival' _and suddenly realize it must be about the community drama club's play she tried out for a couple of weeks ago.

"I got Lilli! Baby the lead role in my very first audition"

"Oh Baby that is so excellent, I'm so very proud of you" I kiss her deeply showing her just how proud of her I am. My hands that were resting on her tiny waist started moving of their own volition upwards, ghosting my fingers over her ribs and purposely tickling her and sliding under _our_ McKinley Titans' t-shirt, caressing her naked boobs, smirking sexily when I realized she wasn't wearing panties either, score!

I was smiling against her lips at the sexy moan my ministrations forced from her throat. Before I had a minute to regain my breath and dig my mind out of the dense fog that the kiss we just shared left me in. I felt Rach hurriedly undoing my belt and unzipping my jeans, I got the message loud and clear what my girl wanted so who was I to deny her. I just as quickly ripped my shirt off and lifted my hips so she could get what she was after…

Oh, man! What a celebration! We had that night, thank goodness neither of us had a morning class the next day, because we did not emerge from our bed till about 1pm, which gave us just 45 minutes to shower and get to our afternoon class. But it was so totally worth falling asleep in class, and even having to write an extra paper, as punishment, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face every time I remembered what my brunette sex goddess and I did. My professor thought I was on something I'm sure, with the funny looks he was sending my way all class

xxxxx

Rehearsals for the play seem to be every day once the full cast and crew has been decided on; I was pissed that I couldn't spend as much time watching Rach as I wanted but I was so busy. The band had got a regular Friday night gig at the Y.M.C.A from 6pm till 10pm. I also had late classes two nights a week and Thursday nights I taught drumming classes. The weekends were really the only time Rach and I could spend together.

Rach was in her element with the play and was having a great time, though I did voice my concern at the part of her script where her 'Lili who is an innocent lonely orphan, is _'befriended'_. By the character (Gobert) and who is supposed to try to have sex with her, as I didn't want any one to see her half naked on the stage.

Rach kisses my pouting lips and says "Baby please don't worry, that scene is a very small one and anyway Lili is 'saved' from the creeper by Marco the Magnificent, but as the play goes on both he and Paul the puppeteer fall for Lilli. The two men engage in a fierce rivalry for Lili's affections. However, after a few hiccups Lili and Paul have their happy ever after."

I manage to get to the first few rehearsals and Rach introduces me to her cast mates. Everyone seems nice and welcoming, and the guy who plays Paul is old enough to be Rach's dad, his wife and daughter are in the play as well, so I know he won't try anything, and the other guy Maurice, who plays (Marco) is like, so totally not _'interested'_ in women anyway. The only problem I have is with her co-star for the opening scene of the play a definite grade A douche bag named Brodie Weston. Who plays Gobert the sleazy souvenir salesman at the carnival (Man! they got that casting down to a tee).

A couple of weeks before opening night I was able to be at the theatre watching the rehearsal, I was getting royally pissed, as the play went on. At the way that Brodie jerk carried his character's sleazy ways off the stage, telling the director that Rach needs some extra time spent going over the lines with him. Then offering to stay back after to help her, as he can tell she shows great promise and his years of experience will undoubtedly guide her to be better and the fact he is about her age might make it easier. In addition, they need to work on their obvious chemistry.

I couldn't understand his thinking as he only had a very small part, the entire scene only lasted about 10 minutes and from what I had seen, it had gone really well. The director, who always seemed so rushed and in a frantic tizzy finally agreed after Brodie threw a diva fit, and thought it would be good for Rach to get some extra rehearsal time, and as long as she was agreeable, then he had no problems. He thanked Brodie with a firm slap on the back and a nod. Telling Rachel, (who agreed straight away as she was very keen to gain as much actual hands on stage experience as possible) that she was very lucky to have such a talented co-star and veteran of the stage to assist her. Before he raced off home to his husband and their anniversary dinner

I watched as the bastard sent Rach a sly smirk that seemed to say, "Get ready to have your world rocked darlin" and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, as he leaned down and pressed his lips against her cheek, while looking straight at me standing on Rach's other side holding her hand.

I glared at him and gently tugged Rach away saying in a dark voice, "Excuse us Brodie but _MY fiancée and I_ have a dinner reservation, so we'll see you next time"

He is a few years older than Rach and I, (graduating from his drama college when we were sophomores), and won't take no for an answer, even after Rach tells him numerous times, she isn't interested in any thing other than a platonic relationship as co-stars.

He even started to turn up on campus after somehow finding out Rach's timetable. Waiting for her after her last class and calling on the telephone at all hours as well as sending letters and bunches of flowers, making it look like Rach is cheating on me. I know deep down she isn't, and would never, but I have been so busy with my life lately, I have sort of missed out on what has been going on in hers.

I told Rach all about the thoughts I had, regarding this Brodie character, and how she had to promise me not to be alone with him at any time, because there was something about him that just rubbed me the wrong way and made me worry about her.

"You know I only love you baby this beautiful ring on my finger shows the world I am taken and blissfully so, and would never do anything to upset you. I know Brodie is only after one thing, but he is completely wasting his time, just because my character in the play is perceived by some critics as '_simple and naïve'_. It does not mean I am like that off stage. I have my man and am more than happy with him, and cannot wait until I am Mrs. Finn Hudson. Nevertheless, I promise baby I will stay safe.

The promise is sealed with a deep kiss which a few minutes later turns to a '_very hot'_ session of love making, and now Rach is taking birth control pills, we no longer need condoms, and dude let me just say it is 200% better (wink, wink).

xxxxx

Once Rach had put my mind at rest over her safety, I could focus on my own troubles with _'creepy attachments'. _'Cause a persistent red head named Karla, has taken the friendly actions of the band stopping and talking to our growing number of fans after the Y.M.C.A shows, and the nice words we write in the many autograph books thrust in our faces every show.

She is under the impression I want to be hers (all from the words, '_thanks for your support' or 'we really appreciate you_ _all'_) and she makes a point to only talk to me all the time. But without being horrible and saying something hurtful it is just creepy because for (1) she is only she is only a high school senior, (2) I have everything I will ever want in my tiny Fiancée. Moreover, I am just not that sort of guy; I leave the sleeping with groupies to Todd, though even he isn't stupid enough to go there.

None of her attention makes an impact on me in the sense I am going to cheat, but this girl somehow found out where I goes to school and sends me love letters and locks of her hair and the not so normal fan stuff. I realized the only thing I could do was to leave the band, because after the letter she left at my school's administration office for me, went along the lines of

"Finn_ baby,_

_I love you and know you love me too, we can be soooo good together, and you don't need that midget to hold you back._

_I will be waiting for you but if you take too long. I might just have to come and get you myself and get rid of 'ANYTHING' that is in my way._

_Your only love Karla_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

It scared me, at the thought of anything happening to Rach, to the point of waking up at night in a cold sweat, reaching out for Rach and nearly scaring her to death with my bad dreams, and tight cuddling, but she was my first priority. The other guys' in the band understood and were sorry that things had gone the way they did, but were hopeful that when this garbage settled down, and maybe if we were still in the same area maybe we could get together occasionally. They did encourage me to go to the police seeing as this girl knew where I went to school. I took their advice and Rach and I went the very next day and made a complaint, it turns out the girl has a history of illness and has bothered guys' before, we felt sorry for her, but it wasn't right to threaten people.

xxxxx

I went into angry hulk mode one night when I about a week before Rach's play's opening night, after I turned up to surprise Rach at rehearsals, 'cause my drum lesson canceled at the last minute, . But the instant I saw that slime ball Weston, with one hand clamped over Rach's mouth and his other shoved up her sweater. I could hear Rach's muffled crying and the way she was squirming about trying to get the bastard off her, but being so tiny and scared she was having a hell of a time. I knew straight away it wasn't part of the play. I had a massive hit of adrenalin and bounded up the steps to the stage. Grabbed him by the back of his shirt flinging him off Rach so hard, I heard the wall crack when he hit it. I looked down at Rach to check on her and she nodded she was ok, and then I stormed over to the donkey faced prick and dragged him off the floor waiting a minute till he focused his dazed beady eyes on my face.

The bastard had the nerve to smirk at me, and say, "Hey man she is a firecracker but we can share."

My temper exploded then and as my right fist made contact with his jaw, in a voice like thunder, I spat out, "Leave my future wife the fuck alone." He tried to fight back but my next hit was in his stomach, causing him to clutch at his middle and double over moaning in pain, but just before, he hit the floor for a second time, and just for good measure, my fist found his face again. I spun on my heel, my blood rushing against my temples, chest pounding with the effort and my breathing ragged. But when I looked at my Rach, wiping her tears off her cheeks with her sleeve and trying to straighten her clothes, all my anger at the fucker, moaning in a bloody heap on the floor, left me as I scooped her up into my arms bridal style, grabbing her bag from the edge of the stage as we passed. We made our way to my truck and drove straight to the police station, to file a complaint for attempted rape.

When Rachel's director George found out what had happened to her the next day, and the numerous reports about Brodie Weston attacking girls in other theater companies. He was so ashamed and apologetic, as well as feeling totally responsible for agreeing to Brodie's demands, he offered to pay for any and all legal costs if Rachel decided to take the matter to court.

Rachel was to attend court and give evidence in regards to the attack at the theater, two weeks before the school year ended. Of course I went with her as did her parents and mine. She was so nervous the entire time and her voice was not much more than a whisper as she told the judge what happened.

Judge Moorland said, "That this was not the first complaint against Mr. Weston, but from all the evidence he has seen and heard the man is a menace to society and is hereby sentenced to 5 years imprisonment and ordered to get psychiatric help for his obvious problems. As well, he was to pay for Miss Berry's court costs, the other cases against him, will be dealt with accordingly. But Miss Berry's case was now closed."

Rachel let out a great big sigh of relief at Judge Moorland's words, and as we made our way from the court. I tightened one arm around Rach's shoulders and my other had hold of her left hand rubbing my thumb over her engagement ring. None of us even looking at the creep dressed in his brown coveralls, an officer on each side, guiding him out of the room. We just tried to put the whole terrifying business behind us and move on.

*xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx*

A/N: Well what did you all think? Please review and let me know your thoughts.

Next chapter will delve more into Finn's problems and the reason he completely turned away from music.

I think there is only another couple of chapters left in this story, as I want it to still be interesting and not bore you all too much:):)

Story of my life: written by A Menken, H David, B Bacharach- sung by Marty Robbins 1957


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks again to my group of regular reviewer friends', (you all know who you are) also the guest reviewers. I honestly appreciate all your support and kind words. I hope this chapter answers some of your questions about Finn's sudden change in personality and disinterest in music.

I apologize for the long wait on this chapter, but parts of it were emotionally difficult to write; I just hope it is ok. Please let me what you think.

This is for all you lovely ladies' all the way from West Aus in down under land, I hope you enjoy it. As always I own only the plot and OC's any songs used or mentioned belong to their rightful owners.

cab4five

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

_Chapter VII_

_1963: Beginning of summer_

Man! I can't believe my four years at college are finally done and with surprisingly good results, (well I was surprised, Rach said she always knew I could do it). I also have my much-prided acceptance to the Columbus Police Department Academy, and come November I'll be reporting as a recruit for my six months training before hopefully gaining a position with the new motorcycle division of the Ohio Highway Patrol working with the Police department based in Lima.

Rach was of course one of the highest scoring graduates from her group at college and has been busy organizing her portfolio and writing application letters to the closest kindergartens and elementary schools in the greater Lima area.

As time goes on Rach and I are really getting excited out our Wedding in October. We are of course back in Lima, and as it is, summer we have been relaxing a bit. Well besides working at Hummel tire and lube down on North Street, three days a week and helping coach Beiste run her summer football camps for the kids. The weekends at least we have had time to catch up with all our old friends that are home, who like Rach and me are having some down time before they become fully fledged working adults. Man that is scary, but I guess the benefits of being an adult outweigh the bad, only time will tell.

XXXXX

Rach and I live together now in my childhood home on Bluebird Ave, Dad converted the basement into a granny flat type space with a bathroom and little kitchenette. Mr. Hiram and Mrs. Barbara were ok with us living together, after all it was as they said, "you two shared an apartment all 4 years of college, and are nearly married so it seems silly to separate now." Mr. Hiram then sends me a dark look as he says, "Just make sure Finn I'm not a granddaddy too soon all right? Now then Barbra… where did I put the pellets for my shotgun dear?"

I gulp noisily causing my Adams apple to jiggle in my throat, as I stutter out "Y-yes Sir, a-and thank you for allowing Rachel to move into my family home I promise to always make her my priority and look after her a-and I promise you sir that there will be no babies of any sort… I mean real like human babies not weird alien, like Rach and I would make, not that I'm saying we would be making alien babies they would be beautiful talented ones just like Rach. Well I hope they would have something of mine too even if it was my bad dancing abilities, which I guess they would have to I mean I would be their dad after all … until much later." At the thought of being a dad my heart started doing this weird flip floppy thing and the movie player in my head started showing pictures of me and our kids playing in the snow and the piles of fall leaves that they are _'helping'_ me rake up, and little league games and dance recitals and Christmas morning….

"Finn, Finn, baby where did you go

I gulp again and rub my hand over the back of my neck, realizing the amount of stupid word vomit that I just spewed out and feeling extra dumb. I chance a look at Rach who has now gotten off the sofa and is standing next to me giggling into her hands. When she looks up at me her big brown eyes are all misty and she smiles wetly at the scared look on my face, and as I look around the room at all our parents' I sigh with relief at the smile on their faces. Rach winds her arms around my neck before standing on her tippy toes and kissing me on the mouth, then whispering into my neck,

"Daddy really does love you, and he knows you will look after me baby, but he couldn't help but tease." I sigh deeply with relief, but her next words cause the movie to start again when she says. "I can't wait either baby you will be an excellent Daddy and as long as I get at least one mini Finn I will so happy."

I couldn't help the goofy grin that took over my face at the thought but after a second I lent down to whisper in her ear "Na-ah I want a little Rachel, who I know will be as cute and talented like her momma"

XXXXX

I came home from work one night to hear Rach singing along to the radio, I just stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with my arms crossed over my chest, and a big smile in my face. I listened to her beautiful voice, (laughing to myself at the way she replaced the words, December 1963 for September 1954 I knew then that she was using the song to remind herself of the time we met. My mind automatically rewound to that first day of high school when I knocked her tiny body down in the hallway at McKinley, and my life changed) for a few beats before walking silently across the room, to where she was preparing dinner at the kitchen counter. Her back was facing me and she was so into her singing she didn't know I was there until I started to sing leaning down so my mouth was close to her ear, and joining her at the line "_Hypnotizing, mesmerizing me. She was everything I dreamed she'd be…"_

"_Oh, what a night.  
Late December back in '63.  
What a very special time for me,  
'Cause I remember what a night._

Oh, what a night.  
You know, I didn't even know her name,  
But I was never gonna be the same.  
What a lady. What a night.

Oh, I. I got a funny feeling when she walked  
In the room and I,  
As I recall it ended much too soon.

Oh, what a night,  
Hypnotizing, mesmerizing me.  
She was everything I dreamed she'd be.  
Sweet surrender, what a night!

I felt a rush like a rolling bolt of thunder  
Spinnin' my head around and taking my body under.  
Oh, what a night!

Oh, I. I got a funny feeling when she walked  
In the room and…"

Rach spun around so quick she stumbled into the cupboard and dropped the knife she was holding, causing it to land in the sink with a loud clang. Her face a mask of surprise quickly changing to a beaming smile, when she saw me. It was my favourite Rachel Berry smile, one that I know is just for me.

"Hi baby girl whatcha doin?'" I asked, my voice taking on a playfull tone

All of a sudden I had the breath knocked out of my lungs as my petite beauty jumped into my arms and lovingly wrapping her arms around my neck, her silky coconut scented hair covering my face, pressed her soft strawberry lips against mine for a few minutes of intense exercise.

"Hi baby" she puffs out I missed you, then she must of realised I'd scared her and pouted at me saying, "It is not very nice to scare people like that Finn Hudson."

I lean in and kiss her again mumbling my apologies in to her vanilla scented skin my lips making a moist trail along the colum of her throat, smiling against her skin at her moans and the way her little body is trembling, with want. She arches her back giving me clear access to her boobs hidden from me, by the tiny tank top barely covering her. I slide one hand up from her butt slowly lifting said tank top , and bend my neck until my lips make contact with her warm skin, leaving little butterfly kisses along the length of her chest every now and then gently nipping her soft skin. ( I love the lotion or what ever she uses, but even after she has been sweating or hasn't showered she smells the same, huh it must be just her). My mouth closes over one round firm globe taking it completely into my mouth and I immediately start to suck gently, every so often pulling on her hard nipple with my teeth then running my tongue around it. Before switching sides. Loving the way my actions can drag such sexy moans from my love.

My back starts to cramp after a few minutes, so move one hand down under her butt and lift her up until our faces are level. Smiling at the frustated groan Rach makes when my mouth lets go of her breast, and lift her till she is sitting on the counter. Rach puts her legs around my waist and crosses her ankles', scooting her butt forward slightly until her center is pressing against the hard bulge in my loose sweat pants. Our mouth rejoin moving in a well practiced dance till a lack of air forces us apart.

"Mmmm, hi handsome.

"Hi yourself beautiful, I missed you today," I lean in for another soft kiss on the tip of her nose and just as I do my belly grumbles with hunger, Rach bursts into giggles as she unwraps her legs from my waist.

"Come on baby lets get you fed, before you collapse from hunger, I made your favorite fried chicken, mashed potatoes and coleslaw, then for desert apple turnovers."

"I love you Rach, you sure know that the right path to my heart…"

"Is through your stomach, yes I know honey, now come on Mr Hudson and tell me about your day." She giggles again as she takes my hand and leads me to our little dining table covered with a pretty cloth, that she decorated herself with small bunches of embroided tulips on each corner, and a small bunch of her favorite fresh light pink tulips in a little vase in the middle of the table. Then as I sit and watch her as she skips into our little kitchen, humming the same song she was singing when I walked in, the feeling of absoloute perfect happiness and peace washes over me, and the thought of spending the rest of my life like this with my tiny singing angel, makes me think that as long as I have her in my life everything will be ok.

XXXXX

All our old glee club friends were able to be at our wedding, well except Sam, he sorta dropped off the radar 'coz we haven't seen or heard from him since we graduated high school. Rach had chosen Mercedes and Tina as her bridesmaids, and I had Puck and Kurt as my groomsmen. Coach Beiste, Mr. and Mrs. Schue came as well as well as Mr. and Mrs. Hummel, Mrs. Puckerman and Joanie, Nana Hudson, Nanny and Poppy Mathews. The ceremony went by in a blur, but by far the best part was when Rabbi Unkerwitz, said I could kiss my bride, and I raised my left hand with my brand spanking new, gold wedding band glinting on my finger, up to cup my wife's tear streaked face and pressed my lips gently against hers, once, twice , three times. Whispering each time, "I love you so much baby, thank you for you."

Everything in my world was now absolutely perfect!

Through her tears, Rach giggled wetly saying, "I love you more than you will ever know, you are my home and my heart baby, without you I am nothing."

We kissed again and as we turned to walk out from under the Chuppah and back down the Aisle, all our guests cheered and clapped I looked over quickly at Mom, noticing the river of tears falling down her face, and my Dad with a puzzled look on his face handing over his handkerchief as if to ask. "Why you are crying it is a happy occasion". I sent her a beaming dimpled smile trying to let her know how happy I am.

The rest of the evening was just like a big party, we both danced with all our friends and our Grandparents. Poppy nearly fell off his walking frame when Rach asked him to sway with her. While I did sort of the same with Nanny and then Nana Hudson, who was most of the time trying to wipe her tears away, I was worried that my terrible dancing abilities had somehow squished the bunions on her feet or something.

Then she said, "I am just so very proud of you Finn, you have grown into a wonderful young man and so handsome just like your Dad, and now you are married to your beautiful Rachel. Who I must say from the very first time I met her I knew she was the one for you and I wish for nothing but happiness for you both for the future, I wish your granddad was here to see this because I know he would be just as proud. You will make a very fine police officer dear. Just promise me you will be safe."

I couldn't help but tear up a bit at Nana's words, I don't remember much about granddad Hudson, 'coz he passed away when I was only in grade school. He had been in the war and was ill for a long time, but dad always said he was a good man and that's where I must have got my musical talents from, as he was pretty darn good on his trumpet.

Sniffing away the lump of emotion stuck in my throat, "Thank you Nana, I know I am so lucky to have Rach and I promise to always do the right thing by her and be as safe as I can doing my job. Now I think I'd better go and save Rach as I think Poppy is just about to relive his youth and hijack my beautiful wife and pretend his walker is a super speed scooter and take her away from me."

I press a gentle kiss to Nana's wrinkled cheek smiling at her laughter just as the music stops, and guide her back to the table she was sharing with Mom, Dad, Nanny, and Poppy ( who I was pleased to see had returned my wife and now looked like he was about to fall asleep from his exertions). Hiram and Barbra had joined them, and they were all chatting like the good friends they had become over the years, over a cup of coffee.

I locked eyes with Rach over the table as we both reached out at the same time for the others hand, I pulled her arm so she swung against my chest and we just swayed on the spot to the slow music.

"Hello wife are you enjoying your self?"

"Why yes as a matter of fact I am husband, very much thank you for asking, though I really just want to disappear and get straight to the married sex part of the evening, do you think they would miss us if we left?

My loud booming laugh had a few of the guests' turning their heads towards Rach and me. Once I controlled my self, I leant down and kissed Rach murmuring against her mouth that yes I think they would but it was nearly time for all the speeches and toasts, then we could go. But I hope she wasn't planning on sleeping tonight as I had a very long list of things I wanted to _'discuss' _with her and she needed to be awake, and preferably naked as I didn't want anything between us to get in the way. She just giggled and discreetly rubbed her left hand over my groin her wedding bands bumping against the zipper of my tuxedo pants, causing me to groan loudly.

XXXXX

Late October 1964:

Can you believe it journal? (Sorry I've not written in you for a while but you have to understand man, me and Rach are newly weds and well … you know how it goes… or wait you can't can you? 'Coz you are a bundle of papers, er um I mean a book… sorry didn't mean to make you feel bad). Well anyway, Rachel and I have just celebrated our first wedding anniversary, and for a gift, Rach gave me a new journal, so this is the last time I will be writing on a loose page, I really must sit down and put all the other pages together in a file box or something so they don't get lost. But hey, at least now you have a friend to keep you company so maybe you can tell journal #3 all the background info on my life so far. I didn't even know she knew I had a book, but then I shouldn't really be surprised, 'coz after all she knows me better than I know myself. I gave her a set of cookbooks that she'd been hinting she wanted; telling her that I loved her cooking and didn't think she needed any help that comment earned me a hot make out as well as a special dinner. Who was a lucky man? Oh right me Finn Hudson go me.

I have been hearing things around the station and on the TV news about the strife in Vietnam and am worried that the USA will become involved. I overheard a couple of guys' at the coffee shop the other day saying they can get out of going if they are married or at college, I think that is wrong. I mean if a country as big and wealthy as America can't help a small one like Vietnam, who from what I can understand is fighting against itself, then something is seriously wrong. Rach and I have talked about the possibility of me being called up and if it happens then I will go and do my time. I won't like being away from her one little bit but feel it is my duty to help if I can, I told her could maybe join the motor pool or medical team, rather than be an actual soldier, but so far America is staying out of the war. In regards to me going to war, Rachel as expected isn't happy with my decision but knows if I do get called up I have to go and as she said it is only because she loves me so much and wants me to stay safe, but fully understands my reasoning and will stand by me.

We caught up with a few of our old glee club friends at Kurt's New Years Eve party and were very happy to see him and Blaine still together, thankfully societies views on homosexuality had changed a bit especially in San Francisco , where they now live. He was working as a fashion designer for Yves Saint-Laurent's west coast studio, and Blaine was in Advertising, but he wanted to have the party at home, in Lima as it coincided with his parents' 30th wedding anniversary and his Mom Elizabeth's 50th birthday in early January. The only one of the old crowd that wasn't there was Sam, but no one had heard from him for ages, he had been working for Mr. Hummel all through high school, then just up and left a couple of years ago.

We were very disturbed to hear that Tina and her family had been getting a hard time from anti war protesters, who haven't even bothered to realize she isn't even from North Vietnam but Korea (well she was born here in Lima but her parents came to the US after the Korean war as refugees).

_1965:_

"Finn are you home babe? Finny I've got some news to tell you"

I heard Rach yelling for me and raced up the stairs from the basement where I had been pounding away on my drums. Wondering what the devil was wrong, as she sounded panicked, I was on a week off and as Rach was on spring break from teaching her class of fourth graders, we were enjoying some quality time together.

"Rach what's wrong baby? Did something happen down town? Did you crash the car?"

"Finn Hudson are you insinuating I am a bad driver? I will have you know Mister that my driving record is impeccable…"

"Ok, ok I'm, sorry honey, now why don't we sit down and you can tell me your news." I say putting my hands up in front of me trying to placate her. Taking her tiny hand in mine, I guide her over to our comfy flower patterned sofa and sit down pulling her to my lap, only to have her turn her self around so she is straddling me.

"Um… well you know I went to see Dr. Halliwell this morning right for a checkup?" I nod my head running my hand along her face before asking, smiling when she turns her face to press a kiss on my palm, before watching my face intently.

"Yeah is everything ok? You haven't caught any of those nasty bugs or school sores your kids at school keep passing around have you?" my tone changes to one of worry "'coz some of those little kiddies have…, let me just say less than ideal hygiene habits." I cringe and scrunch my nose with distaste at the thought of what those kids do with their hands and noses and other parts of their bodies ugh.

She giggles and pulls her bottom lip into her mouth with her teeth then looks at me with soft eyes shaking her head causing her long brunette tresses to fall over her shoulder and release my favorite coconut scent.

"No baby I didn't catch anything from my kids at school. It was … um… you gave it to me actually…"

I looked at my tiny wife and was lost for words feeling sick at the thought I'd made my beautiful girl sick. "Oh shit baby I'm so sorry did the doctor give you anything … do I need to go and get a shot or something? Wait you will get better won't you, man I can't believe I made you sick..."

I take a deep breath and focus on her face,

She giggles again and brings her tiny hands up to cup my face and pressing her lips on mine to stop my ranting, I try to move my face as much as I want to kiss her I don't to make her illness worse. "Babe is it safe…?"

"Finny, I am fine I am just going to gain a bit of weight in the coming months and Dr Halliwell has given me some tablets to help keep me strong,"

She again leans in to kiss me and this time her hands are finding their way to the buttons on my shirt. I press my hands over hers to halt their movements and level her with a look, "please baby, just tell me what's wrong with you, please I can't take much more suspense…"

Through a loud burst of teary giggles she blurts out "I am pregnant Finny; we are going to have a baby, baby a little Finchel baby, in about 7 months."

My voice has somehow got lost between my throat and my mouth and I just sit and stare at Rach with my mouth open and moving, then all of a sudden, I feel her forefinger wiping across my cheek and her soft lips pressing against mine. As I am brought back to the living world, the information finally sinking in "I-I'm gonna be a D-Daddy? With you we are gonna have a baby, a-a real life me an' you baby?"

Another wet giggle and animated head nodding Rach says lovingly "Yes honey we are having a real life baby"

My hands then move to her belly and as one lifts the hem of her little mini dress, my other is gently rubbing her bare tummy. I can't help the new batch of tears than are running unchecked down my face, I am just so happy.

I lift her off my lap and lay her down on the cushions, kneeling on the floor next to her. I first kiss her on the mouth then press a series of little butterfly kisses over her bare belly whispering "hi baby I'm your Daddy, I promise to do my very best to look after you and your beautiful Mommy. I love you so very much baby and I can't wait for you to arrive so we can love you even more."

I look up again at Rach and start to sing the words just coming to me from out of nowhere but they are perfect for what I want to say.

"_Havin my baby_

_What a lovely way of sayin'_

_How much you love me_

_Havin' my baby_

_What a lovely way of sayin' _

_What you're thinkin' of me_

_I can see it, your face is glowin'_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_I'm happy you know it_

_That you're havin' my baby_

_You're the woman I love_

_And I love what it's doin' to ya_

_The need inside you_

_I see it showin'_

_Whoa, the seed inside ya_

_Baby do you feel it growin'_

_Are you happy you know it_

_That you're havin my baby_

_Havin my baby…"_

"I love you Rach and this is the best present you could ever give me, and I promise with everything I have to be the best father I can be… thank you baby."

"Oh baby thank you and I love you, I know you will be an excellent daddy and I also promise to do my best to be a good mommy and also make time for my handsome sexy husband, who I cannot wait to take this wonderful journey with and I have to say honey that song was just perfect. You should write it down maybe one day it will be a hit."

XXXXX

I think I was floating in the weeks after Rach told me she was pregnant, I was so happy I didn't think anything could bring me down I was singing all the time, and my buddies down at the station started to call me Mr. Music. They were all happy for me once I told them the news I was spending a lot of my free time on my drums. In addition to my playing, I had started to write little verses of songs as they came to me some were just silly little drabbles but I did manage to write a pretty decent song, it was like the 'havin my baby' one I sang to Rach, in the sense that the words just came to me. I called it pretending and the first verse goes like this

'_Face to Face and heart to heart_

_We're so close yet so far apart_

_I close my eyes I look away_

_That's just because I'm not okay_

_But I hold on, I stay strong_

_Wondering if we still belong'_

I sang it to Rach and she loved it, saying it sounded like a song for a couple getting back together after a breakup and if it were us there would be no way she could resist just up and kissing me, regardless of who was watching.

Rach was doing well with her pregnancy and after some morning sickness she just seemed to glow and we spent a lot of time looking at nursery furniture and decorating books at the paint store, and every month closer to our baby's arrival, we got more excited.

Xxxxx

While out on regular patrol I came across an auto accident on highway 90, I called it in over my two way radio and while I waited for the ambulance to arrive I did what I could to help. But as soon as I saw the driver of the fancy sports car my heart jumped into my throat… because laying on the blacktop, blood gushing from a deep gash in the young man's forehead and from what I can tell at first glance he has a broken leg and right arm. Is my old band mate from The Gr8 Buck's, Todd Greggory. I can smell the booze on him as I try to talk to him and find out what he was doing driving drunk knowing I will have to book him, but more concerned that he is hurt.

I try to make him comfortable and after grabbing the emergency kit from my motorcycle, splinting his leg and arm and putting a thick bandage around his head I start to talk.

"Todd man it's Finn, Finn Hudson, how ya doin' dude? It was then I noticed Todd was dressed all-fancy and not far from where he was laying was a now broken guitar and a bundle of playbills advertising a music concert in Toledo the next weekend.

"H-hey Huddy, what's happenin' man? Hey you made the force I see good on ya bro, ya know if ya still wanna pound on ya skins I can put in a good word with management group and they could get ya a cool gig man"

"Nah buddy thanks anyway, I'm happy being a cop 'specially now I'm married and got a little one on the way."

"Yeah ya get hitched to that little brunette beauty you were with in college er… Rebecca… Rhonda? "

"Yeah man Rachel, been married 'bout a year and a half now and she's about three and a half months along. So what have you been up to man? By the look of these here playbills you've hit the big time, good for you, though I gotta tell ya if you are gonna drink you have like take a tour bus or at least have a driver man , 'an ya know I gotta give you a ticket don't you? "

Todd just nods his head before rolling over onto his side and throwing up all over the road. I give him a drink of water and before long, the ambulance arrives to take him to Lima county Hospital

I find out later after visiting Todd in the hospital that he left the fire department when the band, was picked up by a label, and made part of a travelling show that included many popular bands and solo singers.

I remembered taking Rach to one over in Canton Ohio, about 2 hours east of home when we were in their senior year of high school; it was an early Valentines Day treat, as Rach's favorites Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper were slated to play in the Winter Dance Party. Sadly, however they never made the Ohio gig as the three and their pilot died in a tragic plane crash due to a combination of extremely bad weather conditions and flying at night. The accident happened early February just out side of Clear Lake Iowa.

At the time, I couldn't believe the news, it was such a waste and they were the leaders of the newly emerging rock and roll music scene. The concert obviously went ahead, but it was not as much fun, as it should have been and the loss of those three talented performers. I think changed the world, or more like the innocence had been taken away, it was to be known many years later as _'The day the music died'. _I always interpreted that to mean that we have to, not be afraid to experience all we can or be who we honestly are deep down, because you just never know what the future holds.

But as long as the music continues to play within us, we will be ok ….

When Rach is about 4 months along and so proud of her little baby belly, taking every opportunity to show it off she is absolutely beautiful. I tell her she is glowing. She is now over her morning sickness and I gotta say I am so thankful, 'coz it is enough to scare the strongest of men. I was totally enjoying the next stage though because it brought out Rachel's sexy side, and man let me tell ya I was surprised some days she allowed me to even get through the front door before she was trying to drag my giant ass to our bedroom and have her way with me. Not that there were ever any complaints from me I just gave her what she wanted and pregnancy was certainly in no way diminishing her gag reflex. I was in two minds to keep her continually pregnant but that is such a chauvinistic attitude and totally not me at all, I just enjoyed it and gave back as much. Hearing my beautiful girl scream my name as she reached the heights of ecstasy was enough for me.

I arrived home from work on a Thursday worried, as there were no lights on or any music playing, rushing through the house yelling for Rach at the top of my voice. I finally found her curled up in a corner of the nursery with a piece of paper clutched in her little hand and her face a mask of devastation and utter sadness.

In a strangled voice, I asked "Rach? Honey what's the matter is it the baby?"

She shook her head and raised her face to look at me holding out the paper with a shaky hand and in that moment I knew they were my draft papers sending me to Vietnam.

"Oh honey I'm sorry " I sat down next to her and pulled her shaking, sobbing pajama clad body onto my lap and held her as tight as I could kissing her tear streaked face, not bothering to wipe my own that were falling hot and fast down my cheeks and dripping into her hair. We didn't move from our spot in the half-decorated nursery, for what seemed like hours. Somewhere around midnight I think it was, I stood up and gently carried Rach to bed and after undressing down to my boxers climbed in beside her pulling her as close as possible wanting to feel her warm body and heart beat for as long as possible. As much as I wanted to help the South Vietnamese people, I really didn't want to leave my family.

After many days of tears and heated discussions, we made our peace with the decision that we had talked about in an abstract way months ago and just made the most of the time we had left. I was only supposed to be gone for two years, and according to my draft papers, I was to be stationed at a first aid post. My training as a first aider and motorcycle cop worked in my favor as I would be away from the direct line of fire but still able to get to the wounded guys, on a motorcycle quickly without attracting too much enemy attention.

There is concert at the Lima town hall a week before I am due to be shipped out. I decided to take Rach to try and make my last couple of days at home happy ones and as we both love music I thought it was a perfect distraction, I saw on the bill, my old band The** Gr8 Buck's** from college were playing. Rach and I met them back stage and had a few minutes to catch up before the show. I was glad to see Todd had slowed down with his drinking and laughed as he made a point of saying that his girl Miranda was now his driver.

As we enter the hall through the front doors and hand over our tickets all we can see are army recruiting posters, ( the hall is also the local recruiting office for the Lima area) covered in red paint, saying things like '_War is stupid, what is it good for?'_ and '_Draft beer not boys', 'send tractors not tanks'_ . But the one that really got to me probably because I was nearly a father myself, was a picture of about a dozen babies all laying in a row, with a wooden cross next to each of them and the words '_See what you have done'_.

I didn't understand the hate directed against the army, we were going to help the people not hurt them and the fact I was going as a medic and not a soldier made me so angry that, I couldn't enjoy the night as I wanted to. Once we get outside afterwards, people are going crazy because, a group of protesters outside the function center started to heckle me the other guys' wrongly assuming we had just joined up and called us "baby killers', and "livelihood destroyers", and other horrible things. I wrap my arms around Rach's shoulders and try to protect her with my body as we make our way to the car. She has her cardigan folded into a ball and holding it in her arms crossed over her little baby bump protecting her precious cargo.

"Finn, why are these people saying such nasty things? You are nothing like that and…"

Then in a sudden attack I have a bucket of red liquid thrown over me and in the resulting melee Rach is knocked to the ground and kicked in the stomach, also verbally abused for being with a murdering bastard and she should be ashamed, she tries to stand up for me and is punched in the face. The aftermath of the incident causes Rach to lose our baby, (she was just five months pregnant) and once we arrived at the hospital and the baby delivered we found out it was a girl. We are totally devastated by this and knowing I have to leave her to cope on her own so soon, it was bad enough when I knew I wouldn't be home when our baby was born , but to leave when my wife needs me, it is too fucking much. Rach is blaming herself and shuts me out but I know she did nothing wrong.

I spend the whole time Rach is in the hospital by her bedside bawling like a baby, I know she is hurting but it was my baby too and I want to help her but just don't know how!

"Rach please talk to me, honey please believe me that I don't blame you one little bit. I would never, and it's killing me knowing I have to leave so soon, but I don't want to leave with things like this, please baby talk to me, or scream or even hit me I don't care just please look at me. Please Rach" I get up from the chair and walk around to the other side of the bed and sit next to her taking her hand in my shaking one, rubbing my thumb over her wedding bands. "Please honey, I'm begging you talk to me." I close my eyes and hang my head feeling the hot tears dripping of my chin that I can't be bothered to wipe away.

"Carolyn Barbra"

I jerk my head up, looking at my tiny wife, looking even tinier in the bed, and notice the sad smile on her tear-streaked face.

"I wanted to call her Carolyn Barbra after our Moms' … I'm so sorry I've been shutting you out baby I didn't mean too i-I just don't know what to feel, can you please hold me and tell me you still love me even after I lost our baby."

The second I wrapped my arms around her and felt hers grip my shirt so tightly she broke down in to loud gasping air stealing sobs, causing my heart to break for her. I held her as tight as I could without hurting her fragile body and whispered into her neck, "There was no way I would stop loving her and as for loosing the baby that was not her fault in any way." I joined her as I sobbed for our loss

As we lay there in that tiny hospital bed I, think back to the note Nana Hudson wrote in my very first journal in freshman year of high school.

'_Always keep the music in your heart dear, it can guide you through the worst times and make the good times even better.'_

I had to disagree with her on that because I don't know how music in any form can ever take away the sadness Rach and I are feeling at the loss of our tiny innocent baby girl, and the fact I am leaving her to cope on her own for at least two years, music is the last thing I'm thinking about because when I play my drums or hear Rach's beautiful voice I feel happy and carefree but where I'm going will be neither and the fact I will be away from from my heart is enough to make me never want to hear another note.

***XXXXX***

A/N: Please don't hate me, for leaving it there but I felt the next chapter needed to be on its own, but I promise things will look up for our Finchel by the end, but I think you get the gist of what factors contributed to his shut down.

I know most of the songs' used in this chapter were not released until the 1970's or later, but they suited the story and are some of my favorites.

Please review and let me know your thoughts, probably only one or two more and an epilogue to go, not sure yet, but I hope you stay with me until the end.

_*December 1963-Oh what a night: written by Bob Gaudio - preformed by Frankie Vali and The Four Seasons 1975_

_*Your having my baby: Paul Anka 1974_

_* Pretending: Glee cast _


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Again, thanks for the reviews on this story. I hope this chapter is up to your expectations. **

**I own nothing except the plot, OC's and any mistakes. I have tried to keep this story factual in regards to certain things but if there is something glaringly wrong please forgive me or let me know for future reference.**

**cab4five **

_***xxxxx***_

**Chapter VIII**

_Vietnam: 1966_

_Dear journal _

This place is hell, without sounding like a whiney kid; I want to get the fuck out of this place ASAP. As you know journal, I am a medic at the 163rd not that far from the front at a place called China Beach in Da Nang, in Vietnam. Which itself is a real nice stretch of coastline, with white sand and tall waving palm trees. At any other time, I would probably like to bring Rach here for a long vacation.

I can just see her sexy bikini clad body lying on a towel, her long hair wrapped in one of her pretty cotton scarf thingies ("it is called a turban Finny" she would say rolling her big chocolate eyes at my lack of knowledge about ladies fashions. Hey, if she is wearing it, it looks good I don't need to know what it is called). Her oversized sunglasses perched on her little face, soaking up the warm rays and turning her smooth tanned skin an even darker honey color. Her full pink lips wrapped around the straw stuck in one of those fancy drinks, with one of those little umbrellas and some fruit stuck on the side. She would be pouting and pestering me and saying in her _'don't mess with me Finn Hudson voice, every 5 minutes to ensure I kept reapplying my sun cream, so my pasty white skin didn't turn lobster red and fall off my body in great shriveled sheets'_, then rewarding me with little kisses all over my face. Sending me a smug smile because she got her way, GOD I MISS HER SO FREAKIN" MUCH!

However, at the moment, I can't appreciate the beauty of the place; all I see are injured soldiers. Or a fresh batch of newbie's' passing through. Everyday there are more and more local people, turning up asking for help and food. Some injured, many others homeless, so many innocent little kiddies some with missing limbs from stepping on land mines, and so many without parents. All being cared for by the nuns from the local church and every time I see, one of their sad little faces. My heart breaks, remembering about the baby girl Rachel and I lost. But it is more the way it happened, and my anger rises, she would have been just celebrating her first birthday and probably walking around, chatting and most likely '_singing'_ with Rach as they danced around our house. I bet she would have been as beautiful as her Mommy is. I know Rach and I can make another baby… hell we could have a dozen more, but it won't ever be the same, none as much as we will love them to bits, will ever replace our Carolyn Barbra. Whom we never even got the chance to meet.

I'm glad you came along for the ride little book, it helps me get through the hell. That and my beautiful Rach's words, you know what she wrote journal but I like to read it everyday anyway. 'Coz I can hear her sweet voice in my head giving me the courage I need to cope and survive this place for another 11 months. Then I can go home to her and pick up my life.

_To my darling husband,_

_I hope by writing in this new journal it will help you deal with everything you are going through wherever you are stationed in Vietnam, and give you the strength to do your duty so you can come home to me and our lives can continue together. Just know my love there is not one second of the day or night that I am not thinking about you, hoping and praying you are safe and well. My heart hurts in your absence baby, and I worry non-stop about you but I know the tether we have between us will see us through this hardship and separation, and when your time is done, it will bring you safely home to me._

_Take care of your self my darling, I know with certainty that where you are going, will not be a picnic by any means, but I am positive you will be the best medic there. Doing the best job, you can helping your team mates, and become the true leader I have always known you to be. Please stay safe and write me when you can. I promise to write you every single day so you do not miss knowing what is going on in my life._

_I love you Finn Hudson faithfully and until the twelfth of never,_

_Remember we are Finchel, which equals ENDGAME._

_Love always yours only Rachel xxxxx_

_Lima - Ohio 1965_

_XXXXX_

_July: 1966_

It is hard to keep up with the changing of the days in this place 'coz the medical team work around the clock 7 days a week. Everyday is the same help the wounded enough to be flown out by the evac chopper to the main hospital at Clark Air force base in the Philippines, which is about 1,000 miles away. Or just enough to let the poor guys' pass in peace, although I am pleased to say, we have a pretty successful recovery rate, but some times there is just nothing we can do so we…, well the nurses led by head nurse Colleen McMurphy ( who are a great bunch of girls) write letters for them or sit and talk.

I made friends with a couple of guys' at boot camp. Who also ended up here, one is from Australia named Bluey Waters, which I find funny he has a thick mop of red hair and a big bushy red beard. When I asked him why he was called Bluey, he said that Down Under people are given a nickname that is the opposite of what is obvious. The other is from the Motor City Detroit in the States, called Jerry Posey. We got on so well, it was as if we'd known each other for years, we don't have that much free time but when we do, we spend it mostly talking about home and bragging about our girls. Bluey has two daughters and a son who are all in high school. Jerry is engaged to his college sweetheart. I of course talk about my tiny beautiful songbird.

On our first 2 day, R &amp; R leave in Hong Kong. I picked up a couple of nice things for Rach, like a nice new gold Seiko wristwatch, a pretty dress that was called a cheongsam, in a silky red material with dragons all over it and gold braiding around the edges of the sleeves and the thigh high slits up the sides. (A sudden thought of my beautiful Rach wearing that dress, made me nearly catch the next plane home not caring about being AWOL), and a top of the range movie camera. Then after a couple of beers, we went and got tattoos' on our last night of leave.

I got a tribal patterned band around my right bicep and a gold star with _Carolyn Barbra, _written in a fancy font inside it over my heart. Jerry said with a laugh that he thought my girls name was Rachel and won't she pissed with me for getting some other girl's name inked on my body? I quietly explained that it was for our baby girl, and the circumstances that led to our loss.

Poor Jerry didn't know where to look then and he said he felt awful for saying that. I told him it wasn't his fault as he didn't know, and to not worry about it. Bluey understood, as he was a father, but also about coping with the loss of a baby, as he and his wife had lost their last baby, who was perfectly healthy, in his sleep a couple of months after he was born.

We only had a couple of hours of leave left by the time we'd all finished at the tattoo place so we wandered a bit till we found a place to eat and enjoyed a couple more beers. Thankful for the down time, we met up about 6 pm with our buddies' at the airport, for the flight back to camp and the same old hell.

Our camp is … what can I say…, a little town of tents. We have a bar of sorts called the Officers club, but everyone can go there, that has a juke box and a pool table, but I don't go there much as the music means good times, and I can't find it in me to be happy, there are even a couple of '_business ladies'. _Not that I'd ever even entertain the thought of visiting them either, because for one they aren't my Rachel and two sex is another thing I'm not interested in 'coz that also means happy and Rach is the only woman who has ever made me feel happy in that way. Though they always manage to find, and proposition me, and each and every time I just hold up my left hand showing my wedding ring and shake my head saying "sorry ladies I'm not interested." I do have to chuckle at their pouting faces and deep sighs, but they quickly find other guys' to '_do business with'._

I just do my job, then go back to my tent, (I don't even talk much to my tent mate, as most of his free time is spent with the _'ladies' or at the bar_) and re-read my letters from Rach. She is so descriptive in her words, I feel like I'm there, cuddled up next to her on our flowery sofa, in our home on Bluebird Avenue. Sometimes I take the lot of them and find a quiet spot by the water and read them aloud, it somehow makes me feel closer to her. I've even tried to imitate her beautiful voice, but I ended up sounding like a really bad drag queen with a heavy cold, so I use my own.

Today has been a lot quieter compared to most and after I'd finished my duties I grabbed the little leather suitcase, I kept my journals and all Rachel's letters and photographs in. Made my way to my favorite spot just back from the water's edge under the canopy of trees, I rested my back against the trunk of my usual tree. Pulling out the very first letter, (making sure not to muck up the order they are in but just to make sure I write the number on the page) I received from Rach. The second my eyes landed on her curly perfect handwriting, covering the sheet of soft pink paper that even had her flowery scent still. My tears started to fall unchecked as I read, I am not ashamed to cry, it was more I couldn't help it, my emotions were all over the place and I just missed my Rach so fucking much, plain and simple.

_My darling Finn_

_How are you my love? I know that is probably a silly question, because you are there being strong and brave helping all those poor soldiers and I am sure the local people as well._

_Things in Lima are much the same, my fourth graders are practicing very hard for our school's thanksgiving concert, and I have to say love, it brightens my heart to see the joy on their little faces when they can say all their lines without bursting in to fits of the giggles, especially little Mary Robson. Who is the turkey, the way she struts around shaking her tail feathers' (I think she might just have a future on stage as a dancer someday ha, ha)._

_It is starting to get colder now and I must remember to call the wood deliveryman and get a load before too much longer. Speaking of the weather, what is it like where you are? I did go to the local library to look up Vietnam and found the area you are in is on the coast, and I suppose tropical, please make sure you keep protected from the mosquitoes and the sun honey, you know how quickly you burn. Are you eating well? What is the food like? I will bake you a special batch of sugar cookies and send with the next care package, I would put some banana bread in, because that is your favorite baby, but I do not think it will travel well. _

_Most nights I make too much dinner, just out of habit I guess and obviously I can't eat it all, so I make up a plate and take it next door to old 'Patches' as you know Mrs. Patchel passed away last year and the poor man has been so lost. He spends quite a lot of time in the park by the library sitting on the bench during the day. However, he is always so very thankful and seems to enjoy the food I take him, and yesterday he even had the cheek to ask if I knew how to make beef Wellington, so I will check out the meat price next time I go to the market. I think I will make some spaghetti and meat balls tonight I trust he will enjoy that. He repays me by looking after the yard work, as much as he is able to and each day says to say hello to you and hopes you are well. _

_Anyway back to more important matters honey, sorry for rambling on so but the distance between us seems smaller if I can talk to you as if you were here next to me._

_Your Mom called the other day on the telephone to say they would be arriving a couple of days before Thanksgiving and would be staying for a week or so, I tried to talk them into staying until after Christmas and New Years but Carole said they didn't want to intrude . I told her it was not an intrusion, by any stretch of the imagination it is always a pleasure, and I really felt the need to be close to them during your favorite holiday, so to please consider it. _

_She and your Dad are well and really enjoying, their semi retirement down in Florida. Your Mom said she is working part time at a hospital, mainly with the returned soldiers, and your Dad has found a paid position with the YMCA and local education board, running sport camps, clinics, and such for kids. She also said she would like to hear from you, so maybe you could drop her a few lines hmm? If it makes it easier, and saves time, you could include it in my letters and I will forward it on._

_I know Christmas is your favorite holiday baby but with luck, this will be the last one you will be away for. I have been buying sets of those pretty lights you like and I even found some delightful garden ornaments, just like those ones we liked at the Shawcross's place back in High School, do you remember our first Christmas babe? It is my all time favorite. I know it is extravagant to spend the money but it makes me happy and somehow closer to you. However, I decided I am not going to put them up until you come home and we can do it together._

_I am doing ok; well physically, I am all healed. Still terribly sad but I know you are as well; I go every Sunday and talk to her. I even took a little candle and holder that I attached to her headstone that I light and say prayers over. I always make sure to tell her about her brave, handsome, Daddy and how very soon, he will come home and visit her... I am sorry honey for sounding so morbid, when this letter is supposed to cheer you up. I cannot help it as; I do not want to ever forget our baby girl._

_Anyway my love I hope these words sent with love from me gives you the courage to stay strong in what I can only imagine is an extremely difficult situation, just always know you are never far from my thoughts or my heart. Each day I feel the tether pulling tighter, knowing we will be reunited in less than 730 days,( I think it sounds so much less than saying two years) and nothing will ever again separate us. _

'_Love you always Finny, yours forever Rachel xxx _

_Lima, 10 October 1965_

_Ps: Happy anniversary baby, I pulled our wedding album out and spent the evening in bed looking at it and must of dozed off because when I woke up in the morning, it was still wrapped tightly in my arms. I was wishing with everything I had, that it were you instead._

_XXXXX_

February 1966:

After one battle as I was organizing triage for the recent influx of wounded, I came across my old high school friend and back up QB, Sam Evans who had been horribly injured by a land mine. (He had lost both legs) and was pretty cut up from shrapnel, I was desperate to save him, begging the doctors to make him ok, and deciding to stay with him until the chopper was ready to leave taking the worst cases to the main hospital. I had seen plenty of guys hurt and even had some die as I held them, and I was finding it hard to cope with all the death and the vast number of strong young guys cut down before their lives could even get started. However, to actually know one was nearly tipping me over the edge. I tried to be strong for Sam's sake and as we had not seen each other much in the past years, I wanted to know all about his life, hoping by spending his possible last hours reminiscing, and with a friend, he might find peace. So in short halting bursts Sam was able to tell me about what he'd been doin' since high school.

"Oh man where do I start? Well in the last weeks of senior year of high school, Quinn Fabray tells me she is pregnant. I was racking my brain wondering how she is pregnant with my kid, when I can't even remember us doing it. She told me it was after the championship game when I was drunk off my face."

"Oh man! I'm sorry dude, I mean I know you went to senior prom together, but you never looked as though you were … um really enjoying yourself man, didn't know you were that serious about her"

I said as I helped Sam have a tiny sip of water and hoped that the evac chopper would hurry up so he could get to the base hospital

"Yeah well anyway, after her father pretty much threatened me and my family with total ruin if I didn't marry her, which by the way was a quick registry office job down in Cinci. I started working at a garage in Toledo owned by a friend of Mr. Fabray, while Quinn started working with her mother in her real estate office and earning her realtor's license. Then she later took over the business, after changing the name to Fabray-Evans. I was _'allowed' _to come back to Lima after the summer once the new school year started. Mr. Fabray then got me a job working for some other business acquaintance at his car lot. I guess I was doing ok, I mean I'd always thought Quinn was a real looker, and yeah I know she was horrible to everyone in glee 'specially Rachel and was forever chasing you man, but we got along ok. I'd gotten used to the idea of being a Dad by this time and was pretty excited about it. I'd even picked out a really cool name… Summer-Ocean Evans, thinking that as Quinn and I were both blue eyed blondes and people always said I looked like a surfer dude, I figured the baby would be blonde too, and Summer is like a cool beach type name right?"

I nod my head in agreement that it was a cool name "So what happened man?"

"Yeah so anyway once the baby was born and it was a boy with dark hair and eyes, Quinn decided he was gonna be called Jay Fabray-Evans, and well after going through, the birthin' business 'an all that, I couldn't say no.

"Everything was going well for about two years, 'cept our sex life was pretty much when she decided and besides our wedding night Though when I think back I was pretty sure that was my first time because I'm sure I could remember feeling so freaking good about it maybe a bit nervous but yeah... Then after that, the occasions were nonexistent. As she always had an excuse either she was too tired or she had a headache or the baby needed her or she was still _'recovering down_ _there'_ from the birth. Then angry Quinn would come to visit and start yelling at me for my chauvinistic pestering her for sex when obviously I'd already had my dirty way with her, and how she was more than a toy for me to use whenever I wanted.

Man I was getting a bit tired of jerking off in the shower everyday, but what else could I do man I wasn't gonna force her or cheat with a random hook up ."

"Shit dude that a tough break" I said again offering him a small sip of water thankful my Rach was as much in favor of our lovemaking as I, and quite often instigated our special play time. The only time was when she was on her monthly ladies time and I knew to just hug her at night and tell her I loved her or offer her a hot water bottle to put on her belly to help with the cramps.

Sam continues, "I found out after she got a little bit tipsy at her parents anniversary when Jay was two that he wasn't even mine and once I dragged the truth out of her. Quinn said that she was not sure after that football party in senior year, who she had slept with, but as she had always thought I was a nice guy and would be a good provider she chose me. I finally get the story that she slept with that fucker Randy Jefferson. Well after that little reveal, I promptly packed my bags and moved out then filed for a divorce ASAP. And as soon as I signed the damn papers I joined the army swearing to stay the hell away from Lima just in case I ran into that lying manipulating bitch, though I do feel sorry for Jay, the poor kid doesn't deserve to be lied to like that."

"Oh man I don't know what to say Sammy, but you need to rest up now the chopper shouldn't be too long and the guys will get you to the base hospital and get you fixed up ok?"

All the talking had used up most of Sam's strength, so I helped him get comfortable again and told him all about Rach and my job as a motorcycle cop. However, I could see he was failing. I was willing the damn chopper to hurry the fuck up, so I swallowed my disinterest in all things musical and started to sing one of our favourite competition winning songs from glee club…

"… _Midnight, one more night without sleeping_

_Watching till the morning comes creeping._

_Green door what's that secret you're keeping_

_There's an old piano_

_And they play it hot behind the green door_

_Don't know what they're doing_

_But they laugh a lot behind the green door_

_Wish they'd let me in _

_So I can find out what's behind the green door…"_

Sam reaches out his hand for me and I move as close as I can, and through my tears, I lock my brown eyes with his glazed blue ones. Squeezing his hand and begging him to hang in there, he lifts his head as much as he can, the effort sapping the little strength he has left and he whispers brokenly to me.

"Thanks Finn… k-keep pounding them drums man."

"Yo Huddy time to let us take your buddy man, chopper's leaving."

"About time flyboy" I turn back to Sam and say softly "you gotta go with Duke now Sammy and let the docs fix you up, I might need backup one day, see you back in Lima man."

For the rest of that day I was like a zombie, doing what I was trained to do, and that was it. I couldn't get my mind off Sam's face as they took him on the stretcher and locked him in the capsule on the chopper, hoping Duke got him to the hospital.

I found out a few days later that the chopper taking Sam to the mainland had been shot down and none of the guy's made it. Now every time I hear the song green door on the radio I get angry and storm out of the room usually kicking over the nearest chair, or whatever is in my way. I wonder how music can get me through these sad times. I always felt so happy singing and listening to music and more so when Rach was singing. Now after witnessing so much death and suffering over the past 2 years the only feelings it brings are sad ones tainting forever my love of music and happy memories.

XxxxX

_(Letter from Rachel: October 1967)_

_My Darling Finn,_

_Hello my love, I hope this finds you well and most probably just as excited as I am for your imminent return home. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms and 'love' you. I have organized a week's leave from school so I can meet you at the airport in Dayton as soon as you know the exact day and time of your arrival please let me know, although I will be impatiently waiting regardless of the time. I am hoping this be one of the last letters I write, as the next long conversation will be face to face. I am planning to have an uninterrupted day locked in our bedroom, showing you how much I have missed you and maybe… well not maybe most definitely trying some of those different activities from our little book, what do you think love? _

_Things here in Lima are still the same, and just like a small town the gossipmongers abound, the latest 'story' in the newspaper is about Mrs. Brownlee running off to Cinci with her neighbor Mr. Throstle, while their other halves were out with the grandchildren and their bridge club. I have a feeling that Jacob Ben-Israel is behind the 'discovery' as he always had an exceptional if not slimy way of getting 'information' on other people. But the joke was on him because as it turns out Mrs. Brownlee was just accompanying Mr. Throstle ( she had been his best friend since grade school) to help him pick out the special Silver wedding anniversary gift for Mrs. Throstle and all parties except Mrs. T knew what was going on. It was rather funny reading the retraction Jacob was forced to write, after he was threatened with legal action for slander. _

_I was very surprised yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon at the market; I had stopped in after school, as you know I normally make my market trips on a Friday. but I'd run out of a few baking ingredients and other things and, as the weather was still quite pleasant I wanted to spend some time in the garden on my time off, rather than the market._

_Well, I saw the last person; I expected to see… Quinn Fabray, right there in the produce section dressed as though she had just stepped out of a fashion magazine,( she still looked as though she thought she was doing the place a favor by stepping inside) we were both reaching for the same bunch of bananas that were on special, two pounds for only 19 cents. So I wanted to get a few extra (you know how I love bananas) of course I made no move to be the first to offer a greeting (I can still clearly remember her abominable behavior in high school. However, she did not even appear to recognize me( for which I was most thankful for), so I continued with my shopping, I was also able to get on special some grapes, those nice steaks you like, some hamburger mince and a quite large beef roast, all of which I will put in the deep freeze for your homecoming dinner. Then as I was leaving the market and pushing my cart to the car. (Most days I ride my pushbike, as it saves on gas, which is now about 30 cents a gallon, unless I have to take marking home or on market days). _

_As I was loading my bags into the trunk, I spotted Quinn again a couple of spaces away with a little dark haired boy who looked vaguely familiar and who I surmised to be about six or seven years old. The strange thing was, well perhaps not so strange, was that he called her Mom. She was not wearing a wedding band either so I wonder who took up with her. I hope it was not any of our friends from High school. I do not recall seeing her or her son at our school, but perhaps I will ask, if I remember to, Mary Martin the first grade teacher if she knows her. Not that you are interested in that woman's business. However, as much as I despise it, any gossip about her might be interesting and maybe karma has come back and kicked her in her bitchy butt. _

_Your parents are again coming for Thanksgiving and without even asking it your Mom said that would stay until Christmas and New Year, as your homecoming was a very special occasion. They will again move into the basement, it will be so good to see them again. I also heard from my parents who are at this moment somewhere in France, Mom's Mother was from there and it appears they are able to stay without fear of overstaying their travel Visa's. So goodness knows when or if they will return to America. Daddy has even found a job working with a bank and they live in a little château surrounded by grape vines. The photographs she sent me are beautiful, maybe one day we can go for a vacation there._

_I have been trying my hand at song writing and I came up with this the other day what do you think honey?_

"_Highway run  
Into the midnight sun  
Wheels go round and round  
You're on my mind  
Restless hearts  
Sleep alone tonight  
Sending all my love  
Along the wire_

They say that the road  
Ain't no place to start a family  
Right down the line  
It's been you and me  
And lovin' a music man  
Ain't always what it's supposed to be  
Oh, boy, you stand by me  
I'm forever yours  
Faithfully

Circus life  
Under the big top world  
We all need the clowns  
To make us smile  
Through space and time  
Always another show  
Wondering where I am  
Lost without you

And being apart  
Ain't easy on this love affair  
Two strangers learn to fall in love again  
I get the joy of rediscovering you  
Oh, boy, you stand by me  
I'm forever yours  
Faithfully

Whooa, oh-oh-ooh  
Whooa, oh-oh-ooh, oh  
Whooa, oh-oh-oh, oh-whoooooa-oh  
Faithfully  
I'm still yours

I'm forever yours  
Ever yours  
Faithfully…"

_Anyway baby, keep safe and send me your travel details as soon as possible, I cannot wait to see you honey I love you Finn Hudson with all my heart and soul. I will see you very soon._

_Love always, forever and faithfully_

_Your one and only Rachel Hudson XXXXX _

_XXXXX_

October 1967: Three weeks before Finn's tour of duty is done

"Huddy where is your lanky ass at?"

I was in the latrine when I heard the Captain yelling my name, quickly finishing up; I got dressed and raced outside to find out what the fuss was.

"You looking for me Captain?" I asked saluting him

"Yeah Huddy we need you man, the 63rd just called through saying they were holed up with a couple of guys who are hurt bad and their medic is out for the count with fucking dysentery, so they need you up there . Here's the injury list so pack as much as you can on your bike and hightail it up there we are trying to organize some help this end from the 114th, so the evac chopper can get in but without help them boys won't make it. Oh an' Huddy make sure you have your weapon ready and keep your eyes peeled, 'coz the word is a fucking sniper got them boys. We don't need our Mr. Music getting pinged this close you goin' stateside, your little lady will have my balls and from what I've heard she is a little spitfire." Captain McGregor chuckles deeply as he slaps me on the back on his way past me. (The boy's gave me the nickname Mr. Music, once they found out I was in a band and glee club)

"Sure thing Captain, give me 10 minutes to get some gear together, it looks like mainly shrapnel, but those chest wounds could be tricky. I'll do what I can, just get some help up there ASAP, I'll radio in when I get there." I raced off to the motor pool, told the grumpy old Sergeant, I needed a bike fueled up, and ready to go in five.

He makes a smart-ass move by bowing in front of me and saying in a sarcastic tone, "Oh of course Mr. Music just let me drop everything else to assist your lordship."

I sigh and shake my head, my voice taking on a dark tone," Look sarge I don't got time for this shit right now. I gotta get up to the 63rd and I need to go like right fucking now, so can you just move your whiney butt and gas my bike so I can go, then if you are still needin' a bitch session take it up with the Captain ok?"

By the time, I return to the motor pool, I see my bike standing outside and the sarge nowhere in sight, smirking to myself, and thinking that he didn't want to see the captain. I quickly tied down my radio and couple of knapsacks filled with as many supplies as I could jam in, not knowing what they had at the 63rd, and after buckling my helmet on and making sure my rifle wasn't going to get in the way. I jumped on and gunned the shit out of my bike taking off in a shower of dust heading to the 63rd about 20 miles north through heavy jungle, no wonder they couldn't get a meat wagon in.

I could hear gunfire as I approached the spot where our guys' were holed up, so I got off the bike and after slipping the handles of the knapsacks over my shoulders and making sure my gun was ready if needed. I quickly radioed the guys' at the 63rd to let them know I was near and hoping they wouldn't shoot me by mistake. I hid my bike in some undergrowth and made my way as quietly as is possible for a guy who is 6' 3" and loaded down like a pack mule , after what felt like an hour but was in fact only 10 minutes I was greeted by a dirty face and camouflaged body, saying softly,

"Well lookie here finally the band-aid has turned up, 'bout fuckin' time bro. Come on the boys are this way, just watch your feet.

Another 10-minute walk through even heavier jungle, which made my skin crawl and the sweat drip like a leaky faucet down my face and run down my back, I squirmed as I felt it slide between my butt cheeks. It was hard to breathe as the air was so close and still, it made me nervous not knowing if the enemy was gonna jump out at any moment or take a pot shot from behind a tree. Finally, we broke through into a clearing surrounded by miles of cammo netting and I was taken over to the Lt in charge.

I saluted him "Sir, Cpl Hudson 163rd M.A.S.H, I understand you've some guys with chest wounds?"

"Spot on kiddo they're right this way; did you see anything on your way up son?"

"Er no sir, just trees and jungle, then more damned jungle; can you give me a rundown on your injuries?"

"Yeah here they are, the boys got pinged by the freakin' sniper and as far as we can tell the bullets still in there, they've lost a lot of blood but seem to be holding on, but too much longer and …"

"Ok is there anyone who can help me?"

"Yeah 'course, Raffles, front and center soldier."

I unpack my knapsacks on to the ammo box being used as a side table. As I lean over the two guys' laying on cots, their chests are padded with a number of field dressings. I take note of their color and see that even though they have lost a lot of blood they still look ok; usually an indication that the bullet missed vital organs and it is just stuck in the flesh.

I turn to the first guy "Hey there dude how ya doing I'm Finn, and I'm gonna do my best to patch ya up so the bird can take ya outta here ok, now can you roll over a bit. Thankfully, after about 3 hours I was able to patch the boys up enough, the bullets were easy enough to dig out, but they had broken ribs and lacerations from the bullet's entry, I finished up by covering the wounds with a dressing covered with Vaseline. It helps makes a seal around the entry hole and keeps out the dirt and other germs that could make the problem worse and was just making notes on their condition, which now was stable, to send with them, so once they reached an operating theater to receive proper surgery the doctors would have a heads up. The Lt came and said that the 114th had showed up, and taken out the bastard that caused all the problems. He also said the chopper was on its way, so once it arrived I could go. He thanked me for helping his boys and made a point of saying to be careful on my way back, as there are more than likely plenty more of the enemy out there hiding in the fucking jungle.

I nodded and went off behind a tree to take a piss before I left, making sure to take my riffle just in case.

I was just doing up my pants when I heard a noise to my right so silently I turned in the direction and nearly swore aloud at the very thing the Lt. warned me about sneaking towards the camp I'd just left.

As far as I could tell there was only the one of them so I raised my rifle and let him have it, I was surprised then when about 5 more came sneaking out of the dark jungle, I hid the best I could and quickly radioed the 63rd , before I aimed again and got another couple. I then snuck around behind where I could see they had come from and found a few more readying themselves to move out, jabbering away in their language. I unclipped a grenade and threw it with my perfect QB's aim right in the middle of them. Then hightailed it back to the where our boys were. I could hear the Lt screaming orders and all of a sudden, complete and utter mayhem broke out, as our boys fought back.

I was just reaching for another clip for my gun when I felt a burn across my neck and in my chest then nothing… Well I could hear Rach singing, I don't know what the words were but just hearing her beautiful voice after all this time was enough to let me slide away, knowing I would be with her soon or maybe I was finally going to see my baby girl? I didn't really care.

"R-Rach baby, where are you…?"

A/N: Thoughts?

Faithfully: Journey


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for your continuing support of this story, I am glad you are still enjoying it. I apologize for leaving the last chapter on a cliffhanger … Well anyway, on with the story.**

**As always, I own nothing except the plot, OC's and any mistakes that slip through. **

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vietnam: October 1967.

_I felt a burn across my neck and in my chest then nothing… Well I could hear Rach singing, I don't know what the words were but just hearing her beautiful voice after all this time was enough to let me slide away, knowing I would be with her soon or maybe I was finally going to see my baby girl? I didn't really care._

"_R-Rach baby, where are you?"_

CHAPTER IX

_American Army Base Hospital:_ Clark Air force base in the Philippines

"Specialist Hudson?"

I turn my head towards the sound of my name groaning and wincing at the sharp dragging pain that burns like fire across my throat, I can feel tightness across my chest as well when I try to turn my body to alleviate the tugging, cursing again at the stabbing pain. All of a sudden, the reason for my present condition is replaying like a movie in my head. My eyes widen in alarm. Then as I raise my hand to my throat my fingers encounter the thick bandages, I slam my eyes closed and try to take a deep breath to calm my raging emotions.

"Specialist Hudson, My name is Dr. Pierce, but you can call me Hawkeye in fact I'd rather you did and I'll just call you Finn, we aren't the formal sort as you can probably tell by my attire, I read in the latest stars and stripes that bath robes are the latest fashion trend for the fashion aware medical practitioner. I feel this delightful red colour really matches perfectly with my bloodshot eyes don't you think? "

He does a little twirl giving me a full view of his odd outfit which is indeed an open bathrobe that ends at mid calf over the top of his white scrubs, and to top the whole outfit off he was wearing a cowboy hat made from straw. If it weren't for his chain of dog tags hanging around his neck no one would know he was in the army or even a professional I send him a half smile, already feeling slightly more at ease.

"Yes well as I said I am Hawkeye and this dashing chap is my most learned colleague, he can spell the word Doctor now." Waving his arm in the direction of the only chair in the room, "Is Dr. 'Trapper' John McIntire, but such a long moniker confuses the poor man so just call him Trapper."

I raise my hand in greeting at the sight of another bathrobe-clad man this time in a yellow one with a large straw boater type hat perched atop his mass of light brown curls. Trapper raises his tall body from the chair, lifts his hat and does a little bow, before joining Hawkeye at my bedside.

"As you can probably tell you were shot in the neck, but due to the entry and exit angle of the bullet, it made quite a mess, thankfully though it missed your voice box and carotid artery, and us."

He indicates the two of them.

"Being the magicians we are in an operating room and brilliant Dr's to boot fixed everything. You will need to take it easy with talking for a little while, but you should be ok, the same with your chest wound. The shot bounced off your rib cage, which in turn caused a couple to break. Overall you are one lucky man, must have had a guardian angel watching over you. And from that ring on your finger and the way you kept mumbling what sounded like Rach, I'd hazard a guess that she is it?"

I reached my hand up to shake both of theirs and then made a motion of writing, hoping they understood what I was asking for.

"I think he is asking for something to write on Hawk, what's say we call one of those lovely visions in white, in to assist him and then take a promenade around the golf course, before the bar at the officers club opens?"

"First-rate idea my good man" Hawkeye says in a posh British accent.

Before he turns to me again and says, " I'd like to keep you here at the pleasure palace for a couple of days just to make sure everything is a-ok then we'll return you to the real world via a first class trip. Courtesy of Mr. Lyndon B Johnson himself, but we'll be back to see you in the morning, Just try not to talk too much at least today so the sutures can settle down, just get some shut eye."

He then turns to Trapper and loops his arm through Trapper's as they skip out of the room chatting like a couple of ladies at the country club, leaning down to press a noisy kiss on the cheeks of the laughing nurse who is on her way in.

I again indicate for some paper and a pen, nurse Melody nods in acknowledgement and returns 5 minutes later with a bundle of loose papers and a pen. I hold up my hand and ask her to wait, while I hurriedly scribble on the page

_**Does my wife know I'm here?**_

_She shakes her head and says, "I'm not sure but I can try and find out."_

_I write again- __**Yes please, But if you talk to her please tell her not to worry about coming here, I will be home soon, I know she will worry but that is just my Rach, Thanks nurse.**_

"_You're welcome specialist." She says softly _

_**Specialist? But I'm only a corporal.**_

_In an apologetic tone she answers "Well I don't know about that but on your admission papers you were listed as, Specialist Finnegan C Hudson, aged 27, D.O.B 08/08/1940, married, to a Rachel B Hudson, home town Lima Ohio, service number OH-52-1510-1235 and service termination date 15 October 1967. But maybe someone from the army will come by and explain what is going on. Now is there anything else I can get for you? _

_**No thanks, I'm feeling a bit tired now, so I'll think I'll have a **__**nap, thanks anyway.**_

"_Ok then I'll see you later just remember to press the call button if your pain gets too much and someone will come." _

I wiggle a bit on my narrow bed , taking a quick look around at the other 5 beds in the room, and notice they are have their curtains drawn around them, so I assume they must be occupied. I close my eyes and before long my dreams are filled with Rach's, smiling but teary face as she meets me at the airport. But for the life of me I can't understand how I came to be promoted. I mean all I did was get some of the enemy before they had a chance to get us, and as much as killing goes against what I was there to do, I was after all basically still a soldier and it was expected of me.

After what seemed like days' I was woken up by the sound of a trolley or something being wheeled over the tiled floor. I could hear talking. Most of it about the food so I rightly assumed it was dinnertime. But my bladder was nearly bursting, so after gaining the attention of the nurse this time a male one; I dug out my paper and pen scribbling down what I needed.

He gave me a thumbs up and said; "I'll get a chair man, hang on a tic" he returned with a wheel chair and helped me into it, attaching the drip I had in my arm to the pole on the back. A few minutes later, we got to the bathroom and after helping me again, he told me to knock when I was done.

Feeling much better, I was able to sit up in bed once we got back to my ward and finally got to see who my roommates were. I was given a bowl of soup, some jello and orange juice for dinner, at my downcast look at my meager meal. The orderly said that by tomorrow I should be able to have something a bit more filling, so I quickly drank the soup which to be honest tasted pretty damn good, and the Jello was orange which was always my favorite.

Just as I was putting my spoon down the guy in the bed next to me spoke in a vaguely familiar southern drawl.

"How ya doin' band-aid? Glad to see ya'll awake, I got tell ya man you got one hellva an arm, you know if it weren't for you, we'd all be pushing up fucking daises you saved us all man."

A chorus of agreement, was murmured around the room and at the puzzled look on my face, the guy spoke again.

"Name's Le-Beau, I was the one who met you at the 63rd 'member?" at my tiny nod of recognition he continues, "well when you radioed in to say ya'll'd seen them enemy bastards and took a couple of 'em out, we had been searching for days to try and find them. Then by the time, we heard an explosion and the Lt. realized you musta lobbed a grenade and knocked 'em over like fucking bowling pins, leaving the last few of us to get , which is how I got hit, bastard came at me from behind a fuckin' tree 'an stuck me with his knife in the guts, and the chest. But thanks to the Doc's here we are all gonna be ok, my tour was up anyway, so now I can go home and see my wife 'an kids finally make my kid's little league game." He laughed loudly till all of a sudden he stopped and gripped his chest and stomach, wincing at the pain his laughter caused him.

I wasn't too sure about speaking yet so I wrote down my questions and held it out for one of the other guys to read**. "Oh… well I'm glad you guys all got out ok,, wait what about those boys I patched up, are they ok? All I remember is clockin' a couple of the enemy, then lobbing a grenade into their camp and just as I was about to load another clip I got hit and musta blacked out, but do you know anything about me now apparently bein a specialist an' not a corporal?"**

"That's them over there, Wade Turner and Seth McAllen, 'an thanks to you they're gonna make it. Aw sorry man I don't, but I wager it's sumthin' to do with single handedly savin' our collective asses.

Just as I was about to ask another question, another different nurse comes in with a wheel chair to take one of the guys' away for a shower, he is followed out of the room by whistles and laughter about a sponge bath is more fun. I lay back and close my eyes again and as I drift off to sleep I think how proud Rach will be when she finds out I saved my teammates.

The next morning Hawkeye and Trapper arrive to do their rounds, dressed in their bathrobes but today they are fancy ones with dragons on them, and they are tied at the waist. I chuckle at the sight 'cause instead of the straw hats from yesterday they are wearing pith helmets and have a monocle jammed in one eye.

Hawkeye walks over to my bed in a funny penguin sort of walk making me think straight away of Charlie Chaplin in those old movies I took Rach to see at the cinema.

"Morning Finn, how are you doing today? Hope you had a good night, now do you mind if I inspect my embroidery?"

I croaked out a "No go ahead man, when do you think I can go back to the states?"

He looks at me with wide eyes that make his monocle falls out. "You mean you want to give up your all expenses paid vacation here at the Pleasure Palace? Moreover, return to the only place in the entire world that makes the best ribs and BBQ sauce. You do know the place I'm talking about right? 'Adams Ribs' in Chicago, not far from the Dearborn Street Station. You know when the gods on Olympus got tired of pizza they sent out for those ribs, I can just taste them smothered in BBQ sauce with a side of coleslaw. It was bliss for my taste buds. I remember eating them all the time when I was there in med school."

I shrugged my uninjured side and said, "Well yeah I miss my wife and I gotta a job with the Ohio highway patrol to get back to."

"Well everything looks good but I'd like to keep you here with us for another 24 hours then as long as there are no problems, you should be good to go. How long till your tour is up?"

"Um I think I've about another 2 and a bit weeks, but I have to pack up my gear back at the 163rd and get my paperwork and flights sorted, you know the drill man, but hey I gotta thank you for patchin' me up so good."

"Hawkeye slaps me on the shoulder and says "it's all part of the ticket price buddy, lets just hope I don't have to ever see your face again."

XXXXX

By the end of the second week in November 1967, I was on my way back to the States, my tour of duty done with and my discharge papers tucked underneath my uniform, along with my commendation medal for bravery, in the very bottom of my duffle bag. I also had another smaller one filled with the presents and souvenirs; I'd brought for Rach and my Mom and Dad as well as Rach's last letter, which I read over and over on the 17 or so hour flight. I had sent Rach a telegram letting her know my flight number and arrival time and could not wait to get home and hold my beautiful girl in my arms. Hoping to hear her angelic voice because as much as I'd decided I couldn't bare to listen to music or even sing myself Rachel's voice, has since we met as high school freshmen, always calmed me and I knew it was the only thing that could break through the walls I'd built up in my mind. I was going to hold her in my arms and never let her go, hoping she remembered what she said about locking our bedroom door for a day and never leaving it.

I made my self as comfortable as I could in the tiny space of the plane, pulled out the soft pink sheet of paper; this was only a short letter, as she knew I was coming home.

_My Darling,_

_I was and am still so happy to hear you are on your way home, and I cannot wait. I will be at the airport in Columbus, on Thursday 18 November, along with your Mom and Dad to meet you and welcome you home. I cannot believe baby that you will finally be in my arms where you belong, but I am so, so very proud of you and I know with the utmost certainty that your parents are as well. So please do not worry if Mom and I break down in tears the second we see you, but I can assure you they will be happy tears. I promise I will do my very best to help you readjust to a normal life. Mom and I have even planned a special welcome home dinner of all your favorites for just the four of us. I know Mom has been so worried and I even saw a tear or two in your dad's eye when I showed them the telegram you sent informing us of your return._

_Therefore, I will close now my love and see you on the 18__th__._

_Love forever yours Rach xxxxxx _

Finally, the freaking plane touched down on the tarmac of the Columbus International airport and I didn't even wait for the ok to remove my seat belt, I grabbed hold of my bags and stood up in readiness to disembark. Then as I walked as fast as possible along the passenger tunnel, I could see my angel standing at the bottom of the ramp holding a bunch of pink tulips, and her little face flooding with tears. She was sandwiched in between Mom and Dad who were both crying, and as soon as I was off the ramp I ran towards my family, my own tears falling unchecked dripping off my chin and staining my shirt. I dropped my bags and scooped my tiny wife up into my arms pressing a deep breath-stealing kiss on her plump pink lips, our tears mixing, until air became an issue and we pulled apart breathing heavily.

"Hi Mrs. Hudson "I puffed out when we reluctantly pulled apart

"Hi yourself Mr. Hudson, I missed you.

I turned to my Mom and wrapped her in my arms not bothering to hide my new batch of tears, I pressed a long kiss on her cheek and with one arm hugged my Dad whose tears were falling uncontrolled down his face.

Through her tears and sobs Mom managed to breathe out, "Welcome home baby boy, now can we please go home?"

Dad pulls away and bends down to pick up my bags, not ashamed to wipe the tears still dripping off his chin, he takes Moms hand while I take the other and wrap my free arm around Rach's waist every couple of steps pressing a kiss on the top of her head. God I have missed my family so much, I am proud of the job I did in the army, helping the people as a medic but if I never have to deal with that sort of horror, again I will be more than happy.

We don't say much on the hour long drive home to Lima, I just keep Rach wrapped in my arms and think to myself about the many times I wished I could get out of the small town but after experiencing what I did. I will be happy to stay, at least for a while anyway and just get on with some sort of a normal life. Like mowing the grass on a Saturday, and waking up on a Sunday to the smell of pancakes and bacon. Coming home everyday to have my beautiful tiny wife meet me at the front door with a kiss then sit at our dinner table talking about our day, then retiring to our bedroom and making love with the most stunning sexy woman I have ever known or needed.

**A/N: Well our Finn is home, the next chapter will deal with his integration back into a normal life, and how he readjusts to life outside the army. Hope you will stay for the rest of Finn and Rachel's journey. I just hope it captures on the screen what I see in my head. I apologize in advance for any tears, it made me cry when he came home and I wrote it.**

**Any references to the TV show M*A*S*H are not mine and belong to their creators. (Hawkeye has always been one of my favourites)**

**cab4five**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This is part 1 of the 2 part final chapter.**

**Though I do hope, it does not ramble on too much and bore you all, then just an epilogue to follow.**

**As always, I own nothing but the plot, OC'S and mistakes that slip through. Any music used belongs to the very talented writers and singers who own the rights to it, as do the glee or other known TV characters; I just like to borrow them from Misters' Murphy, Brennan, Falchuck and Gelbart.**

**I will apologize in advance if this upsets anyone, I have tried to keep it as factual as possible but it involves a real problem (PTSD) that many brave people in our communities face everyday. **

**XXXXXXX**

**Chapter ****X**

Rach was right dinner that first night I was home was indeed made up of all my favorites, roast beef with gravy, baked potatoes, carrots, beans and to please both my wife and my mom I even enjoyed some broccoli and cauliflower in white sauce… Well… when I say _enjoyed_… it was probably more the fact I was with my family and the food was fresh not reconstituted mush. Followed for dessert by Mom's special double layer chocolate sponge cake, filled with whipped cream and strawberries and covered by the yummy creamy chocolate icing she calls garn-ache or something.

The evening was spent just enjoying being home and catching up on what my family had been doing the last two years. Rach was never far from my side and even at the dinner table I held her hand or touched her in some way, I just needed to be close to her. I was still sore and of course with two women who loved me more than anything in the world. I could not fight the attention they were giving me, (not that I wanted to anyway) fussing over me and making sure I was comfortable and not in any pain. My dad just watched the going's on with an amused twinkle in his cinnamon eyes, every now and then just looking straight at me and nodding as if to say, '_I am so happy you are home in one piece, just let the women folk fuss son, it easier than fightin' it. ' _

They all loved the gifts I brought for them, Rach dashed off to our bedroom to don the cheongsam, and I was 100% right in my thinking she would be beautiful, she even pulled her long hair into a sort of top knot bun thingie. Finishing off the sexy oriental look with a pair of high-heeled shoes that I did not even recognize, but decided she needed to wear more often, because they really showed off her gorgeous long tanned legs. Then as she walked down stairs, I jumped off the sofa and scooped her up, pressing my lips onto hers. Completely ignoring my parents who were busy reading the manual for the Kodak Polaroid camera I got for dad, (I thought it was real cool it developed the photographs inside while you waited, huh, who'd have guessed that was even possible) and making a point of not looking our way. As much as I had missed my parents, I '_needed' _to be with Rach.

I started back up the stairs letting my feet lead the way as my mouth was stuck to Rach's neck and the little not so quiet moans, she was making, demonstrating to me of her own needs, were going straight to my dick and I was rock hard before we even reached the landing.

I felt Rach wrap her legs around my waist and grind her center against me making a purring noise and raking her fingernails through my still short hair, pressing her soft lips against the scar on the side of my neck.

"Oh baby girl I have missed you so much, I need you Rach, I need you to just be there and love me and take away the images in my head, and make me, me again can you do that for me please baby?"

The wall around the dam keeping my emotions was weakening and was about to burst, I could feel it. My eyes were stinging with tears I was trying to keep at bay.

Without saying a word, my tiny brunette angel, just slid down my body, and took my hand, her other one raised to cup my cheek, she leaned up to press a soft kiss on my puffy lips and then said in her beautiful voice filled with love. "I will always be here for you baby as what ever you need me to be, but honey without you I have not been me either, so let me love you baby."

My mouth slammed against hers and our tears fell together as I again lifted her up bridal style and made the distance to our bedroom in record time, shutting the door and turning the lock the second we were over the threshold. By the time, I had reached our bed. Rachel had undone all my shirt buttons above my belt and was groaning with frustration at the buckle. Placing her on the covers, I kicked off my shoes, undid said annoying buckle, tore my trousers, and half open shirt and undershirt away from my thrumming and overly sensitive body, my cinnamon eyes never leaving the woman reclined against the mountain of pillows. Her big brown eyes moist with the depths of feelings, that I knew without any shadow of doubt were endless and all for me. I have felt the love she has for me since we were 14 years old and now at 27, it is reciprocated completely.

Rach was letting me take charge, just watching me, once my clothes were gone and I was standing in front of her stark naked, my dick at full quivering attention. I watched her face, her pink tongue poking out and licking her full lips as her eyes raked over my naked body. I cringed at her gasp when her brown eyes land on the still vivid red, raised scars on my neck and right side of my chest. Then when her eyes land on the gold star inked over my heart, her eyes glistening with emotion, leave my body for a moment to lock with mine then move back to my chest. I am hoping she isn't upset… my fears are groundless, when in one swift movement she lifts her arms, pulling the red and gold dress from her naked body and dropping it over the side of the bed, the action causing the pins in her hair to fall out letting her silky brunette tresses tumble around her upper body. Then opening her arms up granting me what I have wished for, for the past two years.

Our bodies join in the ultimate pinnacle of pleasure, remembering without missing a beat the well-rehearsed dance. Our mating was quick and hard and all about the need to be close, purging from our hearts, minds and bodies the feelings of loneliness and separation, that have built up over the time we have been apart. I knew I wouldn't last long this time and as I asked my love to come with me I looked down into her shining brown orbs, and saw everything I was feeling reflected back at me. From the moment, I felt her muscles squeezing my dick from inside her body, I thrust as hard and as fast as I could, until I came with a hoarse grunt of her name and released my fluids deep inside of her needy and receptive body. My face falling into her neck and kissing the warm vanilla scented skin, nipping her as my passion overtook me. After we calmed down and I rolled over on to my back, not letting go of Rach, I pulled her tenderly to rest on to my chest, our bodies still connected and as our breathing slowed down, I looked at her through teary eyes and ran my large hand through the strands of her soft coconut scented hair. Whilst she used her fingers to wipe away my tears placing little butterfly kisses all over my face and neck then after a little while tracing with one small soft finger the star inked over my heart, before placing a kiss over it and saying in more breath than actual words... "Our baby girl…?"

I nod and say just as softly, "I never want to forget her… I know we never got to know her but she was ours and I loved her from the moment you told me she was coming…" my words are cut off as Rach, her big brown eyes flooding with tears whispers,

"I love you so very much Finn and I am so very happy and thankful you came home to me and I feel the same way love, it was so hard trying to deal with all of that when you were away, but I knew I had to be strong, and even though we missed out on knowing her. I know next time will ok and we will tell our future babies all about their big sister."

I leant up as much as my sore neck would allow and kissed her, my hands sliding up her body and pulling her into a sitting position to better enable me to caress her beautiful breasts, the action of her moving woke up Finny jnr , causing my girl to move her hips against mine. Throwing her head back and moaning as I sat up a bit and sucked one hard bud into my mouth, my hand continuing to knead the other. Rach was grinding her center harder against me, and as I felt, myself harden inside her. I released her breast and slid my hands down to her tiny waist, holding her steady while I thrust my hips upwards, earning a loud scream from my love. Rach started to move in a figure eight movement, leaning back so her hands were resting on my thighs. The sounds escaping from her throat were a cross between a purr and a growl and as always when we come together like this. I feel everything!

"Ohh Rach… baby I have missed you so freaking much… I love you" I am crying as I continue to thrust, trying to give Rach what she is asking for after so much time apart, we are both extremely needy and emotional...

"Oh god baby more pleas… just there oohhh yes baby I love you…"Finnnnyyy…"

Rach is crying now as well but before I finish I pull her face down to mine and push my tongue against her mouth asking for entrance, which she grants immediately and as our tongues tangle our hands are caressing any skin they can. I can feel the tightening in my balls as Rach lifts her hips slightly then slamming back down. She does this a few more times until I can't hold back any longer. Dragging my mouth away to get some much-needed air, I tell her I love her once more and press my lips softly this time against her, holding her tiny body along the length of mine. I give her everything I have; I can feel our combined juices, gushing around my dick as I thrust another couple of times until I am spent. Rach is kissing me and sobbing at the same time as trying to speak.

"I-I love you b-baby please d-don't ever leave me a-again, "she holds me as tight as possible in our position. Her wet face pressed against my heart, making kissing motions with her lips against my sweaty skin her left hand running through the thick dark hair covering my chest and again tracing over the golden star. Her hand then slides over to wrap her fingers around my bicep where the tribal band is inked, "it is sexy" she murmurs into my neck before kissing me again. Our ragged breaths subside to the regular rhythm and before long; I know my beautiful angel has fallen asleep. I kiss her cheek and reach down to pull up the bedding, covering our now cooled bodies from the October chill. As my eyes slowly close I am hoping the movie tape in my head, won't start to again play the horrible things I've seen and the lives I've had to take, as I want to forget all of that and get on with my life.

However, I know if they do come back, I will have the love and support of my one true love and soul mate as well as my parents to help me through it. I just hope I am strong enough. I finally close my eyes and making sure, I had a tight hold on Rach, slipped into slumber. Softly whispering my thanks to the gods or the stars or whoever was responsible, for bringing me home in one piece. The only sounds in the room are Rach's contented sighs and regular breathing.

XXXXX

I settled back into life in Lima, as well as could be expected. After speaking to my captain, the doctor and psychologist, at the police department, I was given a month's paid leave, also encouraged to undergo some medical testing, to make sure that I was fit to resume duty. Which thankfully, I passed and by the beginning of December, I was back in my uniform as an officer of the Ohio Highway Patrol, although being winter it was difficult at times to get my motorcycle through the snow so I was instead assigned a patrol car.

My duties were the same patrolling the highways which I was surprised to notice had got busier in my absence, Rach had mentioned in one of her letters that a couple of new sub-divisions, had been built. One called Lima Heights, primarily for the upper middle class families and another a little west of there called Lima Heights Adjacent, where apparently a lot of immigrants and poorer families lived, as it was on the public bus route and closer to the steel plant and other manufacturing factories and business'. Lima had a new shopping mall as well on the east side of town called 'Centerpoint of Lima' which by all accounts it was pretty state of the art with three floors reached by elevators, of shops and food places as well as a cinema complex on the top floor.

Rach had said she had brought some Christmas lights while I was oversees and was going to wait until I was home and able to put them up. I was all excited for this first holiday season back home and decided to stop in at the Wal-Mart store in the new mall on my way home on the Monday a week or so before Christmas to have a look and see if they had anything extra special to surprise my beautiful wife with.

I parked my car as close as possible to the front door so I had plenty of light to see what was going on around me, (even though the doctors had given me the all clear I was still wary of the dark and closed in places). The doctors said it was a form of PTSD and apart from taking meds to calm me down (which I did not want to do as I had heard stories from other guys' about some of the effects they can have on a person, and I did not want to get hooked on anything)

It wasn't hard to find the 'Christmas' section as there were decorations lining the aisles and at the end an area had been turned into Father Christmas's village. Many little kiddies were lined up with their parents waiting, some more patiently than others', for their turn to sit on the man in red's knee and dictate/demand their wish list.

Thankful I could bypass all of that, I found my way to the light and trimmings section and was busy looking at the many new designs and styles, (well new to me anyway) chuckling to my self at the choices. I grabbed a shopper's basket from the stand at one end of the aisle, as I wandered along humming along to the Carol's playing over the PA system. My eyes landed on a star shape light; I thought would look great in the living room window, which faced the street. Also a couple of packets of string lights that flashed, for the gutters and up around the chimney there was even a light up angel and baby Jesus garden ornament that could go next to the front door or on the porch steps. Satisfied with my choices I was heading down the next aisle to where the tree trimmings were. I was bending over looking at the box of baubles on a lower shelf. When a cart knocked into me, I stumbled slightly due to my awkward, downward position, leaning on the shelf as I straightened only to be face-to-face (well chest) with a face from my very distant past and the last person in the world I wished to have any sort of contact or conversation with Quinn Fabray…

She put her hand on my forearm and squeezed it, saying in an excited tone, "Finn? Finn Hudson? Is that you? Oh my god! How are you? You look freaking fantastic honey that uniform makes you look even sexier than I remember; Oh god how I've missed you, we should catch up for a drin…"

I jumped back crashing into the shelf of tinsel, pushing her hand off my arm with my left hand, and shaking it as if I had been burnt, I roared at her to "GET AWAY FROM ME, DON'T YOU EVER SPEAK TO ME!"

I was making quite a scene, gaining the attention of the other shoppers, though at that point I did not care. The instant I saw her face it brought back the memories of what she had done to Rach in high school and then to Sam and in my mind, she is the reason he was gone. I shook my head, spun around, and marched to the counter willing the checkout girl to hurry up. I could have left my stuff, but then thought why I should let the blonde witch spoil the surprise I had been planning for my loving wife. I just wanted to get home I needed my Rachel.

"Hi that will be $12.40 please"

I handed the girl $15.00 and didn't bother waiting for my change, just mumbled out a rushed "keep the change" grabbed my bags and strode off, I didn't even acknowledge the " Gee thanks Mister, happy holidays" she called out happily. I climbed in my car and high-tailed it out of the parking lot, home to Rach.

"Rach, Rach baby where are you, RACHEL?" the minute I enter the house my voice takes on a frantic tone as Rach comes bounding in from the kitchen wiping her hands on her flowered apron, concern etched deeply on her face. She takes my large hand in her tiny one and leads me to the sofa, sending an enquiring look towards Mom and Dad who I noticed from the corner of my eye, watching TV.

Being next to her even for a few moments was already calming me down. Rach was holding my head to her breast and softly singing, ( I didn't really hear the words but just the music of her voice and feeling the vibration of her body was enough to slow my rapid heart beat and still my anger from erupting, all the while she was running her little fingers through my hair.

"Baby can you tell me what happened to upset you like this? Your behavior is worrying me" I nod against her and sit up making sure to keep a tight hold on her hands, rubbing over her wedding bands with my thumb.

I look at her concerned face and feel bad I have most likely scared her I take a deep breath and looking over at Mom and Dad who have identical looks of concern on their faces, I start.

"Yeah well I s-stopped in at the new mall, on my way home I wanted to surprise you with some more lights and stuff an' I found a beautiful star…"

Rach's eyes take in a soft look as she smiles at me nodding at me to continue.

"Well after I got the lights, I was checking out the tree trimmings, and was bending down to a low shelf when somebody bumped into me with their cart. Then as I stood up, I saw… it was Q-Quinn Fabray, and she held my arm and s-said I looked sexy and we should go for a drink…"

"SHE DID WHAT? Oh my goodness what is wrong with that woman, she has a child to care for…" Rach looked ready to storm off to the woman's house and tell her off. Thankfully Mom spoke and made Rach stop

"Finny what happened then dear?" I hear mom ask with a worried quality in her soft voice.

I look at her and Dad and say, "Well I just pushed her away from me and told her to leave me alone and never speak to me again. It was j-just the second I-I saw her face it brought back all the hateful things she did at school and that time she punched Rach… an' then what she did to poor Sam, lying to him like that and … then he joined the Army an'… I had to get out of there before my temper exploded and I hit something…"

"Oh honey I am so sorry you had to deal with that, maybe I need to pay her a visit and tell her a few home truths and to keep her lying cheating paws off my man…"

"NO!" Rach looks taken aback at my harsh outburst. "Sorry Rach, but no baby, please don't go anywhere near her I am ok really I was just angry, the doctors said I would still have bad days, but I promise love I am going to be ok I guess It is just the happiness and family times that Christmas represents, and I… his family you know?"

"I know baby," Rach kisses me softly on the mouth and rubs my back. Making me feel so much better, ( I know I will have more of these mini breakdowns but as long as I have Rach and my parents to help me I know I will be ok). "Now just relax and take it easy until dinner is ready and then after you can show me the new decorations you purchased and we can get them all out and decide where we will put them all. Then the day after tomorrow on your day off, we can hang them and I will even video tape the event for posterity's sake ok?" She leans in to kiss me again then as she gets up says, "I love you Finn and I'll always be here for you."

I watch her as she disappears, Mom following her into the kitchen, I sigh deeply and a happy smile overtakes my face. Dad sits next to me and starts to talk about the game he had been listening on the radio for a little while, and then suddenly changes the subject.

"You know you can talk to me about what you're going through don't you son, I went through the same stuff when I came back from WW2. I know it is hard to come to terms with all the horrible things a man is expected to do during war time and even though it turns your guts inside out, it is one of those things, but you and me are lucky…"

I look at my dad with a puzzled look and my question of how anyone can be lucky after seeing all of that must have been written on my face, cause without me even saying anything he started to talk again.

"We _are_ lucky Finn because you and I had women at home who loved us so deeply that they were the only things that could help chase the memories and noises out of our heads. I mean your Mom was dealing with me going away not long after you were born, her parents were not that close by, and it was difficult to get mail through sometimes. But she is now, and has always been a very strong woman, and she learnt to deal with things, and to be strong for both of us and you, who needed her to be both a Mom and a Dad for the first few years of your life." He pats me on the knee and says

"I know when my old man came back from the war, he was a mess, nightmares and yelling at me and Mother for no reason, but she loved him with the same deep passion that I have seen with you and your Rachel and just like me and your Mom. It's funny how all us Hudson men have all been so damn lucky to find women who love us and stick by when things get tough, and help with anything like a real partnership should be. But my poor Dad, when things got too much would disappear into the backyard and play his trumpet, Man! He could get some sweet music from that thing, but it helped calm him down. They were the only times he played, then of course his lung problems got too much and he could not get enough air to blow… In those days', there was not the help available to returned soldiers, at least for their mental recovery. I don't know what happened to the musical talent but I reckon it skipped a generation, 'cause I can't, sing a single note or find my way around an instrument without a map." Dad ran his hand through his hair and over the back of his neck.

"Yeah I remember Granddad playing his trumpet and wondered why he didn't join a band or something, but I 'spose it wasn't as easy in those days and with life hard enough tryin' to make a living, putting a musical band together was on the bottom of the to-do list. I was sad that granddad did not have the opportunity to play his music. I have always found it a stress reliever." I said

Dad smiles at me and says, "That's why I sound - proofed the basement after you got that set that year."

We both laugh at that and if anyone had taken a photograph at that minute, they would have thought they were looking at a Chris Hudson clone. I have the same dimples and eye color, and looked exactly like him, except his hair was salt-n- peppered now, and parted on the opposite side to mine, which was still short.

Dad continues, "I used to just kick things over, I did have a real dark time about a year after I came home… I kept thinking how could such a beautiful, caring woman as your Mom want to be with, and love a man that did what I did, killing people and the like and what sort of example was I setting for you... I would drink every drop of booze I could find in the house even Mom's cooking sherry… (It is just as well we did not have a lot in the house). Mom tried everything to help me, but I am forever grateful she stuck by me, 'cause if she'd upped and left, taking you with her. It would have been the end of me, and I have tried every single day since to let her know how much I love and appreciate her… However, I got a serious kick in the balls as a wake up call when she got real sick, and needed to stay in the hospital for a few days. You needed me to look after you. Man, it was scary, potty training and such… but it made me see just how much I _was_ needed and loved."

He took a breath and a sip from his glass of beer, and then continued.

"An' I reckon son, if you feel things are getting' too much lock yourself away with your drums and loose yourself in some music for a bit. I know the doctors have explained to you about PTSD, and how small things like a name or smell can trigger it, in some cases a long time after and without warning but you aren't alone Finn, we all love you so very much and are extremely proud of the man you have become."

Listening to my dad talk about having the same problems makes me less worried about things. I nod through my tears as he continues,

"You have your tiny singing angel in your corner son and that little lady will move heaven and earth to help you so don't go getting mad at her if she gives that blonde witch a good talking to. She stood up to her when you were only dating in high school and if Rachel thinks you are going to be upset by somethin' that other woman says, Rachel will come down on her like a momma grizzly bear protectin' her cubs. I know you two have already been through a lot, with the baby an' all, but son you gotta talk to her because she wants to help you deal with the past two years… But sometimes… women folk get scared about saying or doing the wrong thing, after all they can't read our minds to know what is going on in our heads…"

Dad chuckles a bit and says, "I know it seems like they can sometimes... But seriously Finn don't ever be afraid or think you are going crazy if you need to talk to a professional shrink, 'cause they are trained to listen but as long as you talk to those who love you and you let them help you, you should be ok. Now why don't we go and see what wonders, our girls' have cooked up tonight then sort through them lights eh? Maybe this year the Hudson's house can beat the Shawcross' in the best holiday display. "

"Thanks Dad, I know I have help if I need it , but that girl has always gone out of her way to be mean to Rach, without even knowing her and chasing me when I have never shown her the slightest bit of interest, 'cause from the minute I bumped into Rach in freshman year my heart was hers. But to do what she did to poor Sam Evans just to keep her perfect little public image from going down the toilet is just wrong on so many levels… an' what about the kid, how is he gonna feel…"

"Finn please don't let it get to you son, she made her bed _NOW_ she has to deal with all and any consequences, _NONE_ of it is any your concern. As for your buddy Sam, at least he found out the truth and as painful as his passing was he was a hero, like you and every other man the world over who puts on that uniform and fights' for what is right."

I stand up and with tears now running freely down my face and dripping off my chin, I hug my dad whispering my thanks into his neck (shocked a little that I was now a good couple of inches taller than him) and how much I love him, and he returns the words. What neither of us saw however, were our beautiful wives standing in the doorway arms around each other tears streaming down their cheeks and dripping off their chins identical looks of the utmost pride and love etched on their faces.

XXXXX

Rach told me that she had been studying part time as a musical therapist while I was away so she would be able to help me if I needed it and maybe other people as well, and had been helping at the Lima hospital. She was nearly fully qualified now, which would enable her to work in most places.

I have to admit that some nights, the nightmares are horrifying but instead of the faces of soldiers, on their broken and bloodied bodies… I see Rach's beautiful face on every single one. I wake up in a cold sweat my heart beating so freaking fast that I think it is gonna leap out of my chest and my throat is always sore from the screams, of "PLEASE NO NOT MY RACHEL". I then start to cry uncontrollably, great heaving sobs, sometimes stealing my breath until I feel like I am suffocating and need to throw up.

Poor Rach is of course woken up every time, by my thrashing around in the bed and a couple of times, my closed fist has connected with her face. As she tries to calm me, and in my dazed state I start to cry again hating myself for hurting her, she uses all the strength in her tiny body to hold me tight against her naked body and sings to me. It never matters what she sings it could be the fucking telephone book I wouldn't care it is more the soft tone and feeling her beating heart. I wrap my arms as tight as possible around her, pressing my face against her breast, my mouth finds a bare nipple and I suckle like a baby, until my terrors dissipate and I feel like me again. My beautiful girl continues with her singing and stoking my hair until I fall back to sleep.

For a few months, I was fine, and I felt like the old Finn again, I was doing well at my job still and the captain was happy with my results. Rach had started talking about maybe trying for a baby, an idea I was all in favor of and thought all the practice sessions she said we needed any time of the day we were home together, were a first rate idea, ( I'd have to be crazy to turn down a hot lovemaking session with my girl). I was happy, I still had the occasional nightmare and felt strange if I was in dark quiet places, I liked to see my surroundings and hear people's voices, even if it was for only short periods but mostly I was ok. I had started playing my drums again and Rach showed me the songs she had written and asked me to sing with her. I told her then, that I had written some as well it helped fight the darkness a little, but it was not finished yet, maybe one day….

Xxxxx

It was the day before the fourth of July holiday and Rachel was on summer vacation from her job at Lima-Woods Elementary School, most days I took our car to my work at the police station across town. However, today she needed me to meet her at the supermarket 'coz she wanted to do the grocery shopping.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I spotted her sitting at the outside table of the Lima- bean coffee shop, looking around and then down to her wrist where I knew she was looking at her delicate gold wristwatch. I climbed out then locked the door, making my way to my girl a beaming smile on my face. I was a couple of steps away from her when I said in my most serious 'policeman voice'

"Excuse me Miss? I wonder if you could help me with my enquiries." She spins around in her chair, her brow creasing in worry, until she realizes I am playing.

"Why of course officer, how can I be of assistance to such a fine looking member of our brave police force?" she says before pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Well do you mind if I sit and maybe get a coffee first while we discuss things?"

"O-oh n-no not at all please be my guest," she says feigning shyness.

I get the servers attention and order my regular cappuccino with a slice of apple pie and a small chai tea and a fruit Danish for Rach. Once our order arrives, we eat in silence, though I spend the time just watching my wife's beautiful face, as she delicately chews her food. I groan with desire, every time she licks the crumbs off her plump pink lips. Without her noticing I study her, she is dressed in a multi patterned mini dress in bright fun colors of orange, white and purple the length of which makes her tanned legs look twice as long, a pair of white low-heeled sandals on her tiny feet. Her waist length hair was in a high ponytail, and a pair of oversized white sunglasses perched on top of her head. I was amazed at how she still looked as cute as she did in high school, but there was something about her self-confidence, and demeanor that said she was anything but a teenager. Making me so thankful that whatever cosmic forces were working that day, allowed me to find her to love, and be loved so powerfully in return.

I had finished eating, and was just taking a sip of my coffee, when our eyes met over the table and I felt her foot rub along my calf. Nearly choking on my drink I sent her a stern look that said _"we can't do 'stuff' here you just wait till I get you home Mrs. Hudson."_

I cleared my throat and started to speak but my plan to role-play with Rach was fast floating away on the warm summer breeze. Because her foot, moving higher up my leg and the sexy but coy smile on her beautiful face had me in an amorous mood rather than a serious one.

"A-hem now Miss… er?"

"It's um Mrs. actually." She says as she waggles her left hand causing the sun to reflect off her engagement ring.

"But I really don't know officer, how I can help you today," she giggles cutely trying very hard to keep up the pretence.

I frown and tap my chin with one long forefinger, smirking as I notice Rach's eyes widen. (I know she is thinking of my new favourite way of pleasuring her, because we are on the same page of the foreplay handbook).

"Hmm, well maybe you can't help me I'm sorry to bother you Mrs. ….er? I make to stand when she grabs hold of my left hand rubbing my wedding band.

"Well maybe if you elaborate more on what exactly _you _are _needing_ officer, perhaps I _can_ assist you, you know I would be more than happy to help in anyway I can."

"I guess it can't hurt to ask, though I really don't want your husband to think I am trying to steal you away from him, though he must be used to it because if you don't mind me saying… you are absolutely stunning, and any man would be the luckiest guy in the world, to have you as his wife. I sure hope he treats you right... now, where was I? Ah, yes … see I was looking for a petite brunette goddess about 5 ft 3 in, with the deepest dark brown eyes. The voice of an angel, I will not go into too much detail of her other attributes, like her super hot sexy body and the biggest brightest smile that makes her glow, 'specially when she gets her way, or her abilities in the kitchen and the bedroom. However, her heart is by far her best feature as it holds enough love in there for everyone she meets… Do you know you are exactly what I am looking for?

But I apologize for bothering you as you are obviously taken and it is extremely wrong and very rude of me to expect you to just dump your husband and run away with me."

"Oh my goodness, Officer… "She looks closer at my badge smiling when she says. " What do you know your last name is Hudson just like mine, do you know what I think?"

I shake my head, smiling just enough to force my dimples out of hiding.

"I am going to take you up on your offer to run away because I like you. I am sure my husband will understand, he only ever wants to make me happy, but if I did not know better I would swear you and he were identical twins. Now I think you can kiss me if you want to."

Through my loud guffaws, I lean forward whispering just loud enough for her to hear. "I want to" and press a deep kiss on her smiling mouth and for a few minutes, we loose ourselves in our own bubble of happiness. Pulling away breathing heavily I stand up and reach my hand out for her left one, squeezing it and raising her hand to my lips and pressing a little kiss over her rings. She picks up her purse and we leave the coffee shop, making our way through the automatic doors inside to the cavernous mall that sells everything from potato chips to fishing lures, bed sheets, saucepans and ladies stockings…

Xxxxx

Then all the progress I had made went right down the fucking drain…

As the next day was July 4, the town leaders, as they did every year, organized a family fun day and fireworks display to be held on the foreshore at the lake. Rach had been busy making a picnic for us to take which included some cold roast chicken, potato salad, bread rolls and apple turnovers and a little container of something, she called hummus, in which she dipped bits of bread roll. She had even made up a thermos of fruit punch with ice cubes to keep it nice and cold, which was perfect refreshment for a summers evening. I wasn't on duty technically but the captain asked all us guys who said they were going to make sure we had our police badge on us just in case of any trouble.

We arrived at the lake about lunchtime and were able to find a spot under the trees, not that far from the water and I realized it was the same spot; we had spent many of our high school dates making out. Senior prom comes to mind straight away and I smirk goofily as I remember what we got up to that night in the front seat of my dad's car.

It was enjoyable and relaxing watching all the people having a good time at the mini carnival, I was leaning up against a tree with Rach sitting between my open legs her back against my chest. We chatted about all sorts of things while we ate. A short while later we took our basket to the car, then wandered about the carnival hand in hand, I won Rach a little teddy dressed in a police officer's uniform on the football toss game. We had some candyfloss and a ride on the Ferris wheel. I had always wanted to kiss Rach when the wheel made it to the top, so I did we even took a photograph or two.

Afterwards we made ourselves comfortable under another tree ready for the fireworks. I was hoping I would be able to cope with the noises and such. When I said as much to Rach, she just assured me that if it become too much we would leave. Once the sun started its magic slide down the sky wall canvas, and the crowds finally settled down, Rach said she needed the bathroom, just before the firework show so she wandered off after kissing me saying in a teasing tone "don't run off with anyone else while I am gone now will you?"

"THERE IS NO CHANCE IN HELL OF THAT HAPPENING BABE; TINY, SEXY BRUNETTES ARE IT FOR ME." I yell after her beaming at her as she blows me a kiss over her shoulder, which I cannot help but make the motion of catching, then putting in my pocket. I laid my head back closed my eyes and was happily dozing. I could hear a disembodied voice of what sounded like a kid yelling for his mom to come back, but I was in my own little world, so I was not paying attention just enjoying the last of the day's sun on my face, and for once peaceful dreams. Waking up with a start when I felt a presence beside me, nuzzling into my neck and a hand rubbing along my thigh, that I knew did not belong to my wife.

I was abruptly forced to full wakefulness by the sound of a voice as familiar as my own, though at this minute it has taken on tight irritated tone.

"Oh for heavens sake woman, have you no shame? Kindly remove your unwelcome, self from MY HUSBAND'S personal space and be on your way."

By now I am fully awake and standing with my arms around Rachel trying to hold her back, because I can see her temper is about to explode.

"Finny baby, it is alright I promise, I am not about to have public fist-i-cuffs with this woman, I am going to calmly gather our belongings and move away , though I fail to see why we should be forced to move and have our evening spoiled… nevertheless we will. At least it will enable me to enjoy my evening with MY HUSBAND, watching the fireworks and celebrating our country's independence.

I would suggest _you_, Ms Fabray go and find your son who if I am not mistaken is that sad little boy over there crying for you and most probably thinking he has been abandoned.

I would wish you a good evening but I do not feel you deserve the simple courtesy. So I will say again, as you have obviously forgotten our '_conversation_' from high school. Finn Hudson is mine… legally since October 1963, but if one really wants to get to the bare facts, then, September 2 - 1955 would be a more precise time line. Is that right honey?"

She turns her face to look at me and I just nod smiling at her spunk before leaning down to kiss her. Trying not to laugh aloud at Quinn Fabray's unbelieving snort and the total disinterest in her son who has now joined his mother, and hanging on so tightly to her skirt, his little fists have turned white.

"_Your_ husband? You are joking right. Why would he marry you?"

"Because Ms Fabray… even though it is none of your damn, (pardon my language) business I love her and I have done so from the first day of freshman year, so go away and leave us alone."

I lean a bit closer so my voice does not carry to the child, and now quite large crowd of expectant firework watchers.

"Have you told your son who is father is? I know it was not Sam Evans because I held him as he was waiting for a chopper to take him to a hospital after he trod on a land mine, and he told me the real story. He died you know only a few hours after we spoke when the enemy shot him and three other good brave men out of the sky. I never liked you in school and certainly not now, so I will reiterate my wife's words go away and leave me and mine the hell alone!

I bend down to pick up our chequered picnic rug , shaking the loose grass off it and take Rach's hand pulling her away from the crowd towards the car, but we get no more than a couple of feet before the loud whooshing signaling the release of the first firework causes me to scream. "RACHEL NO" and drop to the ground pulling Rach as close as possible and covering her tiny body with mine.

The effort knocked the air out of Rach's lungs but she manages to puff out "F-Finn honey it is ok I promise it is just the 4th of July fireworks in Lima Ohio, I am alright and so are you baby, please believe me Finn."

I cannot move I am lying on the ground crying like a baby. Rach finally manages to loosen my hold, sits next to me holding my head against her chest, ignoring everyone and everything… even the fireworks have faded into the background as a dull thumping, and all I hear is Rach once she starts to sing

"_When I find myself in times of trouble_

_Mother Mary comes to me_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

_And in my hour of darkness_

_She is standing right in front of me_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom, let it be_

_And when the broken hearted people_

_Living in the world agree_

_There will be an answer, let it be_

_For though they may be parted_

_There is still a chance that they will see_

_There will be an answer, let it be_

_And when the night is cloudy_

_There is still a light that shines on me_

_Shine on till tomorrow, let it be_

_I wake up to the sound of music,_

_Mother Mary comes to me_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be…"_

"Come on honey let's get you home. I am feeling rather tired and are ready for bed. I allow her to lead me towards the car, afraid to let go of her hand, so she climbs into the car through the passenger side until she is behind the steering wheel, tugging me in behind her, and then reaching over me to shut the door. As soon as we get home, Rach tugs me into the bathroom and turns on the shower, stripping all our clothes off and once we are under the water, steam filling the room she starts to wash me using her vanilla soap and hums what I think is the same song from the park. Keeping her eyes locked on mine, she slowly massages my tense muscles. Her hand moves down my chest, making soothing circles over my skin then angling the hose to rinse off the bubbles. She gets on her knees and begins to kiss my warm body in a line downwards towards my dick, taking the head gently between her lips and slowly bobs her head until I feel myself going deeper into her mouth and touching the back of her throat. She begins to hum again, her hand cupping my sack and gently kneading it, and I feel some of the tension and stress leaving me.

"Baby that feels so good, god I love you, please don't ever stop loving me."

When I can't take anymore I pull her up towards me and slam my lips against hers, whispering "please baby I need you" she smiles and reaches up to kiss me again then turns around bracing her hands against the tiles and presses her smooth round butt against my rock hard member.

I groan as I push inside her at once feeling at peace, my hands find a firm hold on her tiny waist as the water splashes, the sound mixing with our moans and my passion filled groans, echoing against the tiled walls. I pound into my savior, knowing deep in my heart she will always be here for me. I feel my peak coming and pull out turning Rach around, she wraps her arms around my neck and lifts her leg enough over my hip to allow me to slide back in to her tight core.

"I love you so much baby, thank you for you." I pant out. I feel my tiny angel squeezing me and I give another couple of hard thrusts slamming my lips on to hers, her mouth swallowing my cry as I cum, shooting my load deep inside her shaking body.

Without loosing contact, I reach out to turn off the water and carefully lift her out on the bathmat grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her honeyed shoulders then sort of collapsing on the floor bursting into tears, unable to help it or do anything to make myself let go of Rach.

"Shush baby it is ok, I am here and I promise I am never going to leave you, I want to help you sweetheart just tell me how? I love you Finn… honey you will be all right, I love you nothing will hurt me baby."

"J-just keep l-loving me, I-I'm sorry I'm such a useless, needy …."

I hear Rach's voice hitch so I know she is crying as well.

"Finn Hudson, I promised to stick by you in sickness and in health, through the good times and the bad, and I am not going to bail on you now or ever! Honey, none of this is your fault, the things you saw over there and had to do, are bound to upset and hurt you. But you have me and I will do everything in my power to help you get better, because I love you with every fiber of my being and I do not ever want anyone else. You are now and forever more my hero."

"You are mine," I whisper

She kisses my teary face, and stands up causing the towel to fall off her glistening perfect body, and as I look up at her, I can't describe how much I respect and worship her for sticking by me. I know I have problems and maybe it is time to see a shrink. Rach and I had been talking about trying for another baby, and how maybe it will help me, and I dearly want that too but I am scared I will stuff it up and…

"Honey we will get our baby one day, and when we do you will be the best daddy in the world, but for now you are more important, we have plenty of time to have a baby. Now come on love lets go to bed…"

We climb into our bed and as Rachel again holds my head against the left side of her breast, as I suckle her she starts to sing,

"_This world don't give you nothing it can't take away_

_Everybody holding on to something_

_Nobody wants to fade away_

_No forgiveness on the streets of this town_

_I left my patience at a traffic light_

_There's no denying that I almost lost it_

_Threw in the towel, too tired to fight_

_Tonight I need you_

_More than yesterday_

_Take me, touch me, hold me like you mean it_

_Make me come alive_

_Hurt me, heal me, come and make me feel it_

_Rescue me tonight_

_Love me back to life_

_These days I'd trade sight for feeling_

_There are days my feeling's gone_

_Can't figure out whose life I'm living_

_I don't know right from wrong_

_When I lost my faith _

_You found it and gave it back to me_

_There's a new light on your halo; it took blind eyes to see_

_That I need you_

_More than yesterday_

_Yeah I need you_

_Take me, touch me, hold me like you mean it_

_Make me come alive_

_Hurt me, heal me, come and make me feel it_

_Rescue me tonight_

_Love me back to life…"_

As she repeats the last verse a few times, I let her nipple slide out of my mouth, and pull myself up the bed a bit, so I am face to face with my angel. Her tears are silently streaming, all I can do is whisper my thanks, and how I wish I had a better word than love because I can't express the depths of my feelings adequately, with just four letters.

The soft kiss she gives me is answer enough.

xxxxx

Things get worse after the July 4 holiday and for a few weeks I completely close myself off from every one, except Rachel. I still went to work but after speaking to my doctors, it was recommended that for a time I be taken off active duty and so I started as a desk officer, which was ok to a certain extent but was as boring as watching the fucking grass grow in the wintertime. Therefore, it gave me more time in my day to think about things. The circle of despair, and feelings of uselessness spinning around in my head non-stop. One particular day after a tough case of an abused wife Samantha Quinlivan and kids, (the husband Evan was an ex-marine) came across my desk. All I could see were the names, (it was too close to Sam Evans and Quinn Fabray and the familiarity must have triggered something in my head). I ran off to the bathroom and threw up until it felt like my internal organs would be next in the toilet, then sat in a corner of the cubical trying to be as small as possible crying like a baby. While my brain was bringing up all sorts of memories of Sam Evans the war and the many, many injured people including the children I saw in Vietnam. Then the movie jumps to mine and Rach's baby girl that we were denied the chance to know. I don't know how long I sat there for but finally I got up, splashed my face with cold water, and told the captain I had to go as I wasn't feeling good.

"Just take care Huddy, and let me know what you're doing man, Let your beautiful wife look after you ok? 'N you'll be ok man." He said as he shook my hand.

I just nodded dumbly as my voice had got stuck in my throat; I was hoping Dean Williams wasn't around when I left. Because he was the only person at the station, who thought PTSD was some sort of 'pretend' sickness. That wimpy pussy's used as an excuse to get out of going on patrol in the cold and snow, and made a point of saying something every time he saw me, and the way I was at the minute he would be lucky to get up of the floor if I saw him. I made it to my car and for a few minutes, just sat there resting my head on the steering wheel. I needed a drink; so on my way home I stopped at the liquor store and picked up a bottle of whiskey…

That one bottle led to two then three maybe more a week, I lost count and before I knew what was happening I was taking stress leave from the force and spending all my days sitting in the basement just looking at my shiny red drum kit. Too fucking scared to even pick up the sticks and hit the bass, 'coz every time I did it sounded like a gunshot in my head. Poor Rach was trying everything she could to help me, and all I did was yell at her, and then after she found my stash of whiskey bottles, I accused her of stealing my stuff and what was her freaking problem with a man having a drink if he wanted, it was none of her business. If she did not like what I did in my own house, why did she bother staying? She would be better off with some fancy smart dude like, that new Lima TV host Rod Remington or what ever his name was, with the suit and slick hair, at least he would not pull her down to loserville, she was a star and she needed to shine, so she should just leave me.

She did the same thing every time I blew up at her, she would just hold my face in her soft little hands and press a kiss on my mouth then say through worried tears.

"_I love YOU Finn Hudson and I will never leave you, I know this isn't the real you and one day I will get you back. I know you are hurting baby and I am trying to help you."_

Then, she would sing to me it never mattered what it was, but I would pull her tight against me and apologize, repeatedly for being a jerk, murmuring my words through my own rivers of tears that just kept falling and staining her clothes, I know she loves me and is only trying to help. I know somewhere in my fucked up head I still loved her, I would only ever love her, but I was so lost and confused and scared…

"I love you so damn much Rach. Maybe it is time I went to New York where they had special clinics for PTSD. 'Cause I' am so fucking scared one day I will hurt you bad baby and if I did that I would never forgive myself and more than likely kill my self, 'coz if I didn't have you… my tiny star, my life it isn't worth living."

"Finn Hudson don't you ever let me hear you say that, you know I am not me without you and if anything ever happened to you baby it would be the end of me, remember we are Finchel and we will get through this together, besides our babies need to know their daddy was strong enough to beat this.

I suddenly sober at her mention of babies and look from her face to her tiny belly, raising my hand to put over it, when she takes it and lifts it to her mouth, shaking her head and saying softly. "No honey not yet but one day soon"

xxxxx

By October 1968, two months after my breakdown Rach and I have moved into the New York apartment, her parents kept there for visits and such. It was in a nice quiet area not that far from central park. Referrals from my doctor in Lima, the Police doctor and shrink, as well as the records from the hospital, I was patched up in after I was wounded, were sent to a Dr Sidney Freedman, at the New York PTSD clinic.

Rach and I walked in to the pleasant waiting room and I told the receptionist who I was, hoping I would not have too long to wait. I was a bit early 'cause I was very nervous, talking about my problems especially with a stranger. However, Rach promised me I would be ok, and just to answer his questions honestly. She thought my sessions would most probably be a forum for me to talk about things, she promised to come in with me and said if I felt like it afterwards maybe, we could grab some lunch and eat in the park.

I was told the Doctor would see me after about 10 minutes of anxious waiting I had no idea what the Dr. was like or if he would just look at me over the top of his tiny half glasses ( did he even wear glasses?) would I have to lay on a couch? But when I stood up to follow the office lady, Rach's little hand held tightly in mine, I was met by a short, small built man with a mop of tight graying curls and a grey mustache. He immediately held out his hand for a shake and said in a soft, caring voice

"Hello Finn, My name is Dr. Sidney Freedman, but feel free to call me Sidney if it makes you more comfortable, please come in and take a seat in which ever chair you like."

I just nodded and shook his hand then followed him into his office; the light colored walls were covered in frames containing certificates and diplomas and just over his desk. I saw a photo of him sitting with his arms around the shoulders of the doctors that patched me up, Hawkeye and Trapper sitting around what looked like a poker table. I immediately felt relaxed and settled my long frame into a leather club chair Rach sat next to me facing Sidney as he lay on his couch turning onto his side and resting his head on his folded arm, and started to talk.

"Do you have any questions Finn? Before we start proper,"

At my negative headshake, he starts again.

"First up please don't look on these sessions as a typical doctor/patient appointment you aren't sick in the physical sense, it is just that what you have experienced, it just all became too much, and your mind has decided it has had enough and needs to rest for a bit. Therefore, for three hours a week we can just talk about anything you want. If you want to scream yell or even kick stuff over that is fine. Now from your file here it says you are a married and a police officer with the Ohio highway patrol yes?"

I nod and turn my head to Rachel sending her a soft smile, which she returns and squeezes my hand.

"Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?

"Um yeah ok… well I… um was born in Lima Ohio, and grew up as an only child. I was happy, my Dad worked at the Lima Steel plant and my Mom was a nurse. My best buddy Puck, who I met at Kindergarten was always at our house though 'cause his place wasn't real good, with his dad an' all, so I guess it was like having a brother. Anyway I played little league and by the time I was ready for high school my Dad said if I wasn't picked to play QB, then the coach didn't know what he was talking about. Well anyway, at tryouts just after freshman year started I was indeed good enough and got the top spot, coach Beiste really did know what she was talking about, 'cept a few of the other guys refused to listen to her. I helped as much as I could but after a while, they changed their minds 'specially when we started winning games."

"Was her first name Shannon by any chance?" At my nod Sidney goes on "I know of her, and agree that her coaching talents are good enough to get her to a super bowl team, but of course being a woman in a 'man's' world is extra hard. I knew a guy in Korea from Toledo Ohio, is that far from Lima? His name is Max Klinger, man some of the things he used to dress up in always trying to prove he was crazy but I heard after the war he stayed after because fell in love with a local girl, small world huh?"

"Oh man this is amazing you know three people I do and already I feel less nervous."

"Three?" Sidney looks puzzled for a minute

"Well yeah," I point to the photograph of him with Trapper and Hawkeye, hanging on the wall behind him. Making him turn his head and as he gets what I am meaning his face breaks into a wide smile.

"Those two misfits" he says fondly and shakes his head. "I still don't know the total amount they owe me from losing at poker when we were in Korea, but if they are the ones who patched you up then you my friend are one extra lucky guy. They are the best doctors I have seen, in all my years of practice, and like what you have experienced in Vietnam. Korea was hell but those two and the rest of the team made it bearable. I remember one tim…. No we are here to talk about you, tell me how you met your wife hmm"

"Rachel…" I sigh happily; smiling at her sitting next to me my dimples showing up in all their dorkyness, forgetting Sidney is even there, lost in my own world I start to talk about my Rach.

"We met when I literally ran in to her on the first day of freshman year in high school and knocked her to the floor. I fell for her the minute I heard her sweet voice, and did my best even though we were just friends, to protect her from the queen of the bullies…"

All of a sudden, my voice seems to be stuck in my throat, and I grip the arms of the chair so tightly my hands ache and my knuckles turn white. I want to get up but can't let go. My breath stops and my lungs burn with a need for air and the pounding of my heart feels like a jackhammer. Then all of a sudden, I hear Rach's voice and spin my head to the right locking eyes with wide brown ones as she raises a hand and strokes my face.

"It is okay baby I am safe here with you and nothing will hurt or take me away from you."

I lean my forehead until it touches Rach's and feel her lips on mine, my breathing and heart rate slowly return to normal.

"S-sorry I-I need the bathroom… won't be long. I choke out"

"It's down the hall to your left Finn" Sidney says, I nod my thanks. Kiss Rach on the cheek and leave the room.

"Is there some part of that story that has carried on since high school Rachel? It is not breaching patient confidentially, because you are his wife and know more about his background than I do, but if you can give me a heads up?"

"Yes of course, well it was like he said. On the very first day of 9th grade after Finn had accidentally knocked me over in the hall, and well… let me just say from that day. A girl a Quinn Fabray has had her eye on Finn even though he has never shown her the slightest interest she has had it in for me. After Finn joined our glee club, her and her cronies started to pick on our club mates; you know letters, rumors, crude drawings on bathroom walls that sort of thing even going so low as to lock our wheelchair bound friend in a janitors shed. Then Somehow dragging in to her so called 'cool kids group' some football players and other jocks, one of which was Finn's best friend Noah Puckerman, Puck to everyone else, though I know he was keen on her from the outset and perhaps thought that he stood a chance to get her to date him. If he went along with her he even told Finn that the problems we others were having were his fault for joining glee in the first place. Those words really upset Finn as he was finding such enjoyment, in music and a solid friendship with the other glee kids, who were and still are wonderful people. Finn encouraged Noah to join many times but he never did, until sophomore year when he realized that he was wasting both his life being an idiot and also missing finding his inner talent.

Rachel takes a few minutes to calm her own temper down, every so often looking at the door, while Sidney wrote notes.

"After the football team won the championship, in front of the entire school and our parents she made a play for Finn, (she was now a cheerleader and thought popularity was the most important thing in the world). She was always going on about being popular and winning the prom queen crown. As though that would gain her a step up into high society) and give her a perfect reputation, well she and I had an altercation when I asked her to leave my boyfriend alone, and well… she punched me in the face. After that most of her 'friends' stopped their childish nonsense, I also heard that Noah had given her a verbal beat down and told her to stay away from Both Finn and I. He then joined the glee club, showing himself and everyone else he was a good person and could get away from the small town mindset of being a _'Lima Loser'_."

At Sidney's questioning look Rachel explains that a Lima Loser was somebody who was never expected to amount to anything and to stay in Lima doing whatever menial jobs they could like pumping gas or living off welfare, even turning to petty crimes, because they were just not interested in helping their own selves.

"Noah was also doing what he could to repair his friendship with Finn. But this girl who expected everyone to bow to her every whim still carried on with her nonsense, trying to spoil the one thing Finn felt comfortable and happy with, his music, then to top it off she tricked Finn's friend Sam Evans ( who was also in glee club). Into thinking he had gotten her pregnant after a drunken football celebration party, just before we all graduated senior year. Her father basically threatened Sam's family with ruin if he didn't marry her"

Sidney's eyebrows rose in surprise at this but he stayed quiet.

"Well to cut a long story short, Finn lost touch with Sam after school and it wasn't until Sam was injured and had been taken to Finn's MASH unit in Vietnam, that the two met up again, and as he laid waiting for the helicopter to transport him to the main hospital. Sam told Finn what had happened and finding out when the little boy was two, that she had lied and he was someone else's responsibility. Sam then filed for divorce and as soon as he had signed the papers, he joined up, and then the helicopter was shot out of the sky … well now, every time she sees Finn she makes a play for him saying she has missed him and other such twaddle.

Finn is reminded each time he has any sort of contact with her or hears a name that sounds familiar to hers or Sam's, and I think, he associates it to what happened to Sam and to a small extent what she did to me during high school, and he has a breakdown. In addition, his love of music has been lost because it made him happy and with all the horrible things that have happened to his musical friends… As well as us losing our baby when I was knocked down, by a mob of anti war protesters, and kicked in the stomach, as we were leaving a concert by his old band mates from college. It all just became too much and as you just saw my singing calms him it always has, but now I am so worried what if he has an episode and I'm not around…?"

"Rachel please…"

Just as Sidney was, about to speak the door opens and Finn walks back in, his face flushed and his hair wet. He immediately makes his way to Rachel tugging her onto his lap and sends Sidney an apologetic look. However, he at least is calmer now.

"Well Finn your beautiful wife has filled me in on what we think is the trigger for your breakdowns a particular name belonging to a woman from your past. Furthermore, I am sure we will help you overcome these problems. I do recommend though that you try to revisit your love of music and if you start to feel low, remembering things, then let the music take you over. I also think a few more visits with me, to help get the rest of it off your chest I am sure you will ok soon. Before our next session I'd like you to try and think of a word or phrase or even a happy memory that you can use as your '_safe word'_ for you to focus on when the feelings come back, can you do that?

I looked at Sidney then at my Rach nodding and smiling through her gentle tears, so thankful she had told the doctor what went on, I had sort of figured that, that name had been the cause of my breakdowns but I was so glad to have my suspicions confirmed.

"Of course Sidney I can do that so what happens now… wait you aren't going to put me on meds are you? 'cause there's no way I want that."

"No I won't, but I will give you a list of relaxation ideas to help you sleep if you have a bad night, continue to do what you love, talk to your wife and call me anytime about anything. Now have you any questions?"

I looked at Rach again nodding my head at our secret communication , " Um yeah well do you think it is a good idea for me and Rach… to um try for another baby, I-I mean I won't pass on anything or… you don't think it is too soon and I might freak out?"

Sidney blushes slightly at my question before he clears his throat

"Er um well I think if you two have talked about wanting a baby then I think as long as you are able to provide for and love one then by all means try away, I always liked the idea of being Uncle Sidney."

We all laughed at his little joke, "Seriously Finn you can beat these nightmares and feelings of uselessness and depression. You are strong and I can tell you have solid backup and support from your beautiful wife and I am sure you will make a terrific dad, just don't put too much pressure on yourself it will happen when it happens."

Jumping out of my chair, I let Rach put her feet on the floor and reached over the coffee table to shake Sidney's hand pumping it firmly in gratitude for his advice and not trying to fill me up with all manner of pills, like some of the other guys' had told me some doctors did.

"You are welcome Finn, I'll see you same time on Thursday alright?

Rach and I left his office and I felt free of thinking I was going to, go all King Kong type crazy at any given minute, and the thought of a Finchel baby… well man! That just made me smile.

We spent the afternoon in the park enjoying our hot dogs and pretzels from the street venders, talking about the session with Sidney and trying to figure out a good safe word

I had found a position not long after arriving in New York, as a mechanic at a garage only a couple of blocks from home. The owner George Watson totally understood if I needed to leave at anytime as he had suffered PTSD, as had his son Des, but unfortunately Des wasn't strong enough and let the darkness take him over, then just over a year later ended it all by jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge at only 25 years old.

I was doing ok after a few months, oh… I still woke up with nightmares a couple of times a week, but now I could even stay in the workshop, without freaking out. When George introduced a new guy by the name of Jonah **Sam**son, who turned out to be a really cool guy, when he was at school in Atlanta he played QB too, so we had football to talk about.

Rach and I spend a lot of time making love and really enjoying each other, I mean don't get me wrong I have always enjoyed our _'romantic assignations'_ but lately I have been more into Rach's needs… I know she wants a baby and I do to, but I have just felt like I have been doing all the taking from her and not really giving back.

Rach applied for and was offered a job at the same clinic but working with children and women, some days she comes home so sad after hearing the stories, in some cases, they were family members of returned service personal. I was not surprised to hear of nurses attending her sessions, as I know from my own experiences; the nurses had it just as, if not harder, as they were in the wards with the guys all the time

xxxxx

After every session with Sidney, I felt so much better and after 5 months, I could hear the names, Sam, Quinn or Fabray and not get upset. Sidney was overjoyed and made me promise to keep in touch, but to please feel free to call him or come by and see him at anytime if things changed.

On my way home that night from work after I had my last session with Sidney, I stopped at the florist near our place and picked up a couple of dozen pink tulips to surprise Rach. I walk in the door to hear her singing along with the radio so I cannot help but join in. I have always loved the rock and roll type of music and have a large record collection but there is just something about country music that is so beautiful. Every song, like most music is a story, but country always gets right inside, maybe 'cause the people have really experienced life, I don't know, but I do know I love it, and the guy singing, Glen Campbell has some great songs. True Grit is one of my favorites as is the one playing now, Wichita Lineman.

"_I am a lineman for the county and I drive the main road_

_Searchin' in the sun for another overload_

_I hear you singin' in the wire, I can hear you through the whine_

_And the Wichita lineman is still on the line_

_I know I need a small vacation but it don't look like rain_

_And if it snows that stretch down south won't ever stand the strain_

_And I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time_

_And the Wichita Lineman is still on the line_

_And I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time_

_And the Wichita Lineman is still on the line…_

_And I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time"_

"You know it is rude to sneak up on a person and take over their singing don't you Mr. Hudson?" Rach looks at me with a faux pout on her face and her big brown eyes shining with mischief.

"Well yes I am aware of that fact Mrs. Hudson, I do know the police laws you know, but your voice is always so lovely and that song gets me right here" I press my hand over the right side of my chest, and sigh dreamily.

"You are so silly Finny, your heart is on this side" she giggles and is now standing in front of me her little hand over the top of mine, moving it across my t-shirt clad chest till it rests over my heart."

"It is beating really hard." I half whisper while losing my self in her eyes.

"Well do you think if you kiss me it will help the situation? Mr. Hudson, I have missed you today, and I need you, maybe we will be lucky this time."

We have been trying for a baby for months now and I know how sad Rach gets every month when nothing happens. I hope it happens soon 'cause we are nearly 30 and we want to enjoy playing with our kids in the park or chasing a football around, and Rach is worried that the older she gets might mean the baby could have problems or something.

As we pull apart from our intense, kiss Rach slumps against my chest, breathing heavily. I scoop her up and carry her down the hall to our bedroom. Laying her on the bed just looking at her beautiful face. I start to remove my clothes, maintaining eye contact the entire time, while I am getting naked Rach is doing the same thing and as she uncovers her already glistening, bare centre. I can't help but feel my breath, hitch in my chest as I gaze down at her. I hurriedly take off my t-shirt just as she lifts her tank top, leaving her completely naked, her chest heaving, making her gorgeous boobs shake. She is cheekily beckoning me over to her with a tiny finger.

I kneel either side of her body and lean down resting my weight on my hands, pressing my mouth against hers channeling all my love for her in that single action. My lips move off hers and down the silky column of her neck and along her collarbone, nipping her vanilla scented skin every few kisses, smiling at her soft moans and sighs. I continue my travels downwards chuckling deep in my throat at her insistent hip thrusts, as I get closer to where I know she wants my mouth.

"Is there something I can do for you baby girl? I ask innocently

"You know damn well what I want Hudson so please be quick and stop teasing me just put your beautiful enormous cock where it belongs before I die of frustration."

I am always more turned on by her bad girl language so as I position myself at her now dripping entrance I lean up and press another kiss on her mouth and whisper "I love you baby" causing a deep guttural moan to burst from her lips as I thrust inside her. Hoping with all I have that this time our juices mix in the right way to make our longed for baby.

As I push in and out, Rach matches me and our rhythm falls into place as if it is second nature.

"Yes baby harder, faster finny ooohhhh, yes just th… "

"Rach… fuck… I can't hold on much more baby cum with me, oh yeah that's it baby girl, god I love you…"

"Oh my god Finn please, YES, YES YEEEESSSSS! FIIIINNNNYYYY oh baby, I love you so very much baby."

I can't hold back any longer, shooting streams of my semen deep into my love. Our breathing labored, then rolling over still connected to Rach running my fingers through her hair as we lay basking in our love until our heart rates return to normal. More whispered words of love until soft breathing indicates she has fallen asleep. I reach out one arm to gather the bedding, covering up our still sweaty bodies' then turn off the bedside lamp. Praying to the stars to grant us the baby, we so desperately want and need.

Rachel and Finn had, had their prayers answered that night, but it would be another two months before it was common knowledge.

xxxxx

Rachel leaves for work as normal one Monday, looking forward to her session as she had been making great progress with her client Pam, who after being abused as a child, started suffering PTSD 5 years after the events due to being hypnotized in what she thought was a harmless party trick at her friends hens night. Rachel starts their session by singing one of her favourite songs then after the first verse Pam joins in.

"Morning Pam how are you today? Have the sessions been helping you sleep better now you play the music at night?

"Yes Rachel I think they have I put those tapes you made for me in the cassette player and the head phones on and thankfully I don't have as many nightmares. I really cannot thank you enough for all your help; I was beginning to think I was going crazy, because I could not remember why I felt like I did. Now the police are involved and I have your amazing help, I know I can eventually beat it fully."

"That is wonderful news, I am just glad I was able to help you, I know you will be alright. I think you will like this song; it was most probably from before your time but still a beautiful song. Oh my gosh, it makes me feel so old I was only a high school freshman in 1955 when it was released."

"Oh Rachel you aren't old and your voice is wonderful I bet you had all the boys chasing you in school."

Rachel looks down at her left hand and says softly, "There was only ever one boy Pam and I married him, now lets starts shall we? I will sing the first verse as normal and you follow along with the lyrics sheet I put on the chair next to you. Then you can try it by yourself ok?"

Rachel starts the music on the record player and once she starts to sing the words takes her back to the many nights her and Finn would sit cuddled together in her den listening to records.

"_I'll never stop loving you_

_Whatever else I may do_

_My love for you_

_Will live 'til time itself is through_

_I'll never stop wanting you_

_And when forever is through_

_My heart will beat_

_The way it does each time, we meet_

_The night doesn't question the stars_

_That appear in the skies_

_So why should I question the stars_

_That appear in my eyes_

_Of this I'm more than just sure_

_My love will last and endure_

_I'll never, no_

_I'll never stop loving you_

_Of this I'm more than just sure_

_My love will last and endure_

_I'll never, no_

_I'll never stop loving you…"_

"Oh Rachel that was beautiful, gosh I hope to one day find a love like that, I could feel the love you have for your husband and I don't even know him, thank you can we go again?"

"Of course Pam, why don't you star…" a knocking on the door interrupts Rachel's sentence and as she turns around a loud squeal leaves her mouth as she bounds over to open it and wrap her arms around the waist of none other than Noah Puckerman.

"Noah what are you doing here? Oh my goodness it is so good to see you… wait does Finn know you are in New York?" Noah cuts her excited ramble off by putting his hand over her mouth trying to hide his own happiness at seeing a friend.

"Whoa, hold up there little Berry, I think you are scaring your friend with your excitement, (he cheekily sends Pam a wink) across the top of Rachel's head making her blush. I will tell you and Finster every thing, what time do you finish?"

"Oh, um in about 30 minutes"

"Ok well you keep singing, fuck I've missed hearin' you work those pipes. I know you were singing for the Puckster, you've been hiding your feelings for me behind Hudson's giant ass for years, but I'm sorry doll I can't do that to Huddy. I'll be back I just gotta be somewhere, but I even let you cook me dinner for old times sake, how does that sound? But don't you go callin' Huddy, I wanna 'sprize my QB 'k?"

"Oh Noah you haven't changed" lowering her voice she says "and FYI it is his dick not his ass that is giant sized." At Noah's scandalized look hearing her speak like that Rachel bursts into loud happy giggles, he shakes his head and sends Rachel a big smile. "Okay Noah, see you later."

"Gosh, Rachel who was that? Was he one of those boys chasing you?"

Through her snort of laughter Rachel says, "No Pam but he is an old friend and he and my Finn have been friends since kindergarten, now how about we run through that song again from the top." She claps her hands reminiscent of Mr. Schue from glee club.

Right on schedule, Rachel walks out the front door of the therapy center 30 minutes later to find Noah waiting for her leaning nonchalantly against the wall smoking a cigarette, sending flirtatious looks at any pretty girl that walked past, throwing the stub on the ground, scrubbing it out with his booted foot as soon as he sees her. Then digging into his leather jacket pocket for a stick of gum throwing the wrapper in a trash can as they pass. Rachel says she needs to stop at the market if she is to make extra for dinner, so after grabbing some ground beef for meatballs and spaghetti as well as a long French stick for garlic bread and a few other things they are on their way. Noah surprising Rachel by taking the grocery bag from her. During the 15-minute subway journey, the pair makes idle chitchat, but not really touching on the past.

As she puts her key in the lock, she motions for Noah to be quiet. Frowning at his eye roll and hand motions to hurry up and his hiss of "Oh for fucks sake Berry"

"Finn honey I'm home, and I brought you a surprise baby, where are you Finn?"

At the sound of his wife's, voice Finn wanders out of the bedroom dressed in only a pair of sweat pants rubbing a towel over his head and shoulders.

"Hey baby," he leans down to kiss her deeply, "Mmm I missed you today how was your session with Pam? Is she getting better?"

As always, Rachel appreciates how handsome her husband is, with his tall solid frame, and toned body. Not to mention his sexy as hell tattoos and the dark hair covering his chest in tight curls, thinning to his happy trail sadly disappearing into his sweat pants… seemingly lost in her lustful thoughts of what his pants are hiding, she does not hear him call her name…

"Er Rach is everything ok baby? You went somewhere on me."

"Hm? Oh yes, she um sounded wonderful we sang an old Doris Day song. I missed you too so much, but Finny… I have a surprise for you stay there ok baby and do not peek."

"Er ok, but babe you know I don't really like surprises or having my eyes closed for too long… Plus I am half naked here, Raacchh?" Rachel ignores his whine as she motions their visitor into the room.

"Aw man still a freaking pussy I see, geez Huddy I thought you mighta grown some big boy's balls by now man." At the sound of the voice, my eyes spring open and a have a mile wide smile plastered across my face

"Puckerman? What the fuck man what are you doing here, Rach baby its Puck." I say excitedly looking over at my beaming Rach, then unable to help ourselves, Puck and I jump around like grade school kids on the first day of summer vacation.

"I know honey," she says through her happy tears and soft giggles. "I ran into him at the therapy center today, he is staying for dinner so I'll go and get started while you two boys catch up." Rach left with a kiss on my cheek and a beaming smile at Puck then headed off to the kitchen.

However before we could talk too much Puck looks at his watch and says, "He has to go but he will be back within 45 minutes".

We fist bump just like the old days before he disappears out the front door. Shaking my head at the day's events, I wander to our bedroom and put on a shirt and some socks, then into the kitchen to see if Rach needs any help with dinner.

"Can you believe it baby? Puck here in New York, was he at the center too or just passing?"

"I don't know honey I was halfway through my session with Pam and there was a knock on the door then Noah walked in. We chatted for a few minutes then he said he had to go but asked me what time I finished and he said he would meet me after and as a treat, I could make him dinner." Rachel playfully rolled her eyes at his demand "Then when I came out there he was, he even came with me to the market and carried the grocery bag the whole time on the subway.

True to his word, Noah arrives back at the Hudson apartment, 40 minutes later. Just as Rachel was dishing dinner up

As fully expected Finn and Rachel are speechless for a few minutes but nonetheless surprised at their friends '_surprise_' but even to a stranger, there is no denying the little boy is a Puckerman, because he looks just like Puck , well except for the close-cropped mo-hawk he has shaved his hair into.

"Noah a son? Oh my, he is just adorable what is his name, when did this happen?"

"Well Bossyberry if you give me a chance I'll tell you" Rachel huffs and rolls her eyes at Berry but her interest is too high to let it bother her or point out she has not been a Berry for years.

"I met his Mom in Vietnam she was a nurse, named Peggy Elderbrook about 4 months before my tour was up. I didn't even know about him till she lobbed up on my doorstep, she'd never been with a man before and she said he looked just like me so…, and yes Berry I got one of them paternity tests done which proved 100% he was mine. She said she'd used her contacts with the Red Cross, to track me down and then just left the baby with me, when he was only a month old, without even naming him, signing over all parental rights and telling me to forget her as she was going to forget both me and the kid."

At Rachel's gasp of concern, Puck smiles sadly, "Yeah, well you play with fire long enough I guess one day you'll get your ass burned. His name is Chris, Christopher Noah, and he just turned two."

"Christopher, Puck?"

"Yeah well if it weren't for you man I'dve been stuck as a Lima Loser the rest of my life, so I took a twig off your paper halfway through sophomore year and changed my ways. I even saw that pansy assed play, you were always going on about Berry that had my namesake in it, and have to admit it wasn't half bad."

Rachel interjects through her wet giggle "It is taking a leaf out of ones book Noah"

While I am trying to hold back my laughter, just imagining Puck, the resident badass of McKinley High watching a musical play with fairies and the like dancing around the stage in tights.

Puck rolls his eyes and says feigning sarcasm, "Thank you Berry, well as I was saying his tone now serious, you've always been my hero man, even though it took me a few years to figure it out and stop bein' an ass, so I figure naming my kid after you was the least I could do… I do have one favor to ask though," Puck says nervously.

As he looked across the table at Rachel who was helping little Chris with his dinner a happy contented smile on her beautiful face, (he had always thought the tiny brunette was beautiful and sexy as hell. Even when he was being mean to her at school, but also knew she only had eyes for his giant friend, the same went for him). Finn noticed his gaze and followed it, his own face taking on a sad but at the same time a happy look. He cleared his throat turning Finchel's attention back to him.

"Anything man," I said

"Well before I say anything just understand that I have spent a lot of time trying to figure this out and searchin' all over this damn country for you two. But after seeing you both tonight with Chris…, I-I want you to be guardians for him and later on adopt him and bring him up as your own. I know you will make much better parents than me… I just can't be what he needs, plus unlike you Huddy I don't got a beautiful Jewish, American princess, to love and help me, and that makes all the difference."

We try to interject but Puck holds up a hand indication he has more to say

"I have been trying to cope with my own PTSD, which I am ashamed to admit I tried to fix by partying. I have a dead end job working in a hardware store and trying to care for a baby, leaving him during the day with my crazy half drunk all the time landlady at the shitty boarding house I live in, although I think most of the day the TV is doin' all the baby sittin'. I was too ashamed to go back to Lima and ask my folks for help because I knew how disappointed my Mom would have been with my playboy ways and the fact his mother isn't Jewish. I knew my old man wouldn't care but Mom and Joanie… well I didn't wanna dump my problems in their laps, they had enough of their own. I'm begging you to take him, he is too young to know any different and I know you would do what was right I have the papers all ready to go they just need your signatures, and the judge to ok it.

The lawyer dude who helped me said that if anything was to happen to me and no official guardians are documented Chris would go into care, and I want him to be better than me, have goals and dreams and not be ashamed to be himself. Not get into trouble and passed around from one foster home to another his whole life. Please guys at least think about it spend some time with him, he is a great kid, I really do love him, but…."

"O-oh my Noah that is a big decision to make, I fully understand the troubles you are having with your PTSD and will help you if you need it… but to just sign your child over to us…"

Rach looked at me, tears in her eyes then at little Chris happily munching on his meatballs, his little face smothered in spaghetti sauce, he was totally enjoying himself and completely oblivious to what us grown ups were talking about. Then he looked at Rach held out his hand offering the remains of his meatball to her and said around his beaming Noah smile, "Momma yum"

Rach burst into tears and rushed off to the bedroom, collapsing on our bed with great big breath stealing sobs. I followed soon after, and just wrapped my arms around her shaking body, whispering soothing words into her hair. She calmed down enough to speak after 10 minutes or so, looking at me with pleading eyes, her face puffy from her tears. I know how much she wants to be a Mom, but Puck's request has come from way out of left field and it is gonna take a little bit of time to get used to. She takes a deep breath and blows her nose, before asking me in a soft timid voice

"Finny please go and get the spare bedding for Noah and Christopher and tell him to stay the night. I cannot bear to think of that darling little boy being forced to spend another night in that terrible boarding house with that drunken slush in charge. I will go next door and ask if Mrs. Le'Rayne has some clothes, diapers, and such I can borrow for Chris. I know her youngest Stevie is nearly at kindergarten but I am sure she will have something.

While Rach was next door, I explained to Puck about our baby girl and how Rach was left to cope with everything when I was called up and how we had been trying since I recovered to have our own. By the time, Rachel returned from next door, her arms filled with a paper grocery bag overflowing with clothes, Puck and I have cleaned up the kitchen and given Chris a bath. He was now cocooned in a towel on the sofa watching an animal show about otters on the TV. Rachel unpacks a diaper and plastic over pants and some pins from the bag as well as a tiny undershirt and sleep suit printed with baby dinosaurs, she even puts on a pair of socks that have different colored toes. Making Chris giggle when she tickled his feet trying to get the little sock toes over his wiggly feet. Then lifts him up and cannot help but kiss his chubby little cheek before looking over at the men sitting at the table her eyes glassy with unshed tears.

She tucks the little boy in his makeshift bed smiling when she sees the little teddy bear dressed as a police officer that Finn won for her the other year, sitting on the pillow. After pressing another kiss on his cheek, she stands, switching off the main light just leaving the table lamp on then turning towards the bedroom, stopping at the doorway and looking at Puck, and saying softly.

"I think you and Christopher should move in here for a little while Noah, that way we can all get used to each other. That boarding house is certainly no place for an innocent child, I will start on the spare room tomorrow so please bring over what ever clothes and equipment you have, goodnight."

xxxxx

After a couple of months or so Puck is given the all clear from his doctors and is determined to reenlist in the army, as a chopper pilot just like he was on his first tour, his mind finally at rest over Chris. The adoption is approved by the court Judge, citing Pucks imminent return to the armed forces during wartime and the pleading letter he wrote explaining his request and knowing that Mr. and Mrs. Finn Hudson would be the best parents any child could ask for. The Judge, after doing reference checks on both Rach and I decided that even though the circumstances, were, albeit a little odd, took into account everything Puck had told him and our background history and Rach's training as a teacher. Thankfully, he ruled in our favor, giving Rachel and me permission to legally adopt Chris as our own and change his name to Christopher Noah Hudson as per Pucks adamant instructions.

XXXXX

Rachel had been feeling off for a few weeks and I was very worried about her, but she put it down to the stress of the court appearances and adjusting to life with a toddler. "I promise baby if I am still feeling off tomorrow I will go to the doctor."

I kissed her goodbye on my way to work the next morning and reminded her about going to the doctor, she was pale and I heard her get up in the early hours to go to the bathroom and throw up. In the back of my mind, I was hoping that maybe this time we got lucky and her sickness was due to her being pregnant. I kept my fingers and toes crossed all day. (Which I gotta say made walking a tad painful)

By 10:30am, she was at the local office of Dr. Greenly watching happily, as Chris played in the kiddy corner with some blocks, making what looked like a football field, and by mid morning, her suspicions were confirmed she was indeed pregnant. Her heart filled with glee at her news and she could not wait to tell Finn. She and Chris had decided to go to the zoo after her doctor's appointment, and by the time late afternoon arrived, she was exhausted, so as a treat decided that a takeout dinner of Chinese food was the go for dinner. Chris was asleep in his stroller; she giggled a little at the thought of being pushed around all-day could make a child so tired but he had a ball. She can still hear his happy contagious laugh at the antics of the animals, the otters and the penguins being his favorites by far. He really was an angel and such a loving little boy, considering so much change had taken place in his short life so far. He was so much like Noah it was uncanny even down to his mischievous hazel eyes, cheeky grin and eyebrow wiggle, which on a 2 year old was more amusing than sexy, as Noah always seemed to think it was.

One arm filled with the bag of takeout and her other on the stroller's handle Rachel, thankful more so now than ever that their building has an elevator, pressed the button for their floor, relishing the few minutes of quiet. She knew her husband was home because as she was putting her key in the door his strong baritone voice was singing along with a favourite Glen Campbell song. Rachel stops just inside the door smiling as she listens to her man's beautiful, and dare she say sexy voice, she is so happy to hear him singing again that it brings tears to her eyes. Well, she puts it down to that and not her pregnancy hormones. Chris wakes up demanding to be let out of the stroller's restraints and get to his "Daddy" Rachel shushes him for a few minutes by swapping the bag of food in her arms for his little body and waiting for Finn to get further into the song.

"_It's knowing that your door is always open_

_And your path is free to walk_

_That makes me tend to leave my sleeping bag _

_Rolled up and stashed behind your couch_

_And it's knowing I'm not shackled_

_By forgotten words and bonds_

_And the ink stains that are dried upon some line…"_

Thinking he has waited long enough Chris squirms out of Rachel's arms and races as fast as his little legs will go into the living room yelling for Finn as he goes,

"Daddy, daddy me momma did sawed odders 'n pengens, at da zoo why yo stop singin' cwisy sing twoo"

Spinning on the spot, I see my family my little boy and my beautiful wife with a look on her face that makes me think she has some wonderful news. I quirk an eyebrow at her just as Chris launches himself into my arms, and she just nods her brunette head smiling through her tears, as she walks through to the kitchen, I hear the clinking of china as she sets out our dinner.

"Did you have fun today little man?" his little head nearly nods off with the speed at which he is shaking it, "More singin' daddy pease." I couldn't resist the pleading look on his face,

"Ok just a bit or Momma will get cross at us for missing our dinner." Chris's hands clap wildly nearly hitting me in the face as I put him down to reset the needle on the record player. Then singing again smiling as Chris tries to follow along, only getting every few words right.

"_It's not clinging to the rocks and ivy_

_Planted on their columns now that bring me_

_Or something that somebody said_

_Because they thought we fit together walking_

_It's just knowing that that the world will not be cursing_

_Or forgiving when I walk along some railroad track and find_

_That you're moving on the back roads _

_By the rivers of my memory_

_And for hours you're just gentle on my mind…"_

"Ok buddy dinner time, come on, the two of us men, gotta look after Momma." Chris claps his hands again and says in his most serious tone, "Yeah momma good huh daddy?"

"The best buddy"

Rachel's pregnancy news makes me so happy; I decided that we needed to go back to Lima. For when our baby arrives, but just 2 weeks before we are due to leave Puck is killed in a chopper crash. One of his buddies from his base sent me a letter informing me of the accident.

Of course, we are devastated by this news but I do not suffer with any problems after the first couple of weeks. Which I spent mostly just wandering around in a daze seeing him and his damn mo-hawk or hearing his voice singing some rock and roll song in my head, and of course every time. I see a football game I can't forget about the numerous games I played as QB with him as my receiver and all the things we'd got up to since we were five years old. I can't understand how I am not as affected, over Puck's death as I was about Sam, I rang Sidney Freedman to get his thoughts and he suggested maybe it is because there is no certain blonde woman involved, and maybe 'cause I'll always have a bit of my oldest friend in Chris, he won't ever really be gone. But what ever it is I did spend all night after the funeral at the bar down town drowning my sorrows so to speak. Sitting at the bar, words were racing into my brain like a freight train, I asked the barman for a pen and couple of sheets of paper and started to write the words down.

_We busted out of class, had to get away from those fools_

_We learned more from a three-minute record baby than we ever learned in school_

_Tonight I hear the neighborhood drummer sound_

_I can feel my heart begin to pound_

_You say you're tired and you just want to close your eyes and follow your dreams down_

_We made a promise we swore we'd always remember_

_No, retreat buddy, no surrender_

_Like soldiers in the winter's night with a vow to defend_

_No, retreat no surrender…_

_Now young faces grow sad and old, and hearts of fire grow cold_

_We swore blood brothers against the wind_

_I'm ready to grow young again_

_And I hear your sister's voice calling us home across the open yard_

_Well maybe we could cut someplace of our own_

_With these DRUMS and these GUITARS…_

_No, retreat buddy, no surrender_

I attended his funeral along with Rachel, happy but sad at the same time to see Mrs. Puckerman and Joanie. She was very surprised to hear about Chris and the adoption, but was grateful to us for taking care of the little boy, that due to her ill health and now deep grief she would not have been in a position to do anyway, even if she had been asked. Rach gave her a photograph of Puck and Chris taken just before he went away the last time. Mrs. Puckerman also said she hoped we would let her visit with and get to know Chris.

Rach and I were a little hurt that she even had to ask that, and we assured her that we would send photographs and letters on a regular basis, and then told her we were in the process of moving back to Lima due to Rachel's pregnancy. Wondering if, when she was able, could she sort out a few of Noah's favorite things or pictures that, we could put together for Chris later on, as we fully intend to tell him all about his father when he is older.

Thankfully he is too young to understand, and does not suffer with the loss of Noah too much. He asks about him for a while but Rachel and I hug him tightly, trying to keep our tears at bay as not to scare the little boy, and take him outside to see the stars pointing out that the brightest one is Noah.

After our return to Lima, and we get the house organized, I stop by Hummel tire and lube. Burt Hummel is pleased to see me and is glad I am now ok, asking me in a round about way if I was looking for my old job back, as he had been having trouble with a string of dumb asses who didn't know one end of an exhaust pipe from the other. Happily, I explained that I needed the job, as Rachel was pregnant. Also how I was hoping to get back on the Highway patrol, providing I passed all the tests, and if I was ok to rejoin, I would give him plenty of notice when I was leaving, but if I didn't get back in I'd stay. He thanked me for being honest, and said I could start back in my old spot on Monday morning. I thanked him and we then spent a few minutes catching up, I asked how Kurt and Blaine were going, very glad to hear they were both doing very well work wise and personally, becoming engaged about 3 years ago. He said they were working with a group of civil rights advocates trying to change the marriage laws for homosexual people, but so far were not having much success. I said I was sure it would happen one day but as long as they were happy and together, that is all that mattered for now.

Life back in our hometown is great I can even see the name Fabray-Evans on the front of the local real estate office and not have any problems. Rach promises me she will be ok as now that she has Chris at home the only places she goes are the park or the doctors for her checkups every month. I turn my old bedroom with the cowboy wallpaper on three walls (we never did finish removing it all) into a playroom for Chris, he had building blocks and a little chalkboard, even a little canvas tepee. As well as all sorts of balls, I had started to show him some football skills but Rach laughed at me saying his hands were too small to hold the ball. However, I was stoked when it seemed he liked the football the best, making a point to show Rach how wrong she was. She laughed and conceded defeat, telling Chris to make Daddy work for the ball, just for being cheeky. Rach had made sure there were a bookshelf with lots of Dr. Seuss books and a guitar in there as well.

On my days off I start to decorate the bedroom next to ours for the new nursery, Rachel has just passed the five month mark and is just glowing Chris is just over 2 and a half now and as he grows, he looks more and more like Puck everyday.

XXXXX

I was happy being back in Lima, I had reapplied and been accepted back on the Highway patrol a couple of months later and happily donned my uniform again, and I settled back into the job with no problems.

The only concerns I had were about Rach and making sure she was safe and the closer her delivery date got the more nervous I became. 'Cause now Chris was closer to three than two and a half, he was more than ready to go to prekindergarten when the new school year started in September he was full of energy and was always asking questions.

Rach had taken him with her for her checkup at the baby doctors then they were going to the mall and I would pick them up after my shift at the station finished (he didn't know but she was taking him to the cinema to watch the new Aristocats movie).

I had had a busy day, it seemed every speeding driver had decided to come out today and just happened to be on my stretch of the highway. Therefore, by the time I clocked off and arrived at the mall. After ironically, being held up by a drunk driver that my buddy Dave Stewart was dealing with, and made my way to our designated meeting point, (which was by the bright pink coin operated elephant ride). My head was pounding and I was seeing the reports I'd spent all afternoon writing up every time I closed my eyes, not to mention the cramp in my right hand, thank goodness it was Friday and I wasn't on call over the weekend. So I was just thinking about spending the time finishing off the nursery and spending quality time with Rach and Chris and maybe squeeze in some Finchel time, now Rach is getting bigger she is finding sex an even bigger turn on. My mind full of happy thoughts, I arrived at the pink elephant just in time to hear and see my son with tears streaming down his chubby little face, and his hazel eyes wide with terror…

"D-daddy, daddy, momma falled down ….a-an that 'nuver lady wif wite hairs w-was sayin' nasty fings to m-momma 'n push momma ova" he then burst tears.

"What! Where is Momma buddy?" Chris just points in the general direction as I scoop him up pressing a kiss on his cheek and using my fingers to wipe away his tears. He snuggles as close to my body as he can get and nuzzles his damp face into my neck. I am running towards Rach who I see sitting on the bench hysterically calling for Chris…. and standing over her is the only woman in the world who has ever had a problem with Rach…

QUINN FUCKING FABRAY!

"Momma me finded daddy look you be ok now momma, my bwave daddy here now."

I press a hand over Chris's ear and in the darkest voice I can muster, I spit out "FABRAY GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY WIFE BEFORE I ARREST YOU FOR HARASMENT."

Chris shimmied down my body and launched himself at Rachel scrambling on the seat next to her and pressing his teary face into her neck as her arms wrapped around him like a security blanket, in her relief at him being ok she started to tear up nuzzling her face into his hair

"Oh Chrissy honey, I was so worried about you, are you ok baby?" she moves one hand from around him using it to cup his face and wipe his tears I see him nod his head, but not move from his position in his momma's arms he just grips her shirt tighter

A loud snort of incredulity and Fabray says in a malicious tone "How can you be this kids father he is a spitting image of that idiot Puckerman, I always knew she slept with him, and now she is letting you bring up his bastard kid? Oh, my god what a joke, you really are as dumb as a box of rocks Finny. But well I don't mind th…"

I am trying to hold in my temper, before I lash out and thump her; Rach has stood up and pressed Chris back into my arms, rubbing his cheek. Knowing I am about to explode, before turning to the blonde witch.

Standing up to her full height and even though she is heavily pregnant her tone takes on a razor sharp edge.

"How dare you talk about things you know absolutely nothing about, I really do think Ms Fabray you need to take a good hard look at your self. Before you start sticking your surgically enhanced nose in to other peoples business, I am not going to explain myself to you, as it is none of your damn business. In addition, if I hear of you spreading filthy untruths or rumors about OUR son, you will wish you had never crossed my path. I can and will have you charged with slander, thus tarnishing your business reputation in this town, and we all know Quinny that your reputation is all you have ever cared about and will do whatever you can to anyone just to keep it. So do us all a favor and leave us alone."

Fabray is standing slack-jawed at Rach's tirade and just as I move closer, she raises her hand ready to slap Rach.

"You touch my wife again Fabray and I will be more than willing to arrest you"

She bats her eyelashes at me and purrs out trying to sound sexy, while reaching out a hand to rub my arm "Why Officer sexy, do you like the idea of frisking me? Can we do it naked? I'll be all for that, at least I am still prettier tha…"

By now, a large crowd had gathered gawking at the spectacle of one of Lima's best known but least liked business people in the midst of a stand up argument in the middle of the Lima mall. Quinn glances around at the faces suddenly realizing her reputation is at stake, and then swipes a hand over her fancy hair do, saying in an overly fake sweet tone.

"Aw come on Finny I am only catching up with an old friend…"

"Don't try to talk your way out Fabray; I know you and my son does not tell lies. Neither Rachel nor I have ever fallen for your games and we are not going to start now, so take my advice and find a new hobby because picking on MY wife. The** ONLY** Mrs. Finn Hudson there will ever be, is old news. Now go away so my family and I can get on with our day. Just remember a holiday in jail won't look too good on your business planner, there aren't many houses to sell inside."

XXXXX

Rach had just over a week until the baby was due and she was uncomfortable, her Doctor had ordered her to stay off her feet as she was only tiny and the baby was big, just my luck I passed my giant Hudson genes on to our child. Chris was so excited about the baby and wanted to help with the preparations, he was thinking up names, and every chance he got would spout them out at us. Thankfully, none were definite as he changed his mind every 10 minutes and we really did not our baby called Spiderman, lorax or Astro boy. Mom and Dad are due to arrive on this afternoon's train, Rachel had let her parents know by letter sent to the last address she had in France, but hadn't heard from them, not really knowing where they were at any given time, as they were travelling somewhere in Europe still.

As Chris and I are waiting, we count the carriages on the other trains at the station. "How many on that one buddy? You try counting while I keep a look out for Nanny and Grandy"

"Ok Daddy" pointing with a chubby forefinger he starts his voice dragging out each number "1…,2…, 3…, NANNY, NANNY, Daddy look Nanny an' Grandy." he takes off and in his excitement nearly knocks Mom over with his energetic hugging of her legs.

"Oh my goodness Chris, who is an excited little boy? Hi honey " she says though her giggles leaning up to kiss me on the cheek then scooping Chris into her arms and pressing a series of noisy kisses on his face .

"Hi you guys' how was your trip…?"

Chris interjects with an excited full on ramble at the top of his voice about his nu baby and how he is gonna be the bestest big brudder, meanwhile trying to drag Mom up the platform towards the car, telling Dad and I to hurry up "'case baby is borned 'afor we get's home"

Rach is so happy to see Mom she bursts into tears, "Oh M-mom it i-is so great to see you, you are much too far away then just as she reaches up to hug mom everything happens at once…

Eighteen hours later, our son William Finn Hudson was born a whopping 9 pounds, 15oz. How my tiny wife managed to do that will always amaze me, I was so happy and when the nurse put him in my arms, I started to cry. Rach was still in the delivery ward apparently needing some stitches _'_down there'.

"M-mom look it's our baby, m-mine and Rach's b-baby and everything is ok, he is beautiful isn't he?"

"Oh honey he is perfect and he looks just like you did when you were born, look Chris, do you remember" she wipes her tears and then says her voice going all soft, "Ooohh we need a photograph to match the one of you and Finn in your favourite arm chair dear"

Many pictures later, making sure to get some of my boys together and with me, I was left alone with Chris and baby Will, while Mom and Dad went out to get some dinner. Before taking Chris, home. I was just watching Will still holding him in my arms and answering Chris's multitude of questions as best I could, when the door opened and a nurse wheeled my beautiful but exhausted wife into the room.

"Momma, look we gots the nu baby 'n Daddy said me is a big brudder now an' his name is Willam Finn." Chris is trying to get off the bed and over to Rach, but I grab the back of his sweater telling him to wait a bit and let momma get into bed as her belly was sore, and to make sure we were real gentle with her. He watches with wide eyes, first at her very much smaller belly then at Will, then back to Rach, trying to make the connection, as the friendly nurse helps Rach into bed and makes sure she can reach the help button, before congratulating us on our handsome baby then leaving the room.

"Hi baby have you been good for daddy?" Rach opens her arms for Chris to climb into, and as he does, I make sure to keep his feet away from her lower body. "You are right you are a big brother and Daddy and I know you will be the best brother to William, making sure he is safe and loved. Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you already and now we have two handsome boys to love lots and lots.

Rach and Will stay in the hospital for about four days while her stitches heal and the baby nurse was happy with the way baby William was feeding and Rach was comfortable with handling a new born, as obviously Chris was a toddler when he came to our family. However, my Rach was a trooper and took to motherhood, like a duck on the pond or whatever the saying is.

Chris was so good with William (Will for short), and we were very happy to see he showed no signs of jealously at all wanting to help with the baby all the time, he even starting having his afternoon nap again when Rachel and Will had theirs,

Swiping a hand over his forehead and puffing out a big breath claiming "Dis big brudder bizness was vwery hard work"

Little Will was such a good baby, only really crying when he was hungry, (typical Hudson) he and Chris got on so well, although as he grew Will upset Chris by not showing the slightest interest in a football being more interested in the round basketball. The boys spent a lot of their time trying to out do each other on the scoreboard. Chris was hoping to follow a football career, after high school but Will seemed to follow his momma in the academics department, being ahead of his classmates, from the time he started the first grade, funnily enough he was the one to step in and solve any family squabbles. Sitting us all down and calmly listening to both sides and offering sound advice.

Many people thought he was the older of our two boys, probably because; as he was the taller and more solid of the two, and always seemed to be the more mature one. Whereas Chris was into his football and hanging out with his buddies at the skateboard park, doing all manner of heart stopping tricks, and half scaring his mother to death the couple of times she arrived a bit early to pick him up… He got the same look and 'talk' each time about taking risks…

"What would happen if you fell off that ramp thing baby and broke your arm or your leg hmm? You could not play your guitar or football, please promise me you will be careful."

He would answer the same every time his hazel eyes alight with teasing and his tone agreeable just to please his mom.

"Yes Mom, I'll try but man the rush I get when I scream down the half pike or do a flip trick off the top in mid air… it's gnarly Mom"

"Christopher Noah Hudson! Please do not scare me with such things; my god if anything happened to you I would be beside my self."

She would look at him and smile patting him on the leg saying, "You are just like Noah, always taking risks."

They would spend the rest of the drive home laughing and talking about how he and Noah are so much alike.

Once they both reached high school age, Chris being three years older, and Will just out of his teens both boys however were on the same page when it came to their parents '_romantic moments'_

As they were totally over catching them, being all sappy and romantic, kissing or slow dancing or kissing or groping each other, or kissing, in some part of the house at any time of the day. With no indication, sometimes all it took was their mom's beautiful voice singing as she was doing her chores that made their dad act like a lovesick goofball. Or other times when her and dad were home early from work the music would be playing but they would be cuddled up on the living room sofa carrying on like a couple of horny high schoolers. The boys got their parents together and as a family did have an embarrassing _'discussion_' one Friday night saying they needed to organize some sort of warning system, like maybe a sock on the door knob or had they tried locking the door?

Poor Rach blushed the deepest red I had ever seen, when the boys suggested the sock on the door, and after my laughter subsided , I spoke up in our defense, "We are sorry boys if our … er… um … activities embarrass you, but your Mom is well… just so hot I can't help myself you know."

"FINN HUDSON… don't speak like that in front of our sons' they shouldn't know about such things…" they are only babies she whispers

Both boys burst out in fits of laughter finally calming down enough to speak, Will says " Mom really we are 15 and 12, it won't be long before we have steadies, well Chrissy already has a list to choose from, all those cheerleade… "

Chris reaches over and punches him in the arm and Finn is taken back to his own high school days as he feels he is looking at clones of himself and Puck, they used to carry on the same way.

"OW man that hurt"

"You deserved it dude, I'll have you know I stay away from them cheerios, they are_ ALL_ bad news, the quiet ones in the drama and music classes are the ones to watch anyway, I promise to save some for you when you get to high school in a few years."

"Whatever, Will says and makes a half hearted attempt to hit his brother, while turning to their parents, but seriously you two it's like we are the adults sometimes and you two are the horny kids always kissing and groping…"

"That's enough Will, ok we promise to try and tone it down a bit … but you know your mom has a hard time keeping away from me 'cause I'm such a stud…" I can't help but wiggle my eyebrows at Rach who is sitting there mortified by the conversation. She stands up in a huff presses her hands onto her still tiny waist and levels me with a look that says, "_You Mr. are sleeping on the sofa_"

"That's it I am going to loose myself in the drudgery of the kitchen chores, as obviously the men of this house don't want me to be happy… but FYI if it weren't for our, "_Horny behavior"_ you wouldn't be here." She flounces off, her butt wiggling under her floaty kaftan dress thing draped over her rocking body and her still long hair swaying across her back.

Us guys can't help but burst in loud breath stealing laughter at her dramatics.

"S-stick with t-the theatrical ones son, they are much m-more interesting and passionate anyway. I say as I stand fist bumping both my sons and high tail it after my wife, finding her with her back towards me as she is bent over cleaning out a knee high drawer, and as I grind my hips into her butt her sexy squeal of "OH Finny, yes please" reaches the boys and before long we hear.

"Come on Will; let's go play a video game in the SOUND PROOF BASEMENT" groaning as before they get down stairs the record player is switched on and their mom's loud giggles and dad's moans of "Oh baby you still do it for me" are heard over what ever record was on the turntable.

I scooped up my tiny giggling love and raced up stairs to our bedroom, making sure to lock the door, and tossing her on the bed and as I started to undo my shirt buttons, she without taking her eyes of mine slowly slid the floaty material up her thighs and over her head. Leaving her lying there looking like a goddess, in just a tiny pair of panties and a matching soft pink bra.

My loud groan of desire had me rock hard in an instant I stalked over to her stripping the rest of my clothes off as fast as I could.

I knelt on the bed situating my hands either side of her face, and shifting my long body along the length of hers. Rubbing my dick along her thighs and over her love cave, teasing her and as my mouth found her nipple and started to suck I felt her hands raking through my hair and down over my shoulders, her fingernails, digging into my skin making me groan deep in my throat.

"Please baby touch me, I want you Finny."

A few more minutes of talking to my girls' I raised my head and slammed my mouth over Rach's demanding she let me in, our kiss was deep and sent tingles all the way down my spine, till a need for air forced us apart. I then kissed her again this time soft tender ones as I moved my arms underneath her and held her shoulders as I felt her widen her legs and bring them up over my hips allowing me room to settle my throbbing dick against her tight wet center. Making eye contact I whispered my love for her as I pushed inside, groaning at the way she is still so tight. Rach lifted her hips to meet my thrusts each and every time, our movements never hesitating; we knew exactly what the other wanted. Her moans and sighs sounding as always like the music of angels. We fell off the edge together a few minutes later, gasping for air as though we had just run a marathon.

"God I love you Rach and I am so thankful you are mine, so thank you baby for you and our family."

"I love you too baby more than you will ever know and I will always love you."

"You know we have probably scared the boys for life now, Finn"

"They will be ok baby, but I mean they are both good lookin dudes and the ladies are bound to notice them, but I reckon they will keep to themselves till they find their one just like I found my tiny singing angel in the school hallway."

"Well let's hope they don't knock their girls over and very nearly squish the life out of her."

"Oh honey you wound me, maybe you should kiss my heart better, you know you can if you want to."

"I want to Mr. Hudson very much."

Loud giggles and moans again reached the ears of the Hudson boys who had come up from the basement 30 minutes later in search of food, but instead called for take out dinner, as they did not expect to see their parents for the rest of the evening. They just took their double meat and cheese pizzas and extra large sodas back down to the basement and having organized sleeping bags and pillows, two big bowls of popcorn settled in for a VHS movie marathon on their large color TV. They had a selection of their favorites including Monty python, Rocky, Star wars a new hope and Blazing saddles.

xxxxx

Rachel and I never hid the truth about Noah from Chris, as soon as he could understand we would show him pictures, tell stories and celebrate his birthday and such. Also explaining why he did not look like me whereas Will was a carbon copy of me at the same age, and when he was about 16 years old, we gave him the letter Puck wrote.

"Thanks, Mom, Dad, I'm just going out for a while ok, I promise I'll be ok I just wannna be alone". Rach and I watch as he heads straight into the back yard and the tree house he and Will helped me build a few summers ago. From the kitchen window, we can see as he climbs up the ladder and most probably curls up in his comfy beanbag chair.

Chris takes a few deep breaths to calm his nerves down, turning the thick plain white envelope over in his hands a couple of times, wanting to read it but not wanting to at the same time. He is nervous about what his birth father has to say. Even though his mom and dad told him about Puck years ago, he only has a very vague memory of the man, so he hopes that maybe this letter will fill in some of the gaps and make it a bit more personal. He takes another deep breath and slides his finger underneath the flap pulling out the folded sheets of paper, and starts to read.

_Dear Chris, _

_I guess I should start by introducing myself; I am your biological father, Noah Aaron Puckerman, I was born in Lima Ohio, on August 25 1940, I always preferred to be called Puck, (it was more badass than Noah) but Rachel was the only one apart from my Mom and sister Joanie, who refused to call me anything but Noah. I am Jewish, and not a very good Jew either , much to my Mom's disgust, as I have always enjoyed bacon ( I blame Hudson for that due to the many meals I had at his place) and going out on Friday nights. I don't suppose you remember me but I loved and cared for you the best I could from the time you came to me when you were only a couple of months old, until you went to live with the Hudson's. Obviously, if you are reading this letter then my buddy Finn came through for me, like he has done since we were kids and made sure you got it._

_I am sure Finn and Rachel have told you about me begging them to be your guardians and later on adopt you as their own just in case anything happened to me. They wanted to help but it was a big decision on their part… Well all it took to sway them was you offering Rachel a smooched up meatball in your chubby little hand and calling her Momma, the first time you met when you were just two years old. But Chris please believe me when I say I loved you, from the minute your birth mom (who by the way was a beautiful young nurse I met in Vietnam and had a very brief relationship with. But for what ever reason she wasn't ready to be a mom and I didn't even know I was a dad) until she tracked me down and signed you over to me and I did the best I could I promise, but I was suffering from PTSD and knew it would take me a while to get over that. I also knew that you deserved more._

_I know Finn had a hard time adjusting after his tour of duty was up too, but where we differed was; he had a Rachel… (I used to call her My Jewish American Princess) a woman who had loved him unconditionally since they were 14 years old. For such a tiny thing, she can be very scary the way she will stand up for her beliefs and those she loves, not be ashamed to be herself and forget about the haters in the world. I am sure you have been witness to some of her long-winded rants and the way she recites the dictionary but her heart is golden and she only ever wants the best for people she loves. _

_I am also ashamed to say I gave her a hard time when we were in high school. But she never looked down on me or made me feel stupid, ( and boy did I do some stupid stuff) instead she told me I was talented and encouraged me to join their glee club, telling me it would be good for me. She had her own problems with a crazy blonde girl named Quinn Fabray, promise to keep away from anyone with that name, the same goes for cheerleaders Chris, if you ever go back to Lima Ohio, because they are poison. She would stoop to the lowest level trying and I am very happy to say failing every single time to get Finn away from Rachel, even though he never showed her the slightest interest. I am glad I woke up to my self and lost all the interest I had in her, after she slapped Rachel. I will not tell you what happened but one-day maybe they will tell you._

_I guess what I am trying so badly to say Chris, is that I do love you really I do, but I just could not do the dad thing. Nevertheless, I hope you will grow up to be a better person than I have been, but then with Finchel as parents, you are bound to be, and you should be proud to call Finn Hudson your Dad. He was also one hell of a QB, and without being too full of myself, I will admit with me as his receiver we could have done some major damage if we would have followed football as a career. It was the same when it came to music, him on the drums and me with my guitar, Man! I can remember some bitchin' jam sessions we had, I hope you inherit those things from me, I reckon you will grow up to look like me, you do now, which isn't a bad thing, the world needs more Noah Puckermans' in it to keep it on its toes. But if you are musical then that is a bonus because Chris… music can get through even when the spoken words can't, just remember that._

_Therefore, make sure you try your best to be like Finn, he was the best ever person and friend, any man could ever hope to have because it didn't matter how many medals or commendations a man got it was how he treated others that mattered in the end, and Finn was the best man I'd ever known. He saved me and that in my book makes him a true hero._

_I am hoping to reenlist in the army once the doctors say I am ok , I found my place in the scheme of things Chris, and feel like I am finally good enough. I know the people who love me have always known I was a good person, but now… I KNOW I am, and I am happy being in the army having direction and a purpose in life , I know war is a terrible thing and the things a man has to do are sometimes awful and seem hopeless, but it really made me a man, and if I die. At least I will have made peace with my own self, I also know that you … and when I think about it are the best thing I have ever done, will be cared for by good loving people who will help you become a real man too, though I hope when you are grown the world will be at peace. _

_In closing Chris, please don't hate me for giving you up, I just wanted you to have a good stable life filled with all the good things, and know that as much as I loved you, I couldn't give you that life. I know you will be a decent man when you are grown and hope you remember me in some way _

_Take care,_

_Love from your father_

_Noah Puckerman _

Chris could not help the tears that ran down his face in rivers, after reading the letter, of course he had known since he was little that Finn Hudson was not his birth father. Now knowing he was held in such high esteem in the eyes of Noah made him love Noah that much more. Finn was his dad yes, and he loved the tall dorky man with all his 16 year old heart, but now he had two dads, who were both brave, strong men doing in life what they could to help others. Chris Hudson had never been prouder of any one before in his life. He wipes his eyes on his shirtsleeve and tucks the letter back into its envelope, climbing out of the tree house smiling to himself when he sees his parents through the kitchen window, trying not to look like they are waiting for him, anxious expressions on their faces.

The minute he walks in the door, they are sat the table with what Chris can see are empty coffee mugs and his dad 'reading' an upside down newspaper, and his mom folding the dishcloths.

Trying to make his voice light to put their minds at rest he says, "You know you two make the worst spies ever" and before his sheepish looking parents can formulate an answer or excuse. He leans over to hug his mom and says into her neck, "Thank you Momma" He then turns to his dad and holds his hand out for a fist bump and when it was done hugs the man saying softly "Thanks Dad, I am proud of both my Dads' and hope to be just like you when I'm a grownup."

***XXXXX***

A/N: I decided to break this chapter into two parts, mainly due to the length.

Please let me know what you thought. Part 2 will be up in a few days.

Thanks for reading

_Cab4five_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 10 Part 2**_

In May 1992 an invitation to a 25 year reunion of Finn's unit in Vietnam arrives in the mail box of 525 Bluebird Avenue, the celebration is scheduled for the July long weekend at the Observation City Hotel and Function center in Columbus.

Opening the plain white envelope, I started to smile, MAN! It would be great to catch with the boys, as bad as the war and being away from home was, having guys' like Bluey and Jerry, made it all just that much better and the fact we were all missing our girls, well we had a common topic of conversation. Thinking I'd finally being able to introduce my Rach, to them so they could at least put a face to the name that I went on about everyday, for those two years.

I had been planning to take Rach away for an early 29th wedding anniversary weekend as well as our 52nd birthday celebrations anyway, and thinking we could do it all at the posh hotel in Columbus, and spent a lot of time trying to find a show or something special to surprise her with.

Rach was happy about the reunion as long as I was.

"I'm sure I will be ok baby I've not had any problems for a long time now, and anyway I want to treat my beautiful wife to a weekend away in a fancy hotel. Where she can be waited on and someone else can do the cleaning for a couple of days, plus I can sex her up and no one will care if we make noise or splash all the water out of the tub after a round of sexy bath fun, 'cause that's what hotels are for."

She giggles cutely "Ok honey well in that case I had better make sure my wardrobe is suitable for a weekend away, maybe I need to go shopping at that new Victoria's secret store at the mall." Rach looks at me from under her lashes and bites her bottom lip. Making me groan and wish, I had time to race her upstairs and have my dirty way with her. I was still as much in love with and turned on by her at just over fifty as I was at fourteen. And hoped nothing ever changed that. She pecked me on the cheek and ran a tiny hand down my chest and over my groin gently squeezing me, and then giggling like a naughty elf, as she made her way up stairs. Leaving me with a semi hard on and the prospect of an eight-hour shift chasing idiots, up and down the highway before I could come home and '_work' _off my frustrations. However, I did have the anticipation of Rach modeling her new purchases for me later to look forward to. Therefore, with a goofy side smile and my mind awash with thoughts of thongs and skimpy bras and baby doll nighties and a naked wet Rachel. I make my way out the front door and to work.

xxxxx

I had spoken to Will on the phone, just a few days before Rach and I left for the reunion and was very pleased to hear he was doing very well in Seattle.

"Hey Will how's things buddy? Yeah we are just fine, Mom is organizing our stuff, and she has been checking things off her to do list for the last week. I told her all we need are our selves and a bathroom bag and maybe one pretty dress and a suit, as we were going to spend most of the time in our room, I booked one with a big hot tub bath for our weekend away in Columbus."

Will interrupts me with a loud "DAD, what you two get up to in the privacy of your room is your business, and anyway shouldn't you old timers be well past all of that?"

"Ha, ha, never son, your Mom is as hot and enthusiastic about sex now as she was years ago; it gets better with age you know. When you and your Jenny, have been together as long as Mom and me you will understand what I mean you will never get enough of each other; I am just glad you boys were as lucky finding your soul mates as I have been. But enough about our sex life,

I hear Will say "thank god" and we both laugh loudly continuing our conversation.

"I am excited about catching up with Bluey Waters from Australia though; he was making the trip as part of a retirement holiday to the USA with his wife. Along with Jerry Posey who is bringing his girlfriend, who he apparently met at his granddads retirement home in Lake Erie, when she moved her Mom into the room next door. You just never where love will find you, he sounded like a teenager when he called to ask if I was going.

I am also stoked that my old uniform still fits, you should be proud son that your old man is in as good condition as he was years ago and I bet I can still wind my QB's arm up for a game winning throw."

We shared another laugh when Will said "You are talking to the wrong son dad, football is Chris's thing remember" we chatted for a little while longer, about his work and his basketball games, till he said he had to go, "'cause he was taking Jenny out to dinner for their first anniversary and he didn't want to be late."

I told him to be safe, laughing at his retort of "You and Mom scared us boys you know all those years ago, with your '_goings on'_ so there is no way I am not going to be, but then again we are married Dad so we don't have to be safe anymore. I would say give Mom a kiss for me but well, you don't need to be told twice huh Dad. Say hi to Chris and Jane for me as well, talk to you soon, Love you."

"Bye son love you too, and I will certainly pass on the message to your Mom, though I might have make it an in depth session."

At Will's groan of feigned disgust I chuckle loudly and hang up the phone."

I was thinking how lucky Rach and I have been with our kids, both had grown into very handsome and good trustworthy men and had been lucky enough to find and fall in love with beautiful loving women who loved them with the same unending passion that he has seen in his Rach all this time. Now Chris and Jane were on the verge of becoming parents. Thus making him and Rach grandparents all was good in the world of Finn Hudson.

Rach spent as much time as she could, helping Jane while Chris was at work. He was the football coach at McKinley High, and thoroughly enjoyed his position. He had been on the cusp of a promising career with the Buckeye's, Ohio's state team, as a wide receiver, and back up QB, which was uncommon, but he was just as good in either position, a career that was unfortunately cut short, by an illegal sacking in which his knee twisted the wrong way, resulting in an inoperable break. However, as a coach, he equaled Coach Beiste in his ability to turn idiots into excellent ball players, thankfully without all the farmyard analogies, and the McKinley Titans were once again the team to beat.

xxxxx

The reunion, held at the swanky 'Observation City Hotel and Function Center' in Columbus started well, Rach and I met up with Bluey (I finally found out his real name is Ron) his wife Marie, and Jerry and Elyse. Enjoying a nice dinner and catching up on the past. The girls all seemed to get along swapping photos of children and grandchildren.

After dinner, we all separate for a bit talking about catching up tomorrow for lunch or dinner, and wander through the displays of photos and other things. Rach left me looking through a lever arch file of papers while she was on the other side of the pinup board. I see quite a few photos of the doctors and the other boys and nurses from my MASH unit, the pain in the ass motor pool sarge was in one picture standing in front of the workshop like a sentry, there was even a couple of pictures of the '_business ladies'_.

Along with articles from the newspapers about the crash caused by enemy sabotage, that took out my best friend Puck and four others. I feel sad, and cannot believe how much time has passed. I smile sadly at the fact that Puck never got to know the good man Chris has grown into and the amount of personality similarities, they share.

Halfway through the next file I feel my anger start to build, and I burst into sad tears, which soon turn to angry ones, as everything from that time comes rushing back into my head like a rewinding and then fast forwarding video. As I remember, what happened in Vietnam and the protestors that attacked Rach making her lose the baby.

I flip over another couple of pages in the file, hoping to maybe see some of the positive things we did, like helping to rebuild homes or helping the orphans at Christmas time, when all of a sudden… a strangled cry escapes from my throat and has Rach rushing back to my side.

"Baby what is the matter? I am only able to point to the laminated page in front of me.

Rachel takes my shaking hand and lifts it to her mouth pressing a comforting kiss on my palm, while her eyes widen at the words printed in clear bold type.

** LOCAL LIMA MAN, AND WAR HERO SAM EVANS, LAID TO REST **

**AFTER EMOTIONAL EULOGY FROM DEVASTATED AND, MUCH IN LOVE WIFE (Quinn Fabray).**

Underneath is an article about Sam joining the army to fight in Vietnam and the land mine accident that injured him, after he had gone to take some food to a group of villagers stranded by a flooded river, another couple of lines about the things he did. Then the rest of the article seems to be all about Quinn his '_grieving widow'_ who is struggling to cope and bring up their son. There is also a black and white photograph of Quinn dressed in black (well Rachel assumes she is wearing black if only to look the part, being _'consoled'_ by the mayor and several other people of importance in town, all looking somber at the event. The blonde meanwhile is looking more annoyed than anything and wishing she were anywhere else.

Rachel is gob smacked at the words, and is unable to comprehend the impertinence of the woman. She tugs on my hand to get me away from the main hall; I am whispering my safe word "_finchel, finchel, finchel_" repeatedly the whole time. I still have not said a proper sentence when we arrive at our room, as Rach guides me towards the bedroom and onto the bed pulling me against her chest and running her fingers through my hair as she starts to sing.

I calm down after a few hours and kiss Rach telling her I am ok now and it was just a shock is all, but I need some fresh air, promising her I will not do anything silly but will be back in a little while.

Knowing I need the time alone she just kisses me and tells me she loves me so very much and to please, please be careful.

I send her my dimpled lopsided smile, saying I love her too and how she and the boys are my entire world, so there is nowhere else I want to be ever.

Rachel cannot settle worrying herself silly about Finn, as he is still not back and it has been three hours. She grabs her purse and the room key off the bedside table, and heads down stairs to the hotel bar, where she noticed a lot of other ex soldiers, and a very large group of suit clad and fancy dressed business people. Who from the banner hanging on one wall affirmed it was _The_ _Ohio_ _Real Estate Industry, Sales Person's of the Year awards, _thinking nothing of it she continues with her quest. Wondering if maybe Finn had gone for a drink, (he didn't drink much these days) but perhaps he had been waylaid, catching up with some old buddies, she ventured in farther. Looking around she doesn't see him… but as she gets closer to the booths at the back she sees a mop of familiar soft brown hair streaked with grey, then a most unwelcome sound that shouldn't be anywhere near who she now knows is her missing husband.

"Oh Finnilicious…, baby I have been waiting for years for this. I always knew you wanted me. Now I've finally got you on your own, we can get our sexy on, I'm not wearing any panties you know, as soon as I saw you I took them right off. Hic… You know now that I have been named as Realtor of the year for the Allen county area. I am even more popular. But for the life of me, I can't understand why you have stuck with the hobbit, she is hardly pretty… hic…"

Rachel had heard enough; her angry strides take her in no time, over to a private booth at the back of the room where she finds her husband, in an extremely inebriated state, trying and failing to push a nearly as drunk Quinn Fabray! Away from him and more particularly her hand out of his pants, her hooker red lips pressed so firmly against his jammed shut ones, the poor man was struggling to breathe.

"**OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WOMAN WILL YOU NEVER LEARN, GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND AND LEAVE HIM ALONE."**

I hear Rach yell in a voice like thunder, my head snaps up and I send her a scared drunken smile and little wave before trying to apologize

"R-Rach? B-baby I wasn..., I mean she jus… I don't… baby I'm sorry…"

Finally being able to push the blonde off my lap, I jump up, albeit extremely unsteadily and wobble over to where my tiny wife is standing at her full 5' 3", hands on her hips glaring daggers at the smirking blonde witch, now sprawled in the booth, legs wide open and her skirt up around her butt.

The anger rolling off Rachel's tiny body in tsunami sized waves is always more than enough to scare most people, and I am not ashamed to say that when Rach gets fired up she scares me shitless, drunk or not.

She turns to me, reaching down covertly zipping up my pants, and using the tip of her thumb and forefinger, removes from my pocket what I can now see as being a pair of lacy red panties, throwing them in to the other woman's face. Turning back to me and saying softly in a voice that conveys that she is not angry with me,

"Finn, honey please leave this to me and get yourself a big glass of water or black coffee to help sober you up."

As I drop my head, I feel my face burning with shame; she takes my left hand and raises it to her mouth kissing over the gold wedding band that she placed there 28 years ago. Then reaching up to kiss my lips after wiping the remains of the trashy red lipstick off, with a tissue from her purse, and whispering just loud enough to carry to the other woman,

"I love you baby you know that and I don't blame you for anything."

Before turning back to the bane of her existence, she does notice from the corner of her eye however, that her husband does not move too many inches away from her side.

"God hobbit can't you just leave us alone! Finn and I were catching up on old times…"

Rachel starts to speak in a dark tone

"Shut up! You had better fucking listen and listen good Fabray. I have had enough of your horrid lies and sluttish behavior in regards to **MY HUSBAND**. So I am about to lay some knowledge on you. Are you comfortable? No, well that is bad luck just shut your vile mouth and hear me or so help me god…

"WHACK" Quinn's open palm connected with Rachel's face

"WHAT THE FUCK FABRAY… Rach baby…

"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOBBIT FINN SHOULD BE WITH ME AND I…"

Without saying another word, Rachel forms her hand into a fist, and lets it fly with every ounce of strength in her body, until it connects with the sneering face of the blonde. As Quinn stumbles back into the booth, her flailing arm knocks over the glasses and bottle of wine on the table, her eyes dazed, and one hand raised and pressed against her face. Rachel stands over her and in a big voice belying her tiny stature spits out her words...

I could see the minute Rach brought her arm down that she was in pain, most probably with a broken hand. But she kept going

"I am going to talk now and you **WILL** listen or so help me god I will hit you again, and I can promise you, you will not get up for a good long while. I have put up with your crap since high school, but because you were too busy dishing out disparaging and offensive comments to anyone you came across. You never took the time to find out what I was like, and because I was interested in being a good student, who thank you very much, graduated with a 4.o GPA and numerous awards. You deemed it necessary to belittle and abuse my friends and I for joining a club that made us happy and fulfilled. Not to mention the trashy way you kept throwing yourself at Finn. Knowing, as the fact was common knowledge since the end of freshman year that he and I were a couple. You even had the audacity to confront me when I was 7 months pregnant in front of our son, scaring him in the process when you knocked me down and accused me of cheating on my husband and lying about our much loved and wanted baby's paternity."

Fabray is slack jawed at Rach's tirade and does nothing but stare at Rach, a look of being scared shitless plastered on her over- painted face. Inside I am cheering my petite brunette love on, remembering what my dad said when I first came home all those years ago about her defending, so fiercely those she loves. I was thankful the waitress handed me a large bottle of water, when she passed, as I did not want to leave Rach alone

Taking a deep breath, she continues.

"The stress and horror that Finn has dealt with, including the tragic loss of our first baby before he went to war. Then losing a good friend in Sam Evans and after hearing, Sam's story as he lay horribly injured waiting for help as to why he joined up was because of the lies **you** told him. Then his best friend since kindergarten, killed in an enemy sabotage attack. As well as the horrible things, he has had to deal with in the police force. He is trying to fight the nightmares and anxiety attacks."

"Furthermore, we have worked out with medical help that **YOUR NAME** is the trigger for his PTSD. Even though I am under no obligation to explain myself or divulge personal details of mine and Finn's marriage. I will tell you just so you know you will never get between us. Finn and I adopted Noah Puckerman's son mere months before he died **AT** Noah's desperate request. As for sleeping with others and lying about a baby's paternity, that was **YOU**! Now for the last time leave us alone! Finn has never been interested in you and he never will be. You could only dream about having the connection with anyone, that Finn and I have, you are much too mean and self-centered."

"Oh and Quinny don't even bother to try and have me charged for assault because there are about fifty people in this room including some of your realtor friends, who witnessed **YOU** hit me first and as any smart person knows I was acting in self defense when I retaliated. Moreover, I have the law on my side…,"

Rach pauses for a minute to send me a smile and cup my cheek with her hand; I turn my face so I can kiss her palm.

"So I guess the long and the short of it is… "She smirks at her little joke motioning between us. "**YOU** are screwed. Now for the last time stay away from my Finn and if you see us in Lima make sure to cross the street or even turn the other way, because from this second onwards, you are a _**persona non grata**_ to us and our family.._. _Oh one last thing Quinny, if you continue to '_advertise your goodies', _like a cheap bordello whore maybe you should get a better dye job' because what you are flashing the entire bar… well I'm sure you know what I mean.

Fabray gathers her wits and spits back motioning to me with her chin tugging her skirt down quickly "If he is that much of a mess hobbit why not leave him and let someone prettier get with him, looking at your ugly face all-day would be enough to give anyone nightmares"

Fuming, I ball my hand into a fist until I feel Rach put her hand on my forearm. "Don't even go there Fabray, Rachel is all I have ever needed or wanted in my life , her and our sons are the best thing to ever happen to me, and nothing you or anybody does is going to make me think different. You never stood a chance in hell of getting with me in high school and an even lesser chance like in never, now, so just forget it."

In a calm tone, Rach says, "If you have not figured it out by now you never will"

A loud snort of contempt from the blonde then a hiss of "You mean no one else will have your ugly loser self"

I wrap my arm around Rach's shoulders pressing a kiss on the top of her head as she leans against me, I guide her away from the bar, thankful I have sobered up somewhat so at least my mind and mouth can work in unison now.

A sneer from the booth as Fabray spits venomously, "what can she give you that I can't, I am rich, an…"

I drop my head and sigh deeply stopping midstride, I lean down to kiss Rachel's lips and run my hand down her face, looking deep into her big brown eyes, which are glistening with unshed tears. Never taking my eyes off her beautiful face, and fed up to my back teeth with this bitch's fucking crap and the way she has never had a nice word to say about anybody. I say in a dark dangerous tone,

"The answer Fabray … is LOVE, pure and simple! Rachel has loved me with her entire being since we were 14 years old and I return that love with the same unyielding passion. A steel cable tethers us that nothing, not wars, death, distance, or even this terrible PTSD that I have been troubled with for years, can ever break. There is nothing in this world that will ever make me leave her, even though she has dealt with my crap she loves me still and I am so fucking grateful to her I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the tears she has shed on my behalf."

With that, final word, Rach and I make our way out of the bar, looking for a cab to take us to the nearest hospital. After about 5 hours waiting in the emergency and finally being seen to by a frazzled young doctor, (It turned out Rach did indeed break her hand and was in a lot of pain obviously ) we left the hospital Rach, with a plaster cast from her mid forearm to her hand and a prescription for some strong pain killers

I felt it was my fault if I had not gone back down stairs and got drunk… Rach reached out for my hand, as always our minds on the same page.

"Please don't blame yourself baby, it was a well overdue smack down. That woman has had it coming to her for years and I guess I just had enough. Let us hope she finally got the message that you are taken, and I will not stand for her shenanigans or barefaced lies anymore... But thank you for what you said… I love you."

"I love you too baby and thank you for you."

We pressed our lips together in a tender kiss cementing the words we had just verbalized, before sitting back, snuggled together and staring out the cab windows each lost in our own thoughts

We tried to enjoy the rest of our weekend, but due to the pain Rach was in and the shame and upset, I was feeling over Rach getting hurt and seeing the pictures and articles about Sam and Puck, not to mention rehashing all those memories from high school, that talking to the blonde witch evoked. Rach and I decided to head home to Lima.

_XXXXX_

The aftermath of the events at the reunion cause Finn to suffer a relapse, again losing touch with his sons' and taking stress leave from the force; shutting out friends'. Like before, he has nightmares, but unfortunately, they are worse this time. He thinks it is better for the both of them if he moves into the spare bedroom at night. No matter how much Rachel begs him to stay with her. He refuses and she cries herself to sleep, sometimes waking up in the middle of the night to find Finn's arms wrapped around her and his face pressed against her chest, or his mouth latched on to her breast suckling her. Dried tear tracks evident on his face. Through her silent tears, Rachel combs her fingers through his hair and sings softly, waking up in the morning alone. Therefore, with a breaking heart she tries again to get him help. Wishing she could get some answers but every doctor she has spoken to recommends a course of medication to help calm Finn down, she knows he does not want to go down that road. She desperately wishes Sidney Freedman was still around to help but sadly, he passed away about five years ago.

He becomes reclusive and antisocial; his sudden bouts of unexplained anger scare Rachel. Which turns his guts inside out, he gets lost in the vicious circle of despair, causing him to find comfort in a whiskey bottle, and going so far as to drive to another town to buy his whiskey so the local gossips don't start spreading stories.

Rachel is at her wits end as how to help Finn and just hopes he can somehow find a way out and come back to being the happy go lucky, fun, friendly guy she knows and loves.

She had been feeling unwell, for a few weeks on and off with a fever and stomach pain, which no amount of aspirin seemed to cure. But of course, she disregarded her own issues, to try to help her husband. As before, she tried talking to him, but that usually resulted in him yelling her to leave him alone and how she should look for someone else, who wasn't prone to pansy assed fucking breakdowns, and sobbing in the corner like a 3 year old. This behavior went on for months, his alcohol consumption increased dramatically. He did calm down when she sang like always, but as soon as she stopped he was all depressed again, and she just wanted her loving, Finn back, for him, for her, for their sons.

Rachel was struggling to cope with everything, until one day she just could not take anymore she knew Finn was not mean on purpose and none of what he was going through was his fault but… He seemed to be giving up, even when Chris or Will called on the phone or Chris and Jane brought baby Christine around, to visit with them. Finn would lock himself in the basement with his whiskey, ignoring everyone, until they left and it was just him and Rach in the house.

Rachel found her husband in his basement curled into a tight ball in the corner, just staring at his drum kit, the ever-present whiskey bottle clutched against his chest.

In a soft pain filled voice she says, "Finn honey can I talk to you please?"

He just shrugged his shoulders and without even looking at her took another slug of his drink. Though If he had glanced in her direction he would have noticed how ill Rachel was looking, her hair was lank and plastered against her head her beautiful face pale and etched with deep pain and she had one little hand pressed over her lower abdomen, her already petite body looking even smaller.

"Finn can you look at me please?"

"Why? You are only going to tell me you are leaving me 'cause I'm a useless moody drunk and you don't love me anymore and I already know I'm a mess so just get it over with…"

If there was, one thing that made Rachel Hudson's anger flare up, it was hearing her big strong husband sound so defeated and expectant that she would just up and leave him. He was so lost in his own sadness and despair that he was unaware that his problems were causing Rachel to unwisely ignore her own health issues.

"FINN CHRISTOPHER HUDSON, YOU STOP WITH THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT TALK RIGHT THIS MINUTE, I AM NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU EVER, BECAUSE I LOV… ouch, f-fiinnyy…" She then just collapses on the floor, causing Finn to scream out her name, dropping his nearly empty bottle on the floor as he scrambles to his feet and rushes across the room to Rachel's side, panic filled tears streaming down his face.

"RACH…" baby I'm sorry I… didn't mean… NO RACHEL, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME… I-I'm so sorry baby, R-rach..."

Through his panic filled sobs, he finds the resolve to get up and find the phone calling 911, his medical training kicked into gear, by the sudden burst of adrenalin surging through his body. While he is waiting, he takes a good look at Rachel and is shocked into tears again when he sees how ill she looked.

It seemed like forever till the ambulance arrived and Finn watched on, raking his shaking hands over his scruffy bearded face and through his hair until it looked like a briar patch. He did not take his bloodshot eyes off his tiny wife, as she was strapped to the gurney. He demanded to go with her and after taking one look at him the EMT guy said it was probably a good idea as otherwise they would be pulling him out of a wrecked car.

The drive to the hospital is tension filled Finn is holding onto Rachel's tiny hand as the EMT checks her vitals and asks Finn questions, but all he manages to say is "Rachel Hudson she is 52 years old" and "please baby I'm so fucking sorry I'm a mess"

I swipe a shaking forefinger along her cheek wiping away the tear that has fallen and start to cry again when her eyelids start to flutter and a tiny just audible whisper of "finny?" escapes her lips. Finally reaching Lima Memorial Hospital, Rachel is rushed through to the emergency room, while I am left standing in the waiting room shaking like a leaf now the adrenalin rush as worn off. I pace the room, raking my shaking hands over my face and down the back of my neck, my tears silently dripping off my chin. Finally, I stumble into a hard plastic chair and proceed to rock back and forth waiting for news of my Rach. I cannot even gather my thoughts enough to call Will or Chris.

He does not know how long he has been sitting there but it felt like forever when he hears his name

"Excuse me Mr. Hudson?"

I jerk my head up at the sound, hoping it will be news about Rachel. All I can do is nod my head, stuttering out Rachel's name and trying to formulate a question.

The nurse smiles at me handing me a cup of something and saying in a kind tone, "would you like me to call anyone for you?"

I nod again and fumble with my wallet to get the card I have my son's phone numbers written on ( only because I could never remember them) and with a shaky hand passes it to the nurse. With a quiet "Thank you, our son Chris lives in Lima, but Will in Seattle needs to know what happened to their Mom."

"Of course Mr. Hudson, it should not be too much longer before someone will let you know how your wife is doing, there is a coffee machine just up the hall if you want more ok?"

"T-thank you nurse."

The nurse returns a little while later handing me back my card and telling me that Chris was on his way, and Will was trying to get the first plane out of Seattle."

Just as Chris arrives and hugs me, a doctor dressed in surgical scrubs emerges from the hallway leading to the operating theatres taking a seat next to us.

"Mr. Hudson, my name is Dr. Jarvis and I'm happy to say your wife is going to be ok, she had an infected appendix, and as it was, it was on the verge of rupturing. We are extremely lucky she collapsed in a way otherwise it might have been too late and the poison would have entered her bloodstream, it should have been seen to months ago…"

I can't listen to any more and I jump up from my chair heading towards the door.

"I-I need to see R-rach… Chrissy, please I need Mom. I send Chris a pleading look, he had been talking to the doctor who suddenly had a look of understanding on his face, and nodding as he patted Chris on the back I heard the words

"Room 325 on the 4th floor"

"Sure Dad let's go"

We don't say much in the elevator that seems to take forever, but as soon as it stops, I rush out looking both ways along the hallway till I see the arrow that points to where Rach is.

As I reach for the handle of room 325, my heart jumps to my throat when I see through the door glass my tiny wife looking even tinier lying on the bed with wires and tubes connecting her to a drip and other monitors. Reaching her bedside, I fall into the chair on the opposite side of the bed to where the monitors are.

"R-Rach baby I'm so, so sorry, I forgot about you please forgive me I love you baby please wake up and tell me you love me still I didn't mean those things I said I promise."

"Dad relax, Mom is gonna be ok, the doctor said they got her appendix out just in time, but you know how she is, if one of us are hurting she puts us first, and I guess she figured you were more important right now."

"I know Chrissy, but god if she wasn't here I'd be nothing she has been my rock since we were teenagers ya know, and I feel so bad that because of me she forgot about looking after herself…"

Chris tries to tell me again that none of it has been my fault and when Will gets here, he will say the same thing...

"Finny"

"Rach, oh god, baby I was so scared I was going to lose you"

"Baby don't be upset please, I'll be ok I promise" I stroke her cheek and taking hold of her hand tenderly press kisses over the back of it.

A weak chuckle from the bed containing my reason for living set off another flood of tears, though this time in relief as I pressed my lips gratefully against hers.

Chris came over and hugged his mom kissed her on the cheek before saying softly, "Glad you are ok Momma, I'm gonna go pick up Will from the airport so don't go anywhere till we get back ok?" a weak nod from Rach as I nodded my thanks at him, never taking my eyes off Rach.

I took a hold of Rach's left hand and pressed it to my lips, lowering it but not letting go, in a meek tone, I said, "Fuck Rach I have never been so scared in my life, and I am so damned sorry you neglected your health worrying about me."

"Finn please listen to me… Baby I am ok now that's what is important, but honey please don't blame yourself you didn't know and to be honest I hadn't thought much about it I just thought the pains I was having, were maybe a strained muscle or just cramps to do with the changes my body is going through due to menopause." She closes her eyes then snaps them open a couple of times wiggling a bit in the bed trying to get comfortable.

I can tell she is still coming out of the anesthetic and needs to sleep.

"Just sleep now baby and when you wake, the boys should be back ok? I just gonna sit here and watch you, and I don't care how creepy that looks to anyone else I just need to know you are here and ok."

"I love you Finn Hudson you know that and I am always going to be here for you no matter what happens, but yes I am a bit dopey from the drugs still so how's about you come down here and kiss me again, then I will sleep and be all refreshed when my baby boy arrives."

"I love you Rach and I promise to get better…" I am unable to finish as my tiny love pulls my neck down to her level and presses a long kiss on my mouth. Then tucking our still joined hands under her cheek she slides into slumber.

Before Rach is discharged from the hospital, she is told to take things easy, which meant no lifting or strenuous exercise for a little while, so between me, Chris and Jane, we take turns doing things for her once Will went back to Seattle after a week or so. It was great seeing him and I know how happy it made Rach to have both her boys home at the same time, a fact that helped with her recovery, but I have to admit it seemed to make me nervous I wasn't sure why.

I stopped drinking after Rach was rushed to hospital and the first night she was home, I took the half dozen or so bottles of whiskey, I had stashed about the house and tipped them all down the drain, then had a good long shower and shaved off my scruffy full beard. Then spent the night with Rach snuggled up against my chest, my arms as tight as possible around her, and for the first night in a long time slept reasonably well.

xxxxx

Time moved on as it inevitability does and I was making significant progress towards a full recovery, for which I was very thankful for, the nightmares, though still scary only occurred a couple of times a week now and with not drinking myself stupid my outbursts of temper had dwindled to almost nothing. The only aspect that hadn't changed was my reclusive behavior and the shame and embarrassment I felt especially where Chris and Will were concerned.

Rach tells me all the time that the boys… well, they're grown men now, fully understand that I haven't been myself and will continue to help in anyway they can. Though I feel like a failure in their eyes for succumbing to the horrors, and repairing the damage with them is a bit harder for me to do.

Chris tries many times, I'm positive he is tag teaming with Will even from across the country, to tell me that is not the case and understands that what I had to deal with during the war and was forced to relive at the reunion. Also, the attack on Mom (The boys knew about their sister and wanted to hunt down the bastards who took her away from their family). None of that makes me in any way weak it makes me a damn good man and he (Chris) for one is still as proud to call me Dad now as he has always been, and he knows that Will feels exactly the same way. In addition, he is honored and proud to have two brave men he can call dad, me and Noah.

Will calls every week and tries to talk about anything he thinks might takes my mind off my troubles, He tells me all about his law firm and Jenny and how he is doing in his rec league basketball games.

Rach does her bit by singing; she tries to encourage me to join her in singing our old glee songs and purposely leaving my drumsticks all around the house. She is a sneaky one my tiny wife, she has also been randomly banging on my drums when she knows I'm in another part of the house. I think she is hoping I will come and correct her then play for her. After a while, her tactics start to make a difference, not to mention I feel bad for allowing my kit to be mistreated like it is.

Slowly I feel the darkness lifting and I am able to see the sun, so to speak. Before long, I feel like the old Finn Christopher Hudson.

I caught her one day, I had just come in from mowing the yard, I enjoyed the solitude of the yard work, and also the physical aspect of the blade mower, (the boys brought me a new top of the range rotary Victa mower with a catcher, for fathers' day the other year but I like the old one best). I heard the banging from the basement so as quietly as possible, I walked to the door and stood there just watching her. A soft smile on my face at the determined look on her face, though she had to stop every so often to tuck strands of her still dark hair that had escaped her top knot due to the intense head banging she was doing behind her ear, and biting her bottom lip.

She looked lost behind the big base and the sticks held awkwardly in her little hands. I also noticed she had a country and western record playing on the turntable that was making it nearly impossible for her inexperienced drummer's ear to follow.

"It takes years of practice to be able to play those drums ya know missy, just banging on 'em like that is gonna upset the neighbors and very likely get you a noise infringement ticket not to mention hurting the feelings of the poor defenseless skins. It looks to me like you need some proper instruction, from someone who actually knows what they are talking about."

With a smug look on her still beautiful face, she watches me as I walk down the stairs and stand next to her, still seated on the stool.

"Well maybe if I could find someone who would be willing to show me what to do and how to hold these bangy things… then maybe I might improve, do you happen to know anyone like that sir?"

"Do you know I just might, you might have seen him around."

"Well what does he look like?" She then sighs dramatically tapping a forefinger against her chin "Hmm now that you mention it, I have seen a guy hanging around lately he is very tall and sexy, he also has the cutest dimples, his hands are quite large, and I am sure would know what to do… I wonder if that is him, gosh I sure hope so."

She giggles a little and swipes her thumb along the edge of her fringe moving it out of her eyes before looking up at me licking her lips.

"Do you have a contact number for him that I can call and maybe organize some, one on one tuition? I would really like to know how to handle all the equipment…"

My booming laugh at her playfulness makes me smile, so I lift her off the stool and without letting her go make myself comfortable pulling her back on to my lap, groaning slightly as she wiggles against my groin, and putting the sticks in her hands correctly, my own folding over hers and tapping out a beat on the bass.

I removed my hands and started to press little, butterfly kisses against the soft silky skin of her neck and down along her shoulder. Smirking as my actions make her breath hitch and a soft "Mmm baby" leaves her lips as she leans her head back and turns her face enough so our lips can meet in a tender kiss.

"I think you know enough now" I puff out, "how about we go upstairs and practice that kissing thing some more, as well as that other thing I been neglecting." I feel Rach smile against my lips as I move one hand up her waist, caressing her boob, instantly feeling her nipple harden so I know for damn sure she isn't wearing a bra.

Standing and lifting Rach in a bridal carry I head for the stairs pulling away slightly to look her in the eyes and whisper" Thank you baby for bringing me back"

She shrugs and simply says, "I missed you Finny, and I needed you to be back for you, remember we are Finchel and that means…

"Endgame"

"Endgame"

We both said at once. Causing us to both burst into laughter, making my way up stairs in a hurry we proceeded to spend the rest of the day and well into the evening reacquainting ourselves with each other...

xxxxx

An excited Rachel rips open the padded envelope with the Seattle post mark, one Tuesday morning in 1999 and giddily tells me over breakfast all about Will's new baby son, and shows me the photo's they sent. He and Jenny named their son Nicholas Finn, and everyday he looks more like Will did, and he already has a thing for music because he is quiet and much happier when there is music playing, and sometimes he moves his arms as if he is holding a pair of sticks.

I am pretty happy when I hear that and start to spend a lot of my free time in my soundproof basement with the door locked. Then when Rach asks me what I'm doing down there all the time I just kiss her on the mouth and send her a side grin showing up my dimples. I'm not a hundred percent ready to face the world just yet but if I take baby steps, then before long nothing will bother me and I can remove every last brick in the wall I have built between myself and my son's.

Rach just shakes her head, still as much turned on by his sexy broad physique and twinkling amber eyes even in his late 50's as she has always been. Smiling brightly when she hears seeping out through the crack under the door, his drumming and deep baritone voice singing along to his new favorite music genre which is eighties classic rock. Making herself comfortable on the step so she can hear Rachel has tears in her eyes as she listens to the words.

" _I can't fight this feeling any longer_

_And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow_

_What started out as friendship_

_Has grown stronger_

_I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

_I tell myself that I can't hold out forever_

_I said there is no reason for my fear_

'_Cause I feel so secure when we're together_

_You give my life direction_

_You make everything so clear_

_And even as I wander_

_I'm keeping you in sight_

_You're a candle in the window_

_On a cold dark winters night_

_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might…"_

Tears running down her face at the knowledge that her Finn was back, Rachel Hudson made her way to the kitchen, digging out all the ingredients for batches of banana bread, sugar cookies and chocolate walnut brownies. All her husbands' favorite treats, thankful he had something to replace the dark dreams and breakdowns he had been dealing with on and off for the past 30 odd years. She couldn't wait until he was ready to tell the world that he didn't give up that easily.

xxxxx

2015:

One day in the summer of 2015, a call came into the switchboard of Fabray-Evans and Co real estate office in Lima, and was answered by the one and only Quinn Fabray. Oscar Shawcross at 'Lima Legal' was calling, and (even though he was in his mid 90's Oscar was still a very fit and sharp minded man and didn't let anyone male or female get the better of him) requesting his property at 515 Fieldview Way Lima. Be given a first-rate, house and yard cleaning and the utilities connected. In preparation for his new law office manager, Will Hudson and family who would be arriving in Lima from Seattle within the next few weeks. Once it was ready to call Chris Hudson on 555-202-005 to let him know, as the gentlemen would be collecting the keys for his sister in law Mrs. Jenny Hudson.

Hanging up on Oscar Shawcross, after taking down the details she then went about organizing with the cleaning and maintenance firm that dealt with all the manual tasks, to deal with the house on Fieldview Way.

Quinn knew Chris Hudson, by sight and reputation only. As he is about 30 years younger than her, they obviously did not mix in the same upper society circles. She had read in the local paper about his unfortunate accident that put a stop to his promising football career (well she supposed some thought it was unfortunate, the world is full of failed sports jocks, so really what was one more). And his coaching successes with the McKinley High School Titans for the past few years but apart from that, he is a stranger. Will Hudson though she doesn't know at all.

She looked forward to meeting him secretly wondering if he was anything like his father Finn (and losing herself in the memories of the super cute boy she always thought she wanted but who refused all her advances and made it obvious he wanted nothing to do with her.) She knew he had many years ago married that singing midget Rachel Berry (She conveniently forgot all the horrible things she has said and done to Finn and Rachel over the years) and even though they all live in the same town, their paths haven't crossed for many years. And really, at 75 years old she can't be bothered.

She has her money, status and fancy house on Dudley road, and if she is totally honest with herself, she is much too selfish to share anything with anyone. There is also the fact that she knew she never felt anything for the tall cute QB, but she liked pretty things and out of all the boys around, he was the cutest and the only one likely to help her gain the title of most popular couple and prom queen in high school. So why shouldn't she have him?

She hadn't forgotten the altercation, with Rachel in Columbus that year either, but chose not to admit, that it was all a result of her own behavior. For some reason the words the brunette spoke that day were stuck in her head, but just because they were there didn't mean she had to listen to them. She did feel a twinge of jealously, though when she thought of the years she wasted chasing Finn, only to be rebuffed each time and having the brunette win. As she had never felt this tether rubbish they went on about, she didn't believe it could happen… but then again Finn and Rachel Hudson had been together since high school so maybe there something to be said for soul mates. After all 50 odd years was a long time to be with the same person. Though she admittedly wouldn't be able to put up all of those problems, they said Finn had suffered with that PTSD stuff. It would have made her run a mile. Not to mention the fact that they enjoyed being parents, something Quinn had never taken to. That's what nanny's were for surely.

She and her son Jay were never close but once he found out about his real father. By recognizing his picture in an old high school thunderclap, as being nearly identical to his own he demanded she tell him the truth, then after getting a court ordered blood test done and having the proof stare him in the face, he never spoke to her again.

Shaking herself from the past and thinking maybe, she had been in the wrong a lot of the time, Quinn Fabray shrugged her age-stooped shoulders, and got on with her day calling for a takeout cappuccino with extra bitter chocolate dust.

XXXXX

"Hello? Hey, son how are you? Yeah me and Mom are fine… no I'm good Will honest."

"That's great dad, I'm happy you are both ok, and doing well… listen I've got some news, is Mom there? Can you put the phone on speaker?"

"No Mom is over at Chrissy and Jane's, why? Are you and Jenny and the kids all ok?"

"Yeah everyone is fine Dad, it's just I suppose you heard that Bill Jackson the Lima practice manager from my law firm passed away suddenly?"

"Yeah, Yeah I did he was a good guy his poor wife is completely lost and so is their daughter Becky… what does that have to do with you though?"

Well, I have been offered the chance to run the Lima office as a partner so that means Me, Jenny and the kids will be relocating to Lima in the next couple of weeks, Oscar Shawcross, has organized for us to move into the company house on Fieldview way. Jenny and the girls will most probably fly and Nick and I will drive as we've our dog to bring. I just wanted to let you both know, I think Oscar told the agency to call Chris when the house was ready so he could collect the keys and such till Jen gets there… We are all excited about the move, and with Noah only a year above our Nick and the girls in freshman year, the kids will at least have a friendly face at their new school. Shoot…, I've got to go dad, can you please let Mom know and give her a big kiss from me. We will see you all soon, I can't wait."

"Um yeah ok, Will see you soon."

I hung up the phone, suddenly nervous about seeing my family; I had unintentionally cut myself off from both boys the last few years, but the feelings of disappointment and shame I felt when they looked at me was hard to shake. I know I love them and are so very proud of the men they have grown into … and I know they don't think of me as a failure, but I can't put my finger on it…, I mean I don't even know Will's kids,… I know their names and that Nick likes music and is a drummer, but what if it is too late to connect with them? And what must Jenny think of me, a grown man too freaking scared to leave the house to even visit with his grandkids?

I still don't really go out much, besides the PTSD help line call center, Rach tried to get me to help out at the Police run youth group, I did go a few times and enjoyed myself, and as those kids didn't know me from a bar of soap they had no preconceived ideas of what I was like. I guess they were just grateful someone was there to show them how to play the drums and toss a football, which I have to say, is getting harder to do the older I get. But maybe, just maybe I can pull myself out of this self-induced separation and get to know my own flesh and blood before it really is too late...

Nodding my head firmly at my decision, I grabbed the car keys and climbed in the car for the short drive to Chris and Jane's, to tell them and Rach, Will's news.

As expected, they were all very happy, Rach was so looking forward to having all her grandkids around, Christina was at college over in Columbus, studying special needs education, but came home for term breaks and holidays. Noah was moving into his senior year; Nick would be a junior and the twins, Bonnie and Michele, freshmen. But who from all the pictures they send look just like miniature Rachel clones, except their eyes and hair are lighter brown but they are just as tiny as Rach and Nick is a spitting image of Will.

On the way home, I told Rach about my epiphany and vowed to make more of an effort to reconnect with our kids and grandkids, feeling that Nick and I might be more alike that either of us knows. With tears flooding her dark chocolate eyes Rach leans over the seat to press a deep kiss against my lips and says, "I love you Finn Hudson"

When Chris stopped by a week later and said he was going to get the keys from the realtor's office, on Friday I asked if I could go with him, as I wanted to help get things ready for Will and Jenny.

"Are you sure Dad you know that Fabray woman owns that real estate business don't you? And still spends a fair bit of time in the office."

"Yes Chrissy I know that, but she doesn't bother me anymore she means nothing to me or your Mom, everything that happened is in the past and done with. My family, the family I made with your Mom, you and Will has always been more important to me than anything that woman does or says. I have decided life is too short and I don't want to miss out on any more of my kids and grandkid's lives"

Chris beams the biggest, brightest Puckerman'esque grin he can fit on his face, wiggling his eyebrows (taking me back about 60 years when Puck used to do the same thing, ) and says "Ok then lets do this man!"

Chris picked me up at lunchtime on the Friday; before Jenny and the girls were due to arrive on Tuesday. Rach was worried that something would happen, but I reassured her with a deep kiss and a squeeze of her butt, that I would be ok, and anyway Chris was going to be with me but there was nothing that woman could do to upset me anymore.

We arrived at the office of Fabray-Evans and Co just before 1:30 pm, and Chris explained what we were there for to the receptionist, who nodded his head, asking us to take a seat for a few minutes.

"Are Jenny and girls still staying with you, till the movers arrive with their stuff Chris?" I asked and just as he was about to answer I hear…

"Well, well, well if it isn't the sexiest guy in all of Ohio sitting here in my little ole office, my word, time has been good to you Finny I've still got that bottle of wine we can shar..."

I just ignore her as Chris stands up with a scowl on his face, and says darkly. Cutting off her crap talk, I smile internally at the defeated look on her still over painted face… God you would think at 75 she would stop trying to look like she was 15 and just grow old gracefully; my thoughts wander to another 75-year-old woman who is still as beautiful now as she was at 14. But the difference is she has accepted that time changes a persons looks, and works with it, all Rach has really changed is the length of her hair, cutting it so it ends just above her shoulders.

"Excuse me Ms Fabray, my name is Chris Hudson and am here to simply collect the house keys to 515 Fieldview Way, for my brother and sister in- law, Will and Jenny Hudson, and attend to any required paperwork, on their behalf until they arrive from Seattle. So can we please get on with our business then we can be on our way, as my Dad has more important things to do today than be propositioned, by someone who should know better and who never in a million years stood a chance of getting with him."

I looked at Quinn then, noticing the look of defeat that flittered across her face, finally realizing the amount of wasted years she has spent chasing me, she nods her head, and looking straight at me softly saying in an apologetic tone.

"Of course Mr. Hudson, I apologize for my unprofessional behavior, please follow me to my office I have the file ready."

Chris and I follow her and while he signs for the keys and whatever else, he has to do. I just think about how even with all the losses of good friends and the terrible things I have dealt with including the PTSD I have suffered over the years. I still won and came out the other end stronger, because I had and still have MY soul mate, the love of my life, my Rachel, my two sons, and grandkids, and even though it was only for 5 months before she was born our Caroline. I have indeed been a very lucky man. I am going to enjoy the rest of my life remembering, the words Nana Hudson wrote in that very first journal back in 1954 that still ring true today

_Always keep the music in your heart dear, it can guide you through the worst times and make the good times even better._

At times I didn't believe those words, especially during my dark days, but when I think about it a truer word has never been spoken. Apparently Nick is into music, so maybe a new Hudson duo can wow the world.

"You ok Dad? You were away for a while,"

"Hmm? Oh yeah Chrissy I'm ok just lost in the past for a bit I guess."

As we get to the door I hear "We could have been great together Finny, Prom King and Queen…"

I turn around walk back to the big fancy desk, taking a look around the sterile office that does not show any sign of personality or anything but business awards and a single piece of abstract artwork in dark colors on one wall plain white blinds on the windows. There isn't even a pot plant or family photograph on the desk, just a computer and telephone and other stationary items.

I take a deep breath and say not in anger but more in a disinterested tone. "You never even registered on my radar Quinn as anything more than a selfish nasty bitch, and even if I hadn't met and fallen in love with Rachel at 14 years of age, you and I still wouldn't have got together for the simple reason I don't like you, and until you learn to like yourself, you will never be happy, money and business awards can't keep you warm at night or give you a shoulder to cry on or love you for you, and there is no way in hell I would ever swap my life even with all the bad things that have happened to me. At the end of the day Quinn I have had love, undeniable and true and that will always mean more to me than the biggest bank balance in all the world. "

Turning again towards where Chris is smiling at me I hear in a sad voice, "I know Finn but I had to try one last time, I'm sorry for everything I've done to you and your Rachel, you two really are meant to be." I just nod my head not even turning around, fist bumping Chris as we make our way out of the office and to the car.

Xxxxx

Jenny and the girls' flight was due to land at Dayton airport about 12:30 pm and factoring in the drive back they should arrive mid afternoon. Rach, Jane, and Christina, had been busy making up the guestrooms and organising a barbeque dinner. Will and Nick as they were driving, would arrive sometime on Wednesday evening.

I admited to Rach that I was nervous, about meeting the kids but she reassured me that everything would be ok, and it was going to be just as nerve racking for them to meet us. But if I just be my handsome charming self before long it will seem like we've all known each other their whole lives.

I spend the time waiting for Chris to get back with Jenny, Michele and Bonnie sitting on the porch swing and thinking about my life idely wondering where my journals from long ago ended up, as they would be a way for my grandkids to get to know me… well maybe not the bits I wrote about me and Rach making love that might put the kids off, but the rest of it, I make a mental note to ask Rach… I am shaken from my thoughts by the sound of Chris's ruby red 4x4 pulling into the driveway and the excited chattering of the ladies of the house. I see Jane and Christina practically run down the stairs to greet the newcommers, while Rach makes herself comfy on the swing next to me and takes my large hand into her tiny one, raising it to her lips and pressing a kiss on the top over my wedding band.

"It is going to be ok baby, you have nothing to be guilty or embarressed about, you are a wonderful man and once the kids get to know you, which won't be long at all, they will love you, though not nearly as much as I do. So I have to thankyou for the wonderful life we have shared together."

With tears in my eyes I lean down my lips finding Rachel's and my right hand cupping her cheek and through our kiss tell her that if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have had a life and even with our losses and troubles there is nowhere else I could have been me. Pulling apart for air I whisper "I love you Rach thankyou for everything"

"Ahem… when you two are finished we have some people here who would like a chance to get to know you both." Chris says discreetly swiping his finger under his eyes

Rach and I look up deer in the headlight looks on our faces, and see three quarters of our family just looking at us with beaming smiles on their tear stained faces.

Chris continues "Bonnie, Michele these two randy seniors are your grandparents Hudson…, Mom Dad, Bonnie and Michele."

Rachel immediately open her arms more tears streaming down her face as the girls who could be her doubles, make their way across the porch and take turns in hugging her.

Hi Nana I'm Bonnie, and am so happy to meet you finally"

"As am I darling" Rach says in return as Michele takes her sisters place while Bonnie does the same with me then they swap

"Hi Grandad, it is good to meet you."

Through my tears all I can do is nod and hug the girls, after that Jenny gets a go and Rach is beside herself with happiness that nearly her whole family is in the one place.

Noah walks onto the porch a few minutes after, taking note of all the damp eyes and sniffles looking towards his dad in alarm, wondering what is wrong, but after a fist bump with Chris who motions with his chin over to where his cousins are squeezed on to the porch swing with their grandparents talking their ears off about everything and the names they have picked out for their ponies that Dad said we could have, and how wicked is it gonna be living just across the road from them and going to the same school and when Nick and Dad get here tomorrow ….

The rest of the evening is spent enjoying being together and as much as I have missed out on the girls lives, I am still slighly nervous, in bed later that night my beautiful wife lets me know the way she always does that there is nothing to be afraid of, and sex at our age is still enough to make me feel everything, it might not be as wild as when we were younger but it is with my Rach, so yeah…

xxxxx

Just as Will drives past by the _**'WELCOME TO LIMA' **_sign Nick has finished reading the last page of his grandfathers journals, and openly wipes his tears. Feeling a mixed bag of emotions, and thinking his dad had been right about Finn Hudson being a hero, because even though Nick has never met the man, the words written on the pages prove everything his dad had ever said about granddad Hudson. But his underlying strength stems from a tiny brunette, who has loved him through it all and for one Nick can't wait to meet them both.

"Nick, can you text your Mom please and let her know we should be at Uncle Chris's in about 15 minutes."

"Ok Dad," Nick speedily moves his fingers over the keypad of his cell, and within a few seconds receives a reply, Pip is bouncing around in the back, excited about getting out of the car and having a good run around.

"Dad?"

"Yeah buddy"

"Should I be nervous about meeting granddad and grandma?"

"Nervous? What ever makes you say that son, Mom called last night after they got to Lima and she said Mom and Dad got on with the girls like they had always been around, and they kept asking about you. Dad was so looking forward to showing you his drum kit and was hoping you'd be able to get together and jam… though I don't know what sandwich fillings have to do with drumming, but there you go. Now we are here in Lima maybe he will be fully back to his old self I sure hope so.

"Yeah me too Dad, wow Lima is a lot smaller and cleaner than Seattle isn't it, oh man is that McKinley High? Oh dude that's Hummel's tires and lube where granddad worked."

The rest of the short trip Nick is spotting things mentioned in the journals, and as they turn down Hopewood Crescent, the Hudson men equally are ready to get out of the car and see their family.

Pulling into the driveway Will turns off the car, Nick reaches for Pip's leash attaching it to her collar and letting her out Will locks the car and as they make their way around the side of the house towards the patio, from where they can hear the splashing from the pool. Pip lets out a series of excited yips when she hears her kids.

"Hey little bro you finally made it, hey Nick how's it hanging dude."

"Hi Uncle Chris"

"Hey brother"

"Come on in, do you want anything to eat?"

"Nah I'm good man"

"Will hi honey, how are you? Did everything go ok, ooh, how are my pot plants did you remember to give them some water…?" Jenny's words are cut off by her husband's lips on her mouth."

"Oh my god what is it with Hudson's always kissing, I thought you would have seen enough of that when we were kids man" Chris chuckles

"Never don't you remember what Dad said when we teenagers? When you find your one you never stop." Will's chuckles mix with his brothers and his wife's.

"Come on man Mom and Dad are waiting to say hi".

Nick lets Pip off her lead and she straightaway jumps in the pool making Bonnie and Michele squeal and Noah laugh at her antics. The four Hudson's make their way across the deck then Jenny disappears inside after kissing and hugging her son, while the men grab a beer and a soda for Nick.

"Mom, Dad hi, this is Nicholas Finn, Nick nana and granddad Hudson"

Another round of hugs and kisses

"Hello darling it is so good to meet you" Nick is trying to hold his tears at bay at finally meeting his grandparents and in the few minutes he has been here can sense that everything he has read about the two people looking at him with tears in their own eyes was true.

Once his nana releases him he looks at his granddad and a look of immediate connection passes between them as they explode a fist bump.

"Hi granddad, I feel like I know you already" he rubs his hand over the back of his neck and says, "Hey if you aren't too busy one day soon maybe we could have a jam session I've got a new collection on CD of 80's rock and 60's rock and roll classics?"

Finn's eyes go misty as he answers with a nod and a soft "That would be boss Nick, thanks."

_*****XXXXX*****_

_A/N: Well there we have it. I think I will leave it at this point as I feel it ties up with chapter one quite well._

_I apologize for the mixed tense in some parts but it was a bit tricky for me, I am still getting the hang of writing in different tenses, I hope you all enjoyed it anyway. Please review and let me know your thoughts._

_Please accept my thanks to every one of you who took the time to read and review with such lovely words; I honestly appreciate all of you and am so glad you enjoy my work. Till next time, take care and keep on drumming:)_

_Cab4five_

Songs used: in parts 1 and 2

Let it be- Paul McCartney 1970 - The Beatles

Love me back to life – Richie Sambora &amp; Jon BonJovi 2002- BonJovi

Wichita Lineman- Jimmy Webb 1968 – Glen Campbell

I'll never stop loving you – Sammy Cahn 1955 – Doris Day

Gentle on my mind – John Hartford 1968 – Glen Campbell

No Surrender - Bruce Springsteen 1984 – Bruce Springsteen

Can't fight this feeling- REO Speedwagon

_* Just in case anyone is interested I also have 2 chapters of an original romance/fantasy story, posted on Fiction press titled 'The Key' (link is on my FF profile page) and I'd really appreciate some feedback on it._


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